


In Sickness And In Health

by OncexAndxFuturexKing



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Both of them play an instrument, Doctor AU, Fanart, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt Katsuki Yuuri, Illustrated, Itazura na Kiss AU, Jealous Victor Nikiforov, Living Together, Lots of it, M/M, Nurse AU, Parents AU, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Sad Katsuki Yuuri, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, They skate for fun only, Victor isn't anything like Irie though, getting married, they love each other above the world, though I wouldnt call it a musician au, victuuri wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-09-24 18:45:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 44,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17106119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OncexAndxFuturexKing/pseuds/OncexAndxFuturexKing
Summary: (!!New version + commissioned drawings!!)Victor Nikiforov - the country's top student - smart, talented, known for his signature platinum hair and striking demeanour.Yuuri Katsuki was insecure, unsteady on his path of life that would hopefully one day guide him to find the love he had always prayed for. Little did the know what destiny had in store for him.In which Victor moves in with Yuuri, whom he had rejected only a few weeks prior, and finds more than he could have ever hoped for.They start in Highschool and go on on their paths of life and love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this is the new, edited version of In Sickness And In Health. It comes with four commissioned drawings by ToraToramins (You can find her art in Chapter two) and mv-nikiforov! All thanks to you guys!!
> 
> I fixed all errors I could find, edited the main story and tried to make the characters and their relationships more realistic and fluent to read.

_I remember the day I first met him clearly. I had just settled into one of the uncomfortable chairs in the assembly hall when I heard his name for the first time. Viktor Nikiforov–the school’s, if not even the whole country’s, best student. I had had this bizarre imagination about a chubby, short-haired boy with braces and thick glasses that were way too big for his face. I had giggled to myself and settled deeper into the chair, preparing for lots of boring speeches and introductions. Never in my whole life could I have been prepared for what was to come. The speakers announced the name of the boy, representative of class A. I hadn’t bothered looking up at first, but when I did, I felt my heart leap in my throat._

_For the rest of the day, my thoughts were full of silky, platinum hair and striking, deep blue eyes the colour of the ocean and a deep, soothing voice that left chills all over my body. Viktor Nikiforov was the complete opposite of what I had expected, but he was so much more than I could have ever hoped for._

_Ever since that day, I kept dreaming of his face, his voice, of his splendid beauty and striking demeanour. But there was one particular dream that kept repeating itself all over again. It had grown to be my favourite. It got to the point where I was asleep rather than wide awake, wailing in my misery of being hopelessly in love._

_Viktor Nikiforov was the golden boy from our small, small town, yet known far beyond its borders. A blinding force of perfection, resembling the image of a god rather than a man._

_But this shall not be a story of my admiration towards Viktor, no._

_This is the story of how destiny and loved intertwined and changed my life forever._

* * *

 

 

Yuuri was lying in bed, desperately trying to calm his raging thoughts. He tilted his head to his left, focusing on his alarm clock that read 3:42 AM. He knew that if he fell asleep now, he probably wouldn’t be able to get out of bed in the morning. Yuuri had barely slept over the last few days, his thoughts wouldn’t stop racing ever since the moment he first laid eyes on _him_.

Him, also known as Viktor Nikiforov, a blinding force of perfection that had captured Yuuri’s mind. Despite all the cheesy romance movies Yuuri had watched over the years, he knew that falling in love with the school’s golden boy wasn’t the best idea. Especially not right at the beginning of the year.

He was doomed, some may say, but the hideous fangs of regret haven’t reached Yuuri’s soul, yet. For Yuuri, a fifteen-year-old, it was nothing but a glorious feeling. One that couldn’t be put into words. Despite Yuuri’s serious lack of information about Viktor, things such as where he came from, if he liked dogs (because Yuuri did) or if he was gay (because he just had to be), Yuuri couldn’t help but feel as if he already knew him.

Morning came, somehow, way too fast and unforgiving. With his alarm long over and his mother shouting from downstairs, Yuuri finally gathered enough strength to get up. After all, he might get to see Viktor for longer than a few seconds today. He might get to see his face, finally, or, if he was lucky, even run into him, they might exchange words, he would get to hear his voice, directed only at him, and-

“Yuuri? Yuuri?“ his mother, Hiroko, repeated with her smile as bright as ever. “I made you some pancakes. Your lunch for later is packed, in case you get hungry. I also won’t be home until at least nine.” Yuuri rubbed his eyes, trying to get the pictures of him and Viktor out of his head. “Yeah, thanks mum.” Hiroko smiled as she turned around to grab the car keys. After pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Yuuri’s forehead, she exited the kitchen and left for work. “Have a good day at school, sweetheart!”

Yuuri finished his breakfast in deafening silence. With his parents at work and Mari out of the house to live with her boyfriend, mornings tended to get rather quiet. A knock on the door brought a small smile to Yuuri’s face. The door opened and Phichit and Yuuko appeared, the only two people in his life he considered true friends. He got up quickly, put the plates in the dishwasher, grabbed his bag, and turned to greet his best friends.

“Hi, Yuuri!“ Yuuko then said, “I heard Viktor will bring his poodle to school today!” Yuuri’s eyes widened in astonishment. He didn’t know Viktor had a poodle. Saving the newfound piece of information, Yuuri replied, “Wow, he has a poodle? He’s so lucky!”

“I know, right!?” Yuuko cheered. From the beginning, Yuuko shared his fascination for Viktor. She also provided him with the latest news, facts and gossip there was about him. “I got a new hamster yesterday!” Phichit then interfered, smiling innocently at them. Phichit was one of the rare cases that was seemingly immune to Viktor’s charms.

Ever since their enrolment, the three had been inseparable. Long before Viktor entered their lives. Going to school together had quickly become their tradition, a way for them to talk and keep up with the latest news before a long and tiring school day.

The end of the day was still hours away. Yuuri was walking through the empty corridor, staring at the drawings that hung on the wall. Trees, mostly, some flowers. Nothing special.

“Yuuri,” an all too familiar voice said.

Eyes wide open, Yuuri whipped around to find the source. He could feel his pulse quickening, his heart racing. Could it really be that-

His excited expression fell as quickly as it came when Yuri Plisetsky passed him, accompanied by none other than Viktor Nikiforov. His hair, as always, was tied up in a ponytail. And even in a situation as simple as that, he was as beautiful as always. Viktor was now right next to him. Never before had they been that close, Yuuri could smell his perfume, strong and elegant and just right for someone like Viktor.

It was over way too quickly.

But…

Yuuri could swear that, even if only for a second, their eyes met.

 

* * *

 

 

“You have a poodle now?” Yuuko asked, a mixture of amusement and wonder clearly written on her face. Yuuri nodded, proudly tightening his grip on the small puppy in his arms. “I named him Viktor.”

Vicchan, as the family lovingly called their latest addition, was a small ball of fluff, love, and energy. Mornings weren’t nearly as quiet as before, Sundays turned into jogging and play sessions for the whole family and the time they all spent together increased, drastically so.

All in all, Yuuri can gladly say that getting Vicchan was one of the best decisions he ever made. The small poodle had claimed his heart.

Well, what was left of it.

Ever since his encounter with Plisetsky, Yuuri hasn’t seen Viktor again. The other boy was seemingly everywhere Yuuri wasn’t, as if he was avoiding him. _Of course he isn’t avoiding you, Yuuri! He doesn’t even know you!_ Yuuko had tried- and failed- to assure him. And despite his best friend’s assurance, Yuuri couldn’t help but feel as if he did something wrong.

His late-night cuddles with Vicchan quickly turned into crisis meetings.

The rest of the year passed with Yuuri snatching a few glances of Viktor in the schoolyard, in corridors, in the assembly hall or, just once, even while he was walking Makkachin. That exact moment had quickly become his second highlight of the year. He gladly thought back to it now.

It was autumn, holidays had just begun, and the leaves started to change their colours, starting their final dance until all their beauty would be lost forever, captured only in the minds of those aware enough to acknowledge it.

Yuuri was dressed in a light brown coat, his favourite pair of sneakers and a black beanie. Vicchan was excitedly pulling on the leash, wanting to get to the dog park as quickly as possible. The streets were unusually empty, despite the early hour. It was Saturday, but not just a regular Saturday, no. It was time for Phichit’s and Yuuri’s annual Best friend’s day. Ever since kindergarten, every third Saturday has been their special day, meant only for them.

Yuuko would sometimes come along, too.

Yuuri smiled softly, excitement settling in, and kept his eyes locked on Vicchan. It was funny, somehow, how he still looked like the cute, small puppy Yuuri fell in love with at first sight. Phichit loved Vicchan a lot, so did Yuuko. It couldn’t hurt to send a short picture to their group chat. After a quick search in his pockets, Yuuri realized that he must have forgotten his phone on the kitchen counter. Before he could regret his mistake, however, someone bumped straight into him.

Within a few seconds, Yuuri felt all the air leave his lungs as he hit the ground with a thud. Two strong paws were on him, keeping him down. And just as Yuuri opened his mouth to complain, something started licking his face.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! He normally doesn’t do that,-- but are you alright?!”

Setting his glasses back on his nose, Yuuri’s eyes frantically darted between the dog and its owner.

Its breathtakingly beautiful owner.

“Oh no, did you hit your head? Should I call for an ambulance?”

None other than Viktor Nikiforov said in a worried tone.

**Worried.**

Too shocked to answer, Yuuri just shook his head with his mouth hanging open. Viktor’s facial expression eased slightly after that. He stretched a gloved hand out, right in front of Yuuri’s face, and smiled, **smiled** at him.

Maybe he died and went to heaven. Because there was no way this was actually happening.

“Thank you,” Yuuri whispered as he was back standing on his own two feet. A soft whine from Vicchan pulled him out of his raging thoughts and back into the real world. He crouched down to pet the dog’s head.

“He’s adorable, don’t you think he looks just like my Makkachin?”, Viktor then said, and even though Yuuri couldn’t see him, he could hear that Viktor was smiling. “He is, isn’t he?“ Yuuri mumbles, pride shining in his voice.

“What’s his name?” Came the inevitable question.

“Vi,- um, it’s Vincent. But we only call him… Winnie,” Yuuri stuttered, inwardly flinching at his shaking voice.

Viktor, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to mind at all. He crouches down next to Yuuri and stroked his soft fur. Makkachin is now simply standing next to her owner, wagging her tail in a quiet apology. “You’re a cute one, Winnie,” He whispered, eyes shining bright.

Yuuri could only smile as he stared at the scene in front of him. _The_ Viktor Nikiforov was petting his dog’s head with _that_ smile on his face. The minutes stretched by, and Yuuri barely realized that Viktor’s attention was now fully directed at him. “Maybe we could, you know, walk them together sometime? I’m sure they’d get along fine,” Viktor offered, and if Yuuri didn’t know better, he would think that he heard the slightest tinge of uncertainty in Viktor’s voice.

Again, Yuuri could only stare. Viktor was looking at him, _looking at him_ , with an expression so different from all the ones he captured in his mind. “I would like that,” Yuuri whispered, smiling back.

Viktor’s expression morphed into his signature heart-shaped smile; it was familiar, somehow, but so different at the same time. “I don’t have my phone with me, um… Do you have yours?” Yuuri then asked, flinching as he saw Viktor’s smile faltering. “Neither do I,” he replied, “but a piece of paper should do the job as well, just text me later.”

Yuuri couldn’t help but stare as Viktor scribbled down his number on the tiny piece of paper he retreated from his pockets. With shaking fingers, Yuuri took it. Viktor’s smile was still there, kind and gentle.

“Well, it was nice meeting you,” Viktor then said as he turned around, clipping Makkachin’s leash back on. “Y-yeah, you too,” Yuuri whispered, shock still on his face as he watched Viktor’s retreating form.

How did this happen?

 

 

As soon as he arrived home, he locked himself in his room. He carefully picked up his phone, unlocked the screen, and clicked on the ‘contacts’ symbol. Typing in Viktor’s number, he felt his heartbeat quicken with every figure.

8:27 PM

 **To _Viktor!!!:_ **Hey! It’s Yuuri 😊 ( _delivered_ )

 **To _Viktor!!!:_ **We met in the park today. ( _delivered_ )

10:11 PM

 **To _Viktor!!!:_** You’re probably just busy but is this the right number? ( _delivered_ )

 

Yuuri’s prior excitement was gone by the next morning, when he found that Viktor still hadn’t answered his messages. In all his despair, Yuuri called the only person he knew would understand.

 _Oh Yuuri, I’m sure he’s just busy. Give him some time!_ She said. After three and a half days, Yuuri could see that Yuuko was struggling to find new ways to assure him.

At the end of the holidays, both their hopes were crushed when Yuuri opened his messages one morning to stare at the _read_ symbol. “Don’t be upset, Yuuri! Just go and ask him tomorrow. I’m sure everything will turn out fine,” Yuuko said shortly before she left, leaving Yuuri with at least a tiny piece of hope left to cling to.

 

Yuuri waited in front of Viktor’s classroom, thirty minutes early to make sure he didn’t miss him. Viktor came, just a few minutes before the beginning of the first class. Yuuri’s hands started to sweat as watched Viktor round the corner. Their eyes locked, just like they did the first time.

But this time they were cold. So, so cold. Instead of warmth, it was hatred staring back at him.

Yuuri flinched visibly as Viktor passed him as if wasn’t even there.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was Phichit who finally convinced Yuuri to hand over the letter.

Ever since _the incident_ two years ago, Yuuri hasn’t talked to Viktor again. His hopes had shattered, and so had his dreams of becoming friends with Viktor. He knew that it was his own fault for being that naïve, for believing that miracles could happen.

And yet here he stood, ready to let the ground devour him whole. His knees were shaking violently, and it got harder and harder for Yuuri to keep his focus on the corridor bustling with life in front of him. Viktor could round the corner at every second, so he had to stay focused! Phichit was standing only a few paces away, providing his best friend with mental support.

The letter, that was more like the story of Yuuri’s life, was weighing heavily in his hand, the weight steadily growing. Yuuri started to doubt his decision and considered running away instead. But after two whole years, he couldn’t just abandon this. He had put way too much effort in this to just give up. And who knows, perhaps today could be the start of a wonderful relation—friendship.

Oh, how wrong he was.

“I don’t want it“ came Viktor’s cold reply, his eyes dark of disdain and superior. Yuuri felt his heart shatter in his chest, an unspoken cry of help from within his body as he got rejected. Viktor’s voice was deeper now. His hair was short and silvery bangs covered his left eye. But his eyes were the same. They were still the most beautiful shade of cerulean, reminding Yuuri of the countless summers he spent by the ocean.

But the cold in them only reminded him of the exact moment he desperately wanted to forget.

The Japanese found his mouth disobeying, which caused him to pathetically stammer out a reply. Viktor glared at him, and Yuuri was sure that his eyes had just turned at least three shades darker as he turned around.

And so he stood, all hopes shattered and crushed by the unconquerable Viktor Nikiforov himself.

Viktor had long since disappeared behind the corner when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. His eyes, that were shining with unshed tears, soon locked with the familiar ones of his best friend. Phichit said nothing, he only put his arms around Yuuri in silent comfort.

The rest of the day was a blur to Yuuri. He didn’t remember the outraged screams of Georgi, one of his friends who also had a crush on him. Well, it probably was way more than a simple crush, but Yuuri wasn’t exactly certain if he wanted to know the true extent of Georgi’s feelings towards him.

Georgi entered their class a year ago, turning their usually quiet and structured school-life upside down. The boy was a mystery to them, one that no one dared to solve. From the beginning on, he didn’t think it necessary to hide his affection for Yuuri. And while it might be entertaining to watch, being the object of Georgi’s overflowing love wasn’t exactly pleasant.

Upon arriving home, Yuuri strolled to his room without even acknowledging his mother’s worried looks. He felt empty, void, somehow, without his dream to cling on to. Over the last weeks, Yuuko and Phichit managed to convince him to give it another try. Even after two years, Yuuri never once lost his admiration towards the other boy. Being in love with Viktor had always encouraged him to go on, to fight for what could possibly one day be friendship, if not more, like in all the romance novels. But now? Viktor hadn’t even accepted the letter in the first place. How was he ever to talk to him again?

The next days weren’t any different. Unfortunately, Yuuri’s mood wasn’t getting any better, either. His classmates avoided him more than usual, probably having heard of his disastrous encounter with the most famous boy of their school.

“Don’t be so upset, Yuuri! There are plenty of other boys who are even better than Viktor!” Phichit told him one day. His mother tried to cheer him up with Katsudon, but not even his favourite dish could pull him out of his depths of despair and misery.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_“Do you, Katsuki Yuuri,_

_Take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband._

_For better and for worse,_

_In sickness and in health,_

_To love and to cherish,_

_For as long as you both shall live?”_

_“I do.”_

_“Do you, Viktor Nikifor---”_

_“I don’t want him.”_

 

 

And again Yuuri awoke from the very same dream that kept haunting him for the last weeks. A dream he had once anticipated and loved more than anything, a dream that gave him hope and-

“Yuuri, can you please come downstairs?”, his mother’s voice rang through suffocating silence. Yuuri sighed, put on his slippers, and went downstairs. He wasn’t prepared for the sight that greeted him.

There, at the threshold of their home, stood Viktor Nikiforov in all his glory. With dishevelled hair and eyes that seemed dull and tired. He held his head downwards for a reason Yuuri couldn’t put his finger on. He was soaked from all the rain, drips of it falling on the carpet beneath him. _Even in all his misery he still looks drop-dead gorgeous,_ Yuuri agrees with himself.

“Konnichi wa“ was the only thing Yuuri said. Polite and formal, with a small bow. He didn’t even look in the other boys’ eyes. Yuuri feared that if he looked up, he wouldn’t be able to contain himself anymore.

After a few beats of silence, Yuuri decided not to wait any longer and turned around to leave for his room. His parents watched him closely, resentment on both their faces. _They wouldn’t understand._

He reached his room, took hold of the doorknob and tried to make out any signs of conversation coming from the entrance hall. When he couldn’t hear anything, he opened the door and shut it forcefully behind him. The letter laid untouched on his desk, abandoned since the day of Yuuri’s rejection.

The male sat down on his bed, face hidden in his hands. He crawled under the covers and just cried freely. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn’t it have been someone else? Yuuri couldn’t come up with any answers. When he found that he could cry no more, he laid in bed with what felt like a thousand thoughts running through his head.

Why was Viktor here in the first place? Was it possible that he was already gone? Did he come to apologize, no, it couldn’t be, could it? Did he merely seek shelter from the rain?

Would Viktor stay? If so, how could his life go on with the guy who held his heart and shattered it into pieces living at his home?

So many questions Yuuri had no answers to. All he wanted was sleep to claim him once more, but sleeping was all he had done over the last few days. He was utterly, hopelessly, and ridiculously doomed.

 

Yuuri didn’t know for how long exactly he laid there, but when his mother’s voice rang him out of his trance, he definitely wasn’t ready to face Viktor again. But what if he wasn’t even there anymore? Yuuri tried to cling to that last thought of Viktor having long since gone and reluctantly crawled out of bed.

Entering the living room, Yuuri carefully glanced around. “He’s gone,” his mother then said, completely out of nowhere. “His mother called earlier, Yuuri. He wanted to ask if we could take him in. If you were okay with it.” Yuuri’s expression quickly morphed into unrestrained shock and disbelief. “W-why?”, was the only thing Yuuri stammered out. His mother sighed, taking a small sip of her tea. “I’m not sure about that. She only said something about them going abroad for a while. But isn’t that nice? I thought you liked him so much.”

“Yeah, whatever…,” Yuuri mumbled, “When will he move in?” Hiroko smiled at him, completely oblivious to his inner turmoil. “In three weeks, we have to get a room ready for him! Ah, he’s also bringing his dog! There’s so much to prepare I don’t know where to start!” She happily cheered, leaving Yuuri behind on the sofa. _What just happened?_

 **To _Phichit:_** Viktor is moving in with us.

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** what

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_**  Ill be there in 5

 

“Tell me everything,” Phichit heaved as he reached Yuuri’s room, gaping for air. “Did you… run all the way here?” Yuuri asked, suppressing a small smile despite the circumstance. “Maybe. But that’s not the point.”

Sitting down with a sigh, Yuuri explained every little detail.

“… and so my mother told me he will move in with us in three weeks. He’s also bringing Makkachin, can you believe that?”

“Wow, Yuuri, that is huge! Go get your man!“ Phichit exclaimed with a bright smile. That did little to help Yuuri’s worries. “But he hates me, Phichit! And you know he does, you were there after all,” Yuuri mumbled. “You don’t know that. Maybe he was having a bad day? You can never know what’s going in other people’s minds,” Phichit then said in a much more serious tone.

“I don’t want him to hate me,” Yuuri whispered, a choked sob following his words.

Only when Phichit’s arms enclosed around him did Yuuri let the tears fall freely.

 

The day of Viktor’s move was coming closer, and Yuuri didn’t know how to handle the growing tension. His parents were acting as if they’d adopted Viktor, Mari was nowhere to be seen and Vicchan seemed to feel the upcoming event as well. Viktor’s room was fully furnished now, his mother took it upon herself to make the Russian’s stay as pleasant as possible. They also got a bowl for Makkachin and a large dog bed right next to Vicchan’s even though they knew Viktor most certainly had his own.

For Yuuri, the end of his carefree teenage days was coming near. He could live with his hopeless crush, far away from Viktor.

He couldn’t live with his hopeless crush in the same house as Viktor.

 

Three days before Viktor was scheduled to move in, Yuuri searched the internet for available apartments that allowed dogs. His mother wasn’t amused. She still didn’t seem to understand where Yuuri’s uncertainty came from, neither did she realize Yuuri’s feeling towards their soon-to-be family member. Yuuri couldn’t really blame her– he never talked to her about Viktor, not even once.

Phichit and Yuuko were pretty much the only people who knew, the only ones who unconditionally supported him. And while he was eternally grateful for having them by his side, he wished he could rely on his mother’s support as well. But telling her now was probably not the best idea, as she was way too excited for Viktor’s arrival. Yuuri didn’t want her to have mixed feelings about it suddenly. It was best to let her be her own judge.

 

It was Saturday, Viktor would arrive in less than twenty minutes and Yuuri was having a crisis.

His thoughts were raging, battling in his head. The good against the bad, and for now, it seemed as if the bad ones were winning. Hiroko was currently walking around the house for the very last check-up. If Yuuri had the chance, he would hide under his blanket for the next who-knows-how-many-months, or even years. Never having to face Viktor again seemed pleasant enough in his dire situation.

His panic increased when the doorbell rang.

Holding his breath, Yuuri counted the seconds until his mother would call him downstairs to greet Viktor. They had planned it perfectly, Yuuri would show him around the house, show him the countless ways to get to the garden, where he could store Makkachin’s food, when dinner times were, and, finally, he would end the tour by showing Viktor to his room. After that, he would presumably run back to his room, crawl back under the covers, and hide there for the rest of the day.

 

54,

 

55,

 

56,

 

“Yuuri, would you come downstairs, please?”

Sighing, Yuuri slowly, carefully crept out of his bed that was more like a shelter to him, really. He could already see two huge bags and a pair of shoes that probably cost more than what he got in three months as he walked down the steps. He could hear a soft bark from Vicchan, followed by a louder bark by Makkachin.

At least Vicchan would have a new friend.

“Welcome, Viktor,” Yuuri greeted the other boy, not daring to meet his eyes. “Would you like me to show you around?”

“That would be lovely, thanks,” came a strained reply. And even though Yuuri wasn’t looking at Viktor’s face, he knew that the other boy was trying his best to force a smile. From the corner of his eyes, he saw his father carrying away Viktor’s suitcase.

The tour was short, Yuuri only spoke when it was absolutely necessary. He made sure to tell Viktor everything he had to know. Yuuri doesn’t quite know what he expected, but Viktor saying nothing, like _at all_ , wasn’t what he had in mind. It was only at the end that he was met with a cold ‘thanks’ from Viktor as they reached his room. Just as Yuuri was about to close the door behind him, he saw Viktor carefully settle down on his bed, straightening the covers a bit.

The door closed with a soft thud.

 

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” Yuuri later admitted while skyping with Yuuko. “I don’t know, really, I guess I just hoped that something else would happen.” Yuuko was looking at him, a weird look on her face. “What exactly do you mean by ‘something else’?”

“Um… well, I guess that a small part of me just hoped for a miracle. That Viktor would miraculously be nice to me, you know?” Yuuri replied, uncertain. Yuuko didn’t really seem to understand. Instead of replying, she rested her head on her hand and simply stared at him.

“Give him time, Yuuri.” Was the only thing she said.

And Yuuri tried, really. But giving someone you’ve secretly had a crush on for over two years even more time was hard. Yuuri didn’t know what it was that made Viktor hate him. He didn’t know if he was just trying to be nice, back then.

It was interesting to watch, honestly. How much Yuuri’s behaviour changed after just three days. How he stopped to listen for any noises outside the door before opening it, how he looked around for any signs of an unwanted company before entering the garden. It may look like a game, of some sorts. But for Yuuri, it was unforgiving reality. He wanted to avoid Viktor at any cost. He didn’t want to see those dark, blue eyes glare at him again. According to his mother, Viktor was settling in just fine.

“He’s such a nice boy!”, she had cheered after knowing Viktor for barely two hours.

 

* * *

 

 

It was Monday morning. Yuuri was lying in bed, counting down the seconds until his alarm would ring through the room. Today was the first day Viktor and he would go to school together.

Well, together wasn’t exactly right.

Viktor had long since left by the time Yuuri dragged himself out of bed. Entering the kitchen, his mother’s singing was the first thing that greeted his ears. As soon as she spotted him, a cheery smile found its way on her face, “Good morning, Yuuri!” Yuuri smiled, petting Vicchan’s soft ears, that seemed way too-

“Oh, Makkachin,” he mumbled, smiling down at the poodle. “Oh, Yuuri, could you please give Viktor his bento? He forgot to put it in his bag earlier,” Hiroko asked, handing him the box. “Yeah, sure,” Yuuri replied.

On his way to school, he simply tried not to think about it too much.

When Yuuri got to Viktor’s classroom, he wasn’t surprised to find him there. He was leaning against the door, eyes trained on the book in his hands. Only when Yuuri announced himself with a small cough did Viktor look up. His expression was unreadable. “Hi, um. You forgot your bento at home, so...,” Yuuri mumbled, self-consciously keeping his head down. When he dared to look up, he was met with Viktor’s surprised expression. He said nothing for a long time. Discouraged, Yuuri turned around slowly.

He didn’t hear the small, barely audible ‘thanks’.

 

“And how’s living with Viktor so far?” Yuuko asked as they sat on one of the few benches on their school yard. “I don’t know. We rarely meet, and when we do, he usually just ignores me,” Yuuri said, thinking back to the past week. “You could walk the dogs together,” Yuuko then suggested. It wasn’t something Yuuri hasn’t already considered, but it just felt as if the right moment hadn’t been there yet.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll ask him sometime,” Yuuri mumbled.

 

It was Saturday, Yuuri was given the misfortune of waking up early without being able to fall back asleep. After nearly twenty minutes of arguing with himself whether he should get up, he decided to just give in to his fate. The sun hasn’t risen yet, and Yuuri had to wind his way through the dark, quiet halls. Reaching the kitchen, the first thing that greeted him was Vicchan’s and Makkachin’s excited barks. Two pairs of big, brown eyes stared up at him in anticipation. Sighing, Yuuri granted them their wish of an early feed.

Looking through all the shelves, he figured that his mother must have put them in the upper cupboards again. He turned around to grab for a chair when he suddenly collided with someone else’s chest. Yuuri quickly staggered back as their eyes connected.

Somehow, fate must have continued playing cruel tricks on him.

Yuuri felt ready to faint as Viktor Nikiforov stood in front of him, eyes resembling what Yuuri felt inside. Instead of an evil glare, however, Viktor’s eyes darted between the dogs and Yuuri. “Ah, let me help you with that,” Viktor offered, obviously having made the connection. He reached for the cupboard and handed two empty bowls over to Yuuri, who couldn’t do more than stare at the scene. “Um, thanks,” he then murmured, flinching at the crack of his voice.

A few seconds passed, and while Yuuri’s arms still wouldn’t obey, Viktor reached for the containers of dog food himself. Yuuri placed the bowls next to him on the counter, strictly avoiding looking into Viktor’s eyes.

In his peripheral vision, he saw Viktor crouching down to place the bowls in front of their dogs. He lovingly stroked the poodle’s heads, upon seeing that, Yuuri couldn’t help the small smile creeping on his face. It was obvious that Viktor loved his poodle, but seeing the two so close made Yuuri’s heart burst with affection. “You like that, don’t you, Winnie?” If anybody would have told him that Viktor would live with him a few months ago, he doubted he’d actually believed it.

The minutes passed by, and Viktor finally seemed to realize that he was being watched. He slowly tilted his head sideways, meeting Yuuri’s eyes in the process. “What?” he asked, an annoyed expression now visible on his face. Embarrassed, Yuuri staggered back. “I, um,” he started, but was quickly interrupted by Viktor’s even more annoyed voice.

“You must think how pathetic I am,” Viktor started, voice dropping to a dangerously low level, “ _The_ Viktor Nikiforov, stuck in this place while he could have everything with a single snap of his finger.”

“W-what?” Yuuri stammered, unable to process what was happening. “Silence!” Viktor then yelled, “I know what you are, Yuuri Katsuki. And I know exactly what you want.” Yuuri’s eyes widened in shock. His mouth opened, just to close again. The surrounding atmosphere was unbearable, thick with dread.

“Why?” Was the only thing he said, “Why do you hate me so much?”

Viktor said nothing. He looked at Yuuri for a few seconds longer, eyes dangerously dark, before he turned around. The door falling into the lock was the only noise that followed Viktor’s disappearance.

Shaking, Yuuri crouched down to pet Vicchan’s head. His breath came in short, ragged gasps.

 _What just happened?_  

 

* * *

 

 

When Yuuri woke up in the morning, it was to the cheerful chatter of his parents coming from downstairs. He tried to recollect his memories of the previous day and immediately regretted his decision. All the reminiscences came flooding back to him, drowning him in their oppressive intensity.

Yuuri got up hesitantly, not wanting to face Viktor again. What caused Viktor to think that way?

Yuuri got dressed and joined his family–and Viktor–at the table. His mother seemed to beam with happiness; his father wore a delightful smile as well. Even Viktor, whose smile Yuuri had only ever seen once, was smiling as their conversation carried on. It vanished as soon as Viktor spotted Yuuri.

“Good morning, Yuuri,” Hiroko said gently, her eyes sparkling with unspoken joy. Yuuri looked at Viktor–truly looked at Viktor–and found him looking back at him with an indefinable expression. Yuuri felt his cheeks redden as Viktor cautiously eyed him. He lowered his head to stare at the bowl of cereals in front of him and couldn’t help but wonder if Viktor somehow felt guilty for his actions last night.

After they finished, both of them got up, grabbed their bags, and headed for the door. They bid their goodbyes to the rest of the family and left for school. While they were walking, Yuuri couldn’t help but wonder. Viktor seemed distant, somehow, like he wasn’t fully present. _Could he be thinking about last night?_ Yuuri certainly was, and he doubted he would forget the way he glared at him for a while.

The walk to the station was spent in uncomfortable silence, as was the walk to school. Yuuri couldn’t bring himself to overcome his nerves and ask Viktor about the previous day, scolding himself for wasting such an opportunity. And so it happened that the Japanese gathered all of his courage and---

“Viktor!“ Yuuri yelled. The Russian male stopped in his tracks and ever so slowly turned around, glaring at Yuuri. His eyes were similar to the way they looked the day before. A few girls passed them, giggling at Viktor, who had put on his signature ~~fake~~ smile. As soon as the group was out of sight, he took hold of Yuuri and dragged him through the halls to a less crowded place.

“Don’t. Talk. To. Me,” Viktor stated through clenched teeth.

Yuuri couldn’t stop himself anymore. He could no longer contain his anger, confusion, and hurt. He took in a deep, steady breath and raised his voice once again.

“Why are you like that? Why do you keep lying to everyone?! How can you still pretend to be that perfect, golden boy when you clearly aren’t? I don’t know what’s bothering you nor what it is that makes you hate me so much, but all I want IS TO BE YOUR FRIEND!“ Yuuri choked out, his voice slowly fading out.

And Viktor looked at him. Again, he didn’t answer; he just looked at him.

The silence that enveloped them was unbearable.

“Perhaps not even I know how to be myself anymore.”

“What do you mean?“ Yuuri asked with all his confidence perished, keeping his eyes locked with the ground. “Sometimes everyone’s expectations just get too much. Everyone knows the smart, charming Viktor but who knows the real me? Who wants to know what my weaknesses are, who wants to know what subjects I secretly dislike? Who likes me for who I truly am? Who wants to spend time with me not just for the attention and stunned reactions they’ll receive when they tell their friends?” Viktor’s reply was unexpected, sudden, and overwhelming.

Yuuri didn’t know how he could possibly respond to that. His mouth repeatedly opened just to close again. He knew that being the most popular could be a burden, but he hadn’t expected Viktor’s life to be so strained, crushing even. “I- I didn’t know that,” Yuuri replied, now even more embarrassed with his previous outburst.

“It’s important to let your eyes see what’s right in front of them, not what you’d like them to see.” Viktor then responded with a now hoarse voice. He didn’t seem angry, nor did he seem particularly upset.

Out of nowhere, Viktor’s voice rang through the quiet hall again. “Why did you never text me?”

Yuuri’s eyes widened drastically at Viktor’s statement. “I texted you, but you never texted back!” Yuuri said, his voice at least an octave higher. “What?” came Viktor’s stunned reply. “But.. I never received your message.”

Without thinking, Yuuri grabbed his phone, opened his archived chat with Viktor, and handed it over. Viktor looked at it for a few seconds, eyes scanning the display before taking out his own phone. He copied Yuuri’s move and showed him his chats, no trace of Yuuri to be seen. “Huh?” Yuuri whispered, eyes darting between both their phones.

“You typed in a wrong number,” Viktor then stated, “it’s a six, not a zero.”

“But... But I checked it countless times!” Yuuri argued, voice high with disbelief. He wanted to argue further, find out whose fault it was, but Viktor’s laugh convinced him to do otherwise. “V-Viktor! This is serious!”

But Viktor only continued laughing. “Don’t you think it’s weird? I thought you were pulling a joke on me!” Yuuri didn’t find the situation nearly as funny as Viktor did. He could only think back to all the times he spent asking himself what he did wrong. “I thought you hated me,” Yuuri then said. “I thought _you fooled me_.”

Viktor’s smile fell at that. “I’m sorry, Yuuri. How can I make it up to you?”

Yuuri quickly shook his head. “I don’t want you to do anything, Viktor. I just want you to be you,” Yuuri replied softly. Yuuri would never forget the expression that followed his statement.

 

They met again, shortly before the next classes started. “I’m sorry, Viktor. About what I said earlier. I shouldn’t have said that,” Yuuri whispered in shame.

“Don’t apologise,” Viktor said, “You’re right- I didn’t want to admit it, but… I shouldn’t have been so mean to you, no matter what happened. You know, back then, I thought I had finally found a friend. I was so disappointed when I didn’t receive your message. I convinced myself that you were just like everyone else.” And somehow, Yuuri felt the tension around them lessen. The Japanese looked at Viktor and found the other looking back. It was different from the look he gave him that morning, different from the glare he was usually used to, different from the dull expression he couldn’t forget. He seemed way more serene, relieved even.

“I thought you didn’t want to have anything to do with someone as uninteresting as me,” Yuuri admitted. A soft laugh escaped his lips.

After saying their goodbyes, Viktor turned around to leave for his classes when Yuuri grabbed his sleeve. It was now or never. “Viktor,” he stuttered, heat rising to his cheeks. “Would you want to walk the dogs together sometime?”

And it may seem ridiculous to some people. But for Yuuri, it meant more than he could put into words. Walking the dogs together was something he dreamt of doing ever since the day Viktor and he met at the park. Asking him now seemed like a good plan to start over.

A small, barely noticeable smile was tugging at Viktor’s lips before his mouth formed his answer. “Sure, I love Vicchan.”

... Vicchan?

_Oh God._

 “You..  you know,” Yuuri whispered in shame. Viktor only sighed. “Of course I know. Your mother calls him Vicchan all the time.” Unable to say anything, Yuuri hid his face in his hands. “I’m sorry,” he then says, silently.

“Don’t be,” Viktor says, a soft smile back on his face. “To be honest, I didn’t even remember his name at the beginning.”

Yuuri smiled, relief flooding through him.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning arrived. And for the first time since Viktor’s arrival, he didn’t feel the crushing weight of dread settling in his stomach. As Yuuri joined his parents at the breakfast table, he immediately noticed Viktor’s smile that was now directed at him. Warmth blossomed in his stomach, and he could feel a soft shade of red tinging his cheeks. _Was this really happening?_

“Oh, Yuuri. Grandma called earlier this morning. She isn’t feeling well. Papa and I will leave to visit her later today, so you and Vicchan will be alone for a few days,” Hiroko informed him, smiling sadly.

After bidding his parents goodbye, Yuuri and Viktor stood at the entrance of their home, facing each other. Makkachin and Vicchan stood behind them, wagging their tales. “I think it’s time for Makka’s walk,” Viktor said. “Would you join me?”

Yuuri agreed, without a second’s thought. And so they were walking through the woods, accompanied by the sun’s rays shining through the leaves. “I was so glad they got along. Makkachin didn’t have many friends back home,” Viktor said. “But he was always there for me. I can’t imagine my life without him.”

“We don’t deserve dogs,” Yuuri said. Smiling at the two poodles. “We truly don’t,” Viktor said, “but I’m glad I have been granted the privilege of having one by my side.”

“Tell me something about you, Yuuri,” Viktor said, seemingly out of nowhere. “What?” Yuuri asked. “Where did you grow up? What do you like to do? Is there someone you love?” Viktor replied, sounding genuinely interested.

“Um…, I grew up in a small town by the sea, Hasetsu. There was a dance studio and an ice rink I used sometimes. But they had to close, eventually. We moved not long after that,” Yuuri explained, thinking back to his younger days. “And?” came Viktor’s voice, “Is there someone you love?”

“N-no comment..,” Yuuri stuttered. Viktor’s eyes flashed with unspoken glee for a moment. “Hm, let me tell you something about me, then. My first relationship was with my best friend. We were immature, back then, so we gave it a try. It didn’t work out, obviously, so now-,”

“Stop,” Yuuri mumbled, embarrassed by the sudden pang of jealousy. Viktor, luckily, didn’t seem to mind. “Sorry, sorry,” he chuckled, “I think we should do this more often from now on. As we are living together, we should start to get to know each other more.”

Yuuri nodded, tightening his jacket around him. “Are you cold?” Viktor then asked. He wore his designer trench coat open, a pair of soft, black gloves accompanying his look. “Yeah,” Yuuri whispered, teeth clattering slightly. “Wow, back home in Russia we would probably declare this day to the unofficial beginning of summer,” he said, “should we head back?” And while Yuuri was genuinely enjoying the moment, he scolded himself for not dressing more suitably. He felt like he was ruining it completely.

He stopped when he felt Viktor drape his coat over his shoulders. “V-Viktor?” Yuuri questioned, stunned.

Just a few days ago, they were practically strangers, enemies, if not even. Everything was happening so fast, and Yuuri didn’t know if he wasn’t just dreaming anymore.

They got home around forty minutes later, talking about everything that entered their minds. Talking to Viktor seemed so easy now. And Yuuri felt as if a whole new person moved in with him.

If this was a dream, Yuuri didn’t want to wake up from it.

 

* * *

 

 

Staring out the window, Yuuri couldn’t help but wonder where Viktor was. His parents wouldn’t be home till Friday, so Yuuri was in charge of their house. The sun was setting, and Yuuri slowly started to worry. Viktor has left the house eight hours ago, assuring him he would be back soon.

Yuuri held his phone in his hand, Viktor’s corrected phone number on display. _What would he think if I called him?_

Gathering his courage, Yuuri pressed ‘call’.

The seconds passed by, but nothing happened. “Maybe he didn’t hear it,” Yuuri whispered to himself. The call went to voicemail, and before he could stop himself, he started speaking.

“Hey, um. It’s Yuuri. I was just wondering where you were, and.. obviously you aren’t available to talk right now, but.. please call when you are,” Yuuri mumbled, staring at the empty entrance way.

He called Viktor again, with the same result. His worry slowly morphed into panic, his mind going through all possibilities what could have happened to Viktor. He sat by the window now, Makkachin and Vicchan by his side. It was completely dark out. Yuuri decided to call his mother, just in case Viktor told her anything.

“moshimoshi,” came Hiroko’s familiar voice through the phone. Yuuri smiled softly, “Hello, Mum. It’s Yuuri.”

“Yuuri! I’m glad you called! How are you and Viktor?” She asked. “I’m fine, but actually, Viktor is the reason I called you in the first place,” Yuuri replied, trying not to show too much of his worry. He didn’t want to upset his mother. “Vicchan? Is he okay?” she asked, worried. “He left this morning. I don’t know where he is… he isn’t home yet,” Yuuri informed her. He heard rustling in the background, and then his mother’s voice rang through the phone once more. “Call the police if he doesn’t come home soon. I have to hang up now, sweetheart, but please don’t worry too much. I’m sure he’s fine. I love you.”

“I will. And love you, too,” Yuuri said before hanging up.

The minutes ticked by with no sign of Viktor. Makkachin whined, and when not even his pets stopped the poodle from doing so, Yuuri decided to go search for Viktor himself. It was foolish, he knew, he should probably just call the police, but he couldn’t just sit here and wait anymore.

He grabbed Makka’s leash and harness, said goodbye to Vicchan, and walked out the door. The cold night air engulfed him as soon as he stepped out into the dark. The streets were devoid of any life, not a single soul could be seen at this time of night. The neighbourhood was naturally quiet, but seeing it like this sends chills over his skin.

After a few more minutes of walking, Yuuri crouched down to pet Makkachin’s fluffy head. “Where is he, boy?” he asked, irrationally hoping for an answer. He hid his face in his soft fur. From the corner of his eye, he saw a dark, tall figure walking towards them. Yuuri stood up rapidly, pulling Makkachin behind him. He felt his pulse fasten as the figure constantly got closer.

Yuuri’s eyes widened as the figure passed a street lamp, the colour of his hair now visible. Relief surged through Yuuri, and he finally released the breath he didn’t realise he was holding.

“Viktor!” he called, accompanied by Makkachin’s excited bark. Viktor was now standing only a few feet away from him, his usually perfectly combed hair dishevelled and cheeks tinged red. It didn’t take much to see that Viktor was drunk.

“Yuuuuri!” he slurred, a heart-shaped smile appearing on his face. Unexpectedly, Viktor threw his arms around Yuuri, pulling him close. Yuuri felt his breath hitch in his throat. “V-Viktor! You’re drunk!” he then stated the obvious. Viktor laughed in response. “I’m Russian, I don’t do drunk.”

Yuuri only rolled his eyes, pulling away from Viktor. “Let’s get home. Makkachin missed you.”

“Oh, Makka is here too!” Viktor cheered, trying to keep his balance as he leaned down to hug the poodle. “Did _you_ miss me?” Yuuri didn’t react at first, as he thought that the question was directed at the dog next to him. “Yuuuri? Did _you_ miss me?” he asked again. “Yeah,” he blurted out. Clapping a hand over his mouth as soon as the words left it.

Viktor smiled, getting up to hug Yuuri again. “I missed you, too. My Yuuri~!”

Yuuri felt ready to pass out at Viktor’s words. He inhaled slowly before pulling softly on the sleeve of Viktor’s trench coat, guiding him home.

Despite Viktor’s unwillingness to go home, Yuuri somehow managed to drag him there. The Russian was now protesting on the coach, begging for attention. “Yeah, he’s okay,” Yuuri assured his mother over the phone while Viktor’s excited voice could be heard in the background. “I’ll tell him tomorrow, okay? Love you, Mom.”

“Yuuuri! Come here!” Viktor pleaded. “I’m cold!”

Sighing, Yuuri turned around. “I’ll get you a blanket.” A soft thud, presumably the blanket Viktor already had hitting the floor, followed by two strong arms engulfing him. “I don’t want another blanket, Yuuri...,” he whispered, voice unexpectedly deep, “I want you.”

“V-Viktor! You’re drunk, stop it! You’re going to bed now!” Yuuri stated. While Viktor didn’t seem at all happy with the situation, he reluctantly retreated his arms. Pouting, Viktor followed Yuuri to his bedroom. As soon as they reached his room, Yuuri stopped in the threshold and pointed to the bed. “In, now,” he ordered.

Surprisingly, Viktor did as he was told. He removed his shoes and climbed in his bed. After pulling the blanket up, he stared at Yuuri with a pleading look. “Stay?” he asked.

Yuuri felt his hands star to sweat. _He’s drunk, Yuuri. Don’t you dare get wrong ideas._ Viktor probably wouldn’t remember any of this the next day, but still, Yuuri didn’t know what to do. “I wish I could,” he whispered and left the room.

He didn’t look back to see Viktor staring after him.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning came way too quickly. After Yuuri walked and fed the dogs, he decided to check on Viktor, whom he still hadn’t seen since last night. He walked up to his room with a glass of water and aspirin in hand.

Checking on Viktor, as it later turned out, wasn’t as easy as Yuuri thought. He had been standing in front of Viktor’s door for about twenty minutes, retreating his hand every time he reached for the door. He truly, honestly wished for someone to end his silent suffering. Why was this so hard? Viktor was either awake or asleep, and Yuuri definitely knew what he preferred. After all, it might be that Viktor remembered what happened.

Yuuri didn’t know what he would do if that were the case. Run, probably. Or hide in a corner for the rest of his miserable life. Or both.

After many more words of unvoiced encouragement, Yuuri felt mentally prepared enough to overcome his fears and knocked on the door. The seconds ticked by with no response to be heard. Yuuri opened the door, carefully peeking through the small gap. Viktor’s room was dark, illuminated only by the small ray of light that shone through the gap, protruding Viktor’s beautiful features.

Yuuri could spend hours just looking at the small part of Viktor that was visible. His platinum hair covered most of his face, but his beautiful, sparkling blue eyes were sti--- wait, what?

Yuuri shrieked after realizing that the other boy was indeed very much awake, withdrawing from the devilish grin coming from Viktor Nikiforov. He stood up, getting closer and closer until he was standing right in front of Yuuri, taking his hand and kneeling down, dragging the Japanese with him. Yuuri felt his heartbeat quicken. Viktor slowly reached out to take hold of Yuuri’s other hand, holding it tightly for a second before moving on to his cheeks, his lips---

“Vi---Viktor!! I definitely think we should have a wholesome relationship before we do…. this!“ Yuuri’s voice was high-pitched, stained with confusion and disbelief.

Again, Yuuri wasn’t prepared for what happened after. Viktor let go of Yuuri to clutch his stomach, tears of laughter welling in his eyes. Yuuri felt the cold fangs of humiliation embrace him, completely giving in to the all too familiar feeling. Was that… disappointment settling in his chest? It couldn’t be, could it? But after two years of experience, Yuuri could easily make out any traces of disappointment, regret, frustration, defeat… long story short; the list was endless.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It’s been two weeks and three days ever since it happened. Yuuri refused to let his thoughts wander back to the ‘incident’ he considered one of his most humiliating, so far. Viktor seemed completely oblivious to it, as he kept talking to Yuuri like nothing happened. Yuuri still had nightmares from the way Viktor had looked at him. Their friendship was progressing, they talked more and more each day but somehow, Yuuri wanted more. He wanted them to be more, just like he did from the beginning on.

Viktor was a lot to take in– and being friends with him was a huge privilege, Yuuri knew that. But his foolish mind couldn’t stay away from the thoughts of them being more than just friends. They never talked about the day Yuuri found Viktor drunk, and Yuuri was feeling hope gather in his chest.

But their days weren’t exactly eventful, quite the opposite, really, they got up in the mornings, went to school, sometimes Yuuri would reach Viktor in time so they could go home together, had dinner and went to bed again. It became a daily routine for both of them and Yuuri didn’t like it at all. They would talk in between, sometimes walk the dogs together. They would sit next to each other on the couch, watch movies together and laugh now and then.

But for Yuuri, it was a rollercoaster of feelings. His hopeless crush was resurfacing, coming back full force, and Yuuri could do nothing to stop it. Viktor has taken over his life.

The Japanese was sitting in his room, staring at some posters of his former favourite TV show, thinking back to the time he hadn’t even known what love was. How he yearned for the times he was carefree, where he hadn’t had to worry about grades, qualifications and exams. He would wake up in the morning with an everlasting sense of freedom radiating in every part of his body.

And now, here he was, unable to get this one boy out of his head, even living under the same roof as him. They only had one year of Highschool left before they would apply for jobs or university and Yuuri felt insecure, unsteady on his path of life that would hopefully one day guide him to the love he had always hoped for.

The days seemed to stretch by, sometimes Yuuri could catch nothing but a glimpse of Viktor. The other boy was clearly occupied with something, though Yuuri couldn’t fathom out what it was. At times he would randomly pace in the living room, Yuuri even caught him sitting in the garden, staring at the starry sky in the middle of the night.

Yuuri desperately wanted to help him find a solution for whatever problem he was struggling with.

There were only two days left until the summer holidays would start, all exams were done and the exhausted yet relieved students were visibly preparing for the much-needed break.

 

It was Thursday, Yuuri was still lying in bed, thinking of ways to approach Viktor without seeming too direct. Would it even be okay to just ask him? Maybe there wasn’t even anything wrong with Viktor and pacing in the living room or staring at the sky in the middle of the night was just his way of getting prepared for many weeks without school. Again, Yuuri couldn’t put his finger on what to do. He tried talking to Viktor before, but he only brushed it off with his naturally affectionate and clingy nature.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Slowly, carefully, Yuuri made his way through the cheering crowd. The bright lights of the stage enclosed him with its welcoming warmth. The audience was fading out, becoming blurrier by each passing second. Yuuri took one last glance at them when suddenly the door burst open, revealing none other than Viktor Nikiforov himself. “Yuuri, my love! How glad I am to have reached you in time.” It seemed like a marvellous scene of a play, unreal yet so, so very much plausible because love conquers all----_

Yuuri woke up with a smile on his lips, feeling blessed by such a wonderful, wonderful dream he was sure he hadn’t had before. It seemed like he had fallen asleep again, praising the natural process for saving him from his earlier misery.

He contentedly tilted his head to the left, looking at his alarm to see how much time he had left-

When he realized that he should have left the house thirty minutes ago. Taking back all his prior thanks, Yuuri nothing but jumped out of bed, sprinted towards the bathroom, got ready in record time and- what was Viktor still doing here?

Why was he still wearing his Pyjamas?

Why was he…

“V-Viktor, we’re late already… Why are you not dressed?“ Yuuri whispered, distracted by the water dripping from Viktor’s angelic features, emphasized by the suns’ rays shining through the window, he looked otherworldly like this, like a beacon of beauty, smiling at hi—

Waking up twice from a dream too good to be true wasn’t the best way to start the day. Yuuri groaned and sluggishly got out of bed, again heading for the bathroom. Unlike in his dream, he wasn’t actually late, which meant that he would have some new opportunities to talk to Viktor.

They were all gathered around the table, chatting wildly over topics that weren’t of any interest to Yuuri. He spotted Viktor right next to his mother. This time, surprisingly, Viktor wasn’t talking to anyone. He just sat there, eating his breakfast. Yuuri sat next to him, settling on the ground with only a few inches between them. Viktor didn’t seem to mind; he just continued eating his breakfast.

“Today’s that Sports Festival, right? What are you taking part in?”, Hiroko then asked, smiling as brightly as ever. “Well, I’m in the boys-girls mixed relay and the borrowing race..,” Yuuri responded with an all too familiar tension settling deep in his stomach. Hiroko nodded and then turned to look at Viktor. “What about you, Vicchan?”

The Russian looked up to meet Hiroko’s eyes and replied “The hundred meter and the mixed relay.” _‘So we will compete in the same race…’_ Yuuri thought to himself. And while the thought of them competing together seemed thrilling, competing against each other didn’t.

 

* * *

 

 

Each class was given its own podium. The grounds were bustling with life. A vibrant, throbbing force hauling through the stands and crowds. The battle cries were drowning out all other noises, roaring in every corner.

It was almost time for the borrowing race. Yuuri secured his headband and got ready for the start. _‘Please’,_ he thought, ‘ _let me get something easy.’_

Yuuri was running as fast as he could, choosing the first piece of paper that came within his reach. He quickly unfolded it and read what was written on it. And in that very moment, Yuuri was sure to have felt all the blood drain from his face.

_‘The person you love’_

Yuuri looked up to find the stand of his family; posters were plastered all around the small space they had. He spotted his mother with her camera, Mari looking ready to chop someone’s head off and his father sitting in one of the foldable chairs they’d brought from home. Viktor was watching him.

‘The person I love…’

Yuuri was struggling with himself, unsure of what his next move should be. Yuuri felt ready to curse whoever decided it was a good idea to come up with such a personal task. He took several breaths before taking off, straight towards his families’ stand.

Yuuri was focussing on Viktor, everything else fading out. Viktor was constantly coming nearer, nearer, nearer…

As soon as he came within Yuuri’s reach, the boy took hold of his hand and dragged him towards the finish line. Yuuri inwardly beamed with joy, wanting to soak in the feeling of their hands intertwined. He only ever had the privilege of holding hands with Viktor once, and the other probably didn’t even remember.

They came in second, just a few seconds behind Phichit, who was dragging a terrified looking kid along. Apparently, Yuuri wasn’t the only one who got a questionable task.

It was almost time for the hundred meter, Yuuri was watching Viktor putting on his headband, noting to himself that he definitely had to ask his mother for pictures once they got home. “Good luck, Viktor. I’m sure you’ll do just fine.” Viktor raised his head to look at him, smiling gently before heading off.

To no one’s surprise, Viktor came in first, looking absolutely breath-taking as he crossed the line.

The last event of the day was the mixed relay in which both Yuuri and Viktor would take part. Viktor was the last to run whilst Yuuri was in first, handing over the baton as quickly as he could. As soon as Georgi had taken off, Yuuri headed for the finish line to watch Viktor.

Viktor and Georgi were constantly overtaking each other, like a duel. One second Viktor was first, the next it was Georgi. It was a close call. Viktor had passed Georgi and was now aiming for the line, coming closer at a fast pace.

Suddenly, Yuuri felt someone shift behind him, pushing him directly on the track. He hit the ground face first with a thud; the pain shot through him like an arrow of fire and ember. He could hear someone yelling his name, was it Viktor? Was Viktor not pleased with him..?

Completely out of a sudden, something landed on him, increasing the pain to the point where it got unbearable. His vision was slowly fading out, giving in to the suffocating pain shooting through him. Someone was calling his name… the words were like a lullaby, neither sweet nor gentle, but slowly weighing Yuuri to sleep.

“Are you insan--Yuuri? **Yuuri!”**

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Someone was carrying him. Yuuri felt his head rest on something warm, a shoulder, maybe? He slowly opened his eyes, readjusting to the light of day. He found that he was indeed being carried by someone, though he couldn’t make out who it was from his position.  
The person smelled familiar, Yuuri wanted to cling on to that warm, acquainted fragrance. Was someone trying to get his attention? He tried focussing on the voice that was saying his name.

“Yuuri?”

No, it couldn’t be.

Could it?

Was it Viktor carrying him? Why did he sound so… different? His voice carried an unusual speck of melancholy, making his voice sound hoarse, worn-out… “Is this okay?“ Yuuri asked hoarsely. He felt himself shifted in Viktor’s arms, mentally preparing his legs to stand on their own again.

The seconds ticked by, but Viktor didn’t make another move of intending to set him down.

“Yeah,” was the only thing he said. Yuuri could now see Viktor’s troubled features, feeling guilty for putting that look on his face.

They reached the infirmary a few minutes later. Yuuri despised the strong smell of disinfectant and the plain white walls, even as a kid it always made him feel insecure. Viktor gently put him down before heading off to inform his parents. Yuuri didn’t want him to go, but no matter how hard he tried, his voice wouldn’t obey him. And so Viktor disappeared behind the corner, leaving him alone at the mercy of one of the nurses.

It didn’t take long for Viktor to come back, he must have ran all the way. He sat down across from Yuuri, avoiding to look in the other boys’ eyes. “I’m sorry, Viktor,” Yuuri muttered, his voice breaking through the uncomfortable silence. “Do you know what you do to me, Yuuri?“ Viktor uttered, “I saw him push you, you know? I wanted to stop but I couldn’t. When you didn’t move, I thought… I was so afraid that you-“ Viktor’s voice was cut off by a sob, small tears rolling down his cheeks. Yuuri slowly reached out to wipe the tears away,  
much to his surprise, Viktor leaned in to the touch.

Just as Viktor pulled him closer, they were interrupted by his mother’s worried call. Only a few seconds after, Hiroko came within view. “Oh, my boys!” she cooed, surging forwards to join their embrace. “Are you okay, Yuuri?” she then asked. “Yeah,” he replied, voice muffled by Viktor’s shoulder.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Viktor was drying his hair with a towel, knocking on Yuuri’s door. No reply came, but he decided to enter the room nonetheless. Yuuri was lying on his bed, curled in on himself. Viktor smiled softly, turning on his heel to exit the room again, when he spotted a letter lying next to Yuuri.

He moved forward, trying to make as little noise as possible, and grabbed the letter. His name was neatly written on top of it. The envelope had been opened already, so Viktor decided it was okay to read it; it was, after all, dedicated to him.

 

_Nice to meet you, Viktor Nikiforov._

  
_My name is Katsuki Yuuri._

_You probably never heard of me._

_But, I certainly heard of you._

_Ever since I first saw you, it’s been an unending chain of surprises._

_From the way you talk,_

_The way you look,_

_The way you smile,_

_The way you laugh,_

_To the way you hold yourself as if nothing out there could stop you_.

_I have no hopes of being more to you than a simple someone._

_But I hope that one day I can be more like you._

Some notes were gracefully written under it. Viktor could already hear the beautiful tune of a piano playing. The piece still had to be perfected, to be sharpened around the edges that were yet dull but not any less meaningful. Viktor could feel all the effort put into it. The song was not perfect, but for Viktor, it was mesmerizing in its own special way.

_This is a song my Grandma used to play to me when I was little._

_It reminds me of you._

_Thanks for aspiring me, Viktor._

* * *

 

 

Yuuri woke up in what felt like the middle of the night. His body was giving him sturdy signals that it was time for him to go use the bathroom. The Japanese got up, looked at the clock, and noted that it was three in the morning. He strolled to the bathroom, locked the door, and looked in the mirror. His hair was dishevelled, and he had dark bags under his eyes. ‘Well, I should probably get back into bed then.’

He had just reached his door when he thought he heard a piano playing in the living room. With his interest aroused, he went down the stairs. The tune got steadily louder, a beautiful melody, soothing his soul with its gentle, peaceful sounds.

The song changed into an all too familiar tune. Yuuri immediately recognized the rhythm of the song that was engraved in his heart. All the reminisces came flooding back. It may seem imperfect to others, but for Yuuri, it was warmth, love and gentleness. It was the song he grew up with; the song he spent so many hours listening to.

The way Viktor made it sound had an ethereal tinge to it, gratifying, extensive and so, so perfect in its own imperfect way.

And suddenly, it hit him. There was no way Viktor could know this song.

“You read the letter.”

The tune stopped. Viktor’s ocean-blue eyes locked with Yuuri’s hazel ones. He smiled, nodded and continued playing. “It reminds me of you.”

  
It continued, this time taking up in its pace. “At first you’d think it’s inconspicuous, nothing special.”

But when you keep listening, you realize that it’s special. You see the story it’s trying to tell. The effort put into it. Its true potential is still hiding behind in the shadows…”

Viktor just stopped talking. He closed his eyes and got to the highlight of the whole story, clearly obtaining the message and in reverse trying to deliver as much of it as possible. This part had always been Yuuri’s favourite. It reminded him of how much his life changed after he met Viktor. It reminded him of the time he was sure to have found life and love at last. In which he created dreams that he was sure he would conquer one day.

Dreams that were now unattainable. But being here with Viktor, listening to him playing this song, generated something deep within him, making him feel things he never felt before. The song came to an end, neither of them daring to speak. The atmosphere around them seemed almost magical.

It reminded Yuuri of the dream he once had, but this time, it wasn’t just a mere illusion formed in his mind. No, this time, it was true, and so, so perfect.

“It reminds me of a song I wrote a few years ago. No one’s ever heard it, you know?” Viktor said softly. “But I want you to listen to it.”

“I didn’t even know you played,” Yuuri then whispered gently. “Most people don’t,” Viktor replied. Yuuri smiled warmly and sat down next to Viktor, waiting for him to start playing. And when he did, Yuuri felt like space and time were moving, carrying him to another world. Yuuri felt caressed, lulled by the soft, peaceful tunes created by Viktor.

Yuuri didn’t realize the song had come to an end until Viktor gently nudged his side, nervously waiting for his judgement.

“I’d say it was wonderful, but…,” Yuuri saw Viktor’s face fall and quickly added “that would be nothing but an understatement.”

“What is it about?” Yuuri asked. “Loss,” Viktor replied, “and the finding.”

“That’s a good theme,” Yuuri mumbled, suppressing a yawn. “But Viktor?”

“Please teach me how to play,” Yuuri then mumbled, voice barely above a whisper. It was something he always wanted to do, ever since he first heard his Grandma play. By the time Viktor answered, he was already fast asleep on the Russian’s shoulder.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Viktor had been honestly surprised when he noticed Yuuri standing a few paces behind him. He didn’t expect the other boy to be awake at such an early hour. What surprised him even more was Yuuri asking him to teach him how to play the piano before falling asleep, leaning heavily against him with his head resting on his shoulder. He smiled softly to himself. He decided that it would be best to get him back to bed and scooped him up as carefully as he could.

Climbing the stairs with a sleeping Yuuri and meanwhile having to be incredibly careful as not to wake him up wasn’t exactly simple. Fortunately for both of them, Viktor had managed not to drop Yuuri and reached his room safely. Viktor laid Yuuri down on his bed, tugged him in and moved the letter to the desk. He smiled sadly, turned around and left. 

Sitting in school whilst everyone else was having fun was hard. Sitting in school whilst Viktor was hanging out with friends was even harder. Yuuri was glad to have at least a small part of his holidays not taken from him. There was still a lot he wanted to do. And yeah, 99,6% had something to do with Viktor. He just wanted to get this over with as fast as possible.

“Hey, Yuuri. We should hang out more once this is over,” Phichit told him, viciously typing something on his phone. “Yeah,” came Yuuri’s absent reply. Phichit looked up, grinning shamelessly. “This is about Viktor, right?” Yuuri could only roll his eyes at Phichit’s comment, though he had to admit it was true.

“Can you believe he’s actually having fun now? Spending time with his friends, enjoying life at its best, whereas we have to rot here?“ Yuuri complained, resting his head on the table in pure despair.

“Yuuri!” oh great, Georgi lecturing him was just what he needed. “Hi, Georgi,” Yuuri’s greeting was muffled due to his head still resting on the table.  
“Are you still pining over Valiant, Venus?“ Georgi tried to look deep in thought, but everyone knew he was just pretending. Of course Georgi knew the name of his biggest rival. “Huh, whatever his name is. You should yearn for me!”

Georgi was dramatically stretching out his left arm, holding the other right in front of his face. “I would never let you go!“ he cried, only deepening his gesture of heart-breaking misery.

“Why do I have to relive this gloomy rejection every day, Yuuri? When will you realize your true feelings for me?” Georgi wailed, clutching the spot where his heart is.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Luckily for Yuuri, the last classes of the day had just ended, leaving him free to go. He was confidently striding toward the gate, ready to embrace the last hours of his day. Much to his surprise, Viktor was leaning against one of the poles, wearing a navy-blue button-down shirt.

Yuuri quickened his pace, reaching Viktor just a few seconds after.

“Viktor? Why are you here?“ he asked, trying to hide his growing excitement. And yep, it was definitely a good choice to have hidden it, because Viktor was grinning cheekily, tugging a small note out of his bag.

“Your mother wanted me to accompany you to the dentist, so here I am.”

Well, great.

Just when he thought the day couldn’t get any worse, the clouds that had turned a deep shade of grey over the last few hours decided it was time to empty themselves. Neither Yuuri nor Viktor had brought an umbrella.

His teeth were okay but in all the distress, he forgot his bag in the waiting room.

Realizing it only long after the dentist had closed.

And said dentist wouldn’t open again for the next week because apparently the only dentist in service thought it necessary to go on vacation just then.

To say Yuuri was upset wouldn’t describe the true extent of his feelings. Outrage wouldn’t do the job, either.

It was 10 PM when Yuuri nothing but fell onto his bed. Too tired to crawl under the covers, he just laid there, thinking about the horrendous day he had just experienced. How could life possibly be so cruel? Had he already used up all of the fortune he was granted? Had simply  being happy been too much?

Yuuri groaned, shuffling into a more comfortable position. “Hang in there, Yuuri. Just a few more days and you’ll be free for a few days at least.” The Japanese tried to encourage himself. Failing miserably but luckily, sleep came and claimed him once again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Apparently, Yuuri did survive the last days of summer classes, as he was now lazing about in his room, enjoying the glorious feeling of just doing nothing. The screen of his phone lit up, History Maker echoing through the room as Phichit video-called him. He hummed along to the familiar tune of his favourite song before accepting the call, leaning his phone against his laptop.

He was greeted with Phichit’s cheerful face, waving enthusiastically before hastily taking off, clearly searching for something. He came back into view with a small, fluffy creature sitting on the palm of his hand. “Is he not the cutest hamster EVER?!“ he asked. Well, it didn’t exactly count as a question since Phichit wouldn’t accept anything else than ‘yes’, but Yuuri couldn’t disagree.

Yuuri nodded in acknowledgement, the hamster was indeed  extraordinarily cute. He had full, fluffy cheeks and bright, deep-brown eyes. Phichit started rambling, talking about how hamsters should be elected as king rather than humans, how desperately he wanted to be able to talk to them, well, everything related to hamsters, to put it short.

“By the way, do you want to come with us to the funfair tomorrow?” Phichit then asked. Yuuri honestly had to think about it for a few seconds. Giving up a blessed day of welcoming laziness or having to socialize at the funfair? He definitely knew what he would rather do, but he promised he would hang out with Phichit more, so…  
“Sure, who’s coming?“ Yuuri then wanted to know, trying to hide his displeasure. Phichit didn’t seem to notice, for his face lit up and he listed countless names he had never heard before.

They talked for a little more until they ended the call as it was time for Phichit to introduce his new companion to Seung-Gil, his best friend, who had just arrived at his house. Yuuri knew he probably shouldn’t complain about some well-needed company, but spending a whole day with people whose names Yuuri didn’t even know wasn’t the most appealing way to fill one of his last free days with.

He headed down the stairs to grab some juice, wanting to clear his head a little, as he practically bumped into Viktor. Viktor, apparently, had had the same train of thoughts, a glass of juice already in his hand. He smiled at Yuuri and made way for the other boy to pass through.

“Hey, Yuuri?” Viktor asked, just as Yuuri was about to leave again, “I thought… As tomorrow is the last day of the funfair… would you like to go there together? Have some fun?”

“Well, actually I wanted to go with Phichit, he asked me a few minutes ag--- Wait, no, no, no! I’d… I’d love to go to there with you. Phichit will understand! I wasn’t so keen on socializing anyway… but not that I only want to go because of that! I….” Yuuri knew he was rambling, but Viktor seemed to understand. “That’s good. See you later,” He laughed, waving to Yuuri as he turned around.

And if Yuuri was honest, he even looked forward to the following day. Only hoping for his luck to give him one last chance.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Dear Diary,_

_Viktor and I went to the funfair today._

_I’m so happy we did._

_Originally, it would have been Phichit, me and what probably would have felt like our whole school._

_Viktor and I spent the whole day together._

_He came knocking on my door in the morning, asking if I wanted to have breakfast together._

_I wonder what would have been, if we never knew the truth._

_I think we’ve talked more than we have in all the days Viktor lived with us combined._

_We left the house when the sun stood as high as my hopes; I was begging, praying for fate to let me spend a perfect day with Viktor._

_Just the two of us._

_When we reached the fair, people started staring at me._

_But I couldn’t care less, because Viktor was there, holding me steady._

_I always want to remember the way his face lit up whenever he spotted something new he wanted to try._

_The hours ticked by, but our happiness didn’t._

_In the end, the sun had just started to set, tinging the grounds in a bright, golden light._

_We were sitting on a bench, watching the ocean as it reflected the sun._

_It was magical, enchanting as we sat there, listening to the gulls’ cries._

_The birds’ songs._

_The waves crashing against the rocks,_

_Leaves rustled,_

_Dim music was playing in the distance, but Viktor and I could only focus on each other._

_Viktor’s eyes sparkled as he smiled his beautiful heart-shaped smile._

_And for a moment, I thought it would happen._

_But then Viktor was off, dragging me with him to the ocean._

_And by the time the sun had fully set, we would still be there._

 

 “Thanks for today,” Yuuri said gently as they reached his room. “I had a lot of fun.” Viktor smiled, for the hundredth time that day, and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. The house was completely still, the only audible noise their breathing. Yuuri could feel his racing heartbeat pounding in his chest. There was a soft tinge of pink on his cheeks, reminding of the exact moment he thought it was going to happen.

His happiness outweighed his disappointment, as he just wanted to let all the memories he’d gathered sink in and engrave in his soul forever. He never wanted to forget the way Viktor looked at him. Or the way he squeezed his hand whenever he got excited.

He never wanted to forget any of what happened. Viktor was softly staring at him, blue eyes visibly focused on his. “Good night,” he whispered.

His thoughts wouldn’t stop raging as he laid in bed.

 

                                         _11:34 PM_

 **To _Phichit:_** sorry again that I didn’t go with you.

 ** _To Phichit:_** but it was totally worth it

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** dont worry!!! Did u do it

 **To _Phichit:_** Do what?

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_**  Kiss!!!

 **To _Phichit:_** No.

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** ☹☹

 **To _Phichit:_** But I felt like he wanted it too.

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** U should tell him

 **To _Phichit:_** I know.

 

 

Somehow, weeks turned into months. Summer left and autumn announced its arrival with a bright change of colours. Yuuri tried to tell Viktor countless times, but each time, his nerves kicked in and ruined his perfect opportunity.

It was a chilly Saturday morning, Yuuri was walking Vicchan through the rain of orange, gold and ember. His thoughts drifted off to Viktor. He played the piano this morning, a song Yuuri hadn’t heard before. He sat beside him, watching the Russian’s hands fly over the keys almost magically.

It was astonishing, watching Viktor play. It always is.

Yuuko would come over for the evening so they could work on their school project together. But secretly, all Yuuri could focus on were the soft tunes of a piano coming from downstairs. His father often played, too. But there was something that made the way Viktor played different from the rest. A uniqueness, of sorts.

 

Sometimes, when Yuuri was alone, he would sit down, let his hands hover over the keys, and start practicing.

 

“Phichit!” Yuuri wailed, clutching his phone in his hand. “What should I get Viktor for Christmas? And what about his birthday? What am I supposed to do?!”

Christmas was only three days away, leaving Yuuri completely, utterly frantic. How could anything be worthy enough of Viktor Nikiforov? Yuuri was on the verge of going insane. He had gone to every shop, every market, looked through countless sites on the internet but nothing seemed fitting as a present.

Viktor got him a silver bracelet with his name engraved on it, Yuuri hadn’t stopped wearing it even once ever since his birthday. He grew more frustrated by each passing day, so he did the only thing he could think of; calling Phichit. Phichit had accepted the call immediately, he was sitting in his room, the walls were plastered with posters and photos of his hamsters. He took one look at Yuuri and instantly seemed to understand. “Viktor, huh?”

“He got you a bracelet for your birthday, right? Just give him a matching one in return,” Phichit suggested, not looking up to meet Yuuri’s eyes as he was busy entertaining his hamster. “But wouldn’t that seem copied, somehow? Would he even be happy about a bracelet? He’s probably used to getting much more expensive stuff…,” Eventually, even Phichit ran out of ideas, defeatedly seeking comfort in his hamsters. _“Good luck, Yuuri!”_ was the last thing Phichit said before he bid his goodbyes to his best friend.

Much to Yuuri’s dismay, the next days weren’t any different. He talked to his parents, to Mari, even to Georgi but no one could provide him with new ideas. The situation seemed hopeless and Yuuri was slowly giving up, mentally preparing for the disappointment in Viktor’s eyes.

He was on his way home, staring ahead at the brightly lit and decorated streets. Snowflakes were falling, making the scene in front of him look like one out of a fairytale. He went to a small store to buy Viktor a matching bracelet. He was disappointed to say the least, he had looked forward to the moment Viktor’s eyes would light up as he opened the present Yuuri got him for weeks. Little did he know that finding the perfect present was… unachievable. Yuuri was pouting inwardly, dreading the moment already.

He rounded the corner, his eyes were met with more breathtakingly beautiful lights and decorations. He remembered the way he would always be the first to decorate back in Hasetsu, the small town he grew up in. He stopped to take a photo and send it to Phichit, who lived in the middle of nowhere and would otherwise never get to see this. He wanted to continue walking when he spotted an old shop. Music could be heard from the inside, and Yuuri immediately felt tempted to go in there.

Yuuri carefully peeked inside, where his eyes met with those of an elderly woman, seemingly of Asian descent. “Welcome,” she greeted warmly. The shop was small and rustic, heated only by a small fireplace in a corner, but Yuuri immediately felt as ease. He looked around the rows, filled with hand-made figurines.

“Can I help you with something?” the woman then asked, appearing right next to him. “Actually, I’m searching for a present for a friend,” Yuuri informed her. Her face wrinkled up in thought for a few seconds before she led him to a row in the back of the old store.

Upon seeing it, Yuuri’s eyes immediately lit up. He got out his wallet, flinching slightly. But Viktor was worth it.

Yuuri arrived home safely, after spending almost an hour in the shop. He showed his present to his mom, who smiled warmly at him.

Christmas Eve arrived quickly, the family was gathered around the table, chatting excitedly. It was almost time for the presents, and Yuuri was nervously fiddling with his hands as his eyes darted over to where his presents for Viktor lay, wrapped in gold and silver.

The tree was brilliantly decorated, with far more presents placed under it than ever before. Yuuri’s father announced that it was time to open the presents and everyone moved to sit around the tree. Yuuri quickly looked at Viktor before directing his attention back to Mari, who was unwrapping her first present.

Finally, it was time for Viktor to open his presents. He started with the smallest one. The nervous fiddling continued.

Viktor’s face morphed into a wide, genuine smile as he spotted the bracelet that matched the one Yuuri was wearing. He unwrapped a new collar for Makkachin, the poodle’s name engraved on it, while his smile only widened. He then opened a small package filled with Russian sweets, and Viktor stared at him in disbelief. “How did you know?”

“I have my ways,” Yuuri replied. Makkachin was right next to them, wearing his new collar. Viktor then handed him his own present. Unpacking it, Yuuri stared at the whole series of his favourite manga. “You didn’t!” he mumbled, shocked. Viktor smiled cheekily at him before repositioning so he sat right next to Yuuri.

Yuuri and Viktor were still sitting in the living room, even long after everyone else had gone off to bed, flipping through the pages together. Viktor was wearing his bracelet proudly. They shimmered in the soft moonlight, tinging the room in a almost magical atmosphere.

Yuuri quickly checked the time before standing up to sit down at the piano. He closed his eyes, exhaled slowly and started playing. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Viktor’s wide eyes brimming with tears.

All the months he spent teaching himself how to play the piano for one single moment were more than worth it. After he finished, Viktor just continued sitting there, on the floor of their living room, surrounded by torn packaging.

“Happy Birthday, Viktor,” Yuuri whispered as he handed him his last present, a Russian good luck charm. Viktor’s eyes widened once more, and he nothing but threw himself into Yuuri’s arms.

And Yuuri wanted everyone to know. He wanted Viktor to have the best birthday imaginable simply because he deserved it. It was then that Yuuri truly realized how much Viktor had changed him, how much he had accustomed to Viktor.

 _maybe one day,_ Yuuri thought, _this love will be no longer one-sided_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_“Don’t look at the notes too much, Yuuri!”_

_“Focus on the chords, Yuuri!”_

_“Don’t play like you’ve only learned it, play like you feel it!”_

_“Try it like this, Yuuri! “Do that, Yuuri!”_

 

Advises, suggestions, criticism. Ever since Viktor started training Yuuri, he got constantly reminded of Viktor’s seemingly unlimited talent.

Yuuri had taken piano lessons in primary for little over a month. Unlike Viktor, he wasn’t a natural, but he had been eager to work hard. Listening to the piano had always been a way to calm himself down after a long, stressful day. Playing it, on the other hand, not so much. After Yuuri surprised Viktor on his birthday, the Russian didn’t stop talking about it. He immediately offered teaching Yuuri how to do it properly, and Yuuri couldn’t help but agree.

It was different, somehow, sitting there with Viktor. The other boy played the piano like it was as easy as breathing, his eyes closing as his hands fly over the keys.

When Yuuri composed the song for Viktor’s birthday, he let his heart guide him, his hands writing down the story of his life and how much it changed after Viktor entered it. Back then, he knew that it wasn’t perfect. But it was him. The song was always meant to represent his life with all its ups and downs. It was Yuuri, with all his flaws and shortcomings, but those who looked deeply enough would find much more than that. They would find the true beauty of life and love even in times of darkness.

They would find the meaning of happiness, anger and sadness as the song continued to tell its tale.

“There’s an event next month, something like a talent show, I think. It could be worth a try, don’t you think?”, Viktor informed him one evening.

Yuuri had sworn to never, ever play in front of an audience again. When he was eight and had barely finished his first month of training, his teacher, Minako, wanted him to play at an event for young pianists. Yuuri had honestly been excited back then, but as soon as he saw how incredible most of them were, his anxiety kicked in. When he sat there, watched by the expectant eyes of his friends and family, he felt paralyzed, unable to move, no matter how hard he tried. He messed up his performance and gave up playing as it clearly wasn’t for him.

He never wanted to experience it again. “I probably shouldn’t…,” Yuuri started, but was interrupted by Viktor. “I know what happened, Yuuri.” It was then that Yuuri felt the colour drain from his face. “W-what? How do you.. why?“ Yuuri stuttered out, shaking slightly. “I was there,” Viktor stated, leaving no time for Yuuri to reply as he quickly opened his mouth to speak again. “My father wanted me to take part, too, so I did. I remember little of it, but I remember the small, fragile boy that repeatedly asked his coach if he could go home after all. When I saw you there on the stage, I knew exactly how you felt. I knew the pressure you were under, the burden you had to carry. I even wanted to talk to you, but I couldn’t find you anywhere. I didn’t even know your name.”

Yuuri was shocked. He couldn’t recall having seen Viktor, but he couldn’t recall most of the day as well so it probably shouldn’t surprise him. He wondered what would have happened had Viktor found and spoken to him that day. But there was one question still unanswered in his head.

“How did you know it was me?“ Yuuri asked, his cheeks still a deep shade of red. Knowing that Viktor had seen one of the most embarrassing moments of his past wasn’t at all a pleasant thought. Viktor grinned. “Oh, Mari told me a few weeks ago.” “A few weeks?! Why did you never tell me?!“ Yuuri shrieked, honestly wondering how Viktor had reacted, hoping that Mari didn’t tell him as much.

“I think you should try, Yuuri. The past is in the past and neither of us can change it. Show everyone who doubted you what you’re truly capable of,” came Viktor’s reply, completely ignoring Yuuri’s earlier question. “I think I’ll have to think about this for a bit…,” Yuuri muttered, staring at the keys of the piano he practically grew up with. All the days spent listening to his Grandma, to his father or even to Viktor. He looked up when he felt a hand touch his shoulder, finding Viktor’s striking blue eyes staring back at him. “I just want you to know that I believe in you, Yuuri.”

He waited for a few seconds, probably for Yuuri to answer, but the Japanese couldn’t find the right words. Viktor rose to his feet and left the room, Makkachin happily trailing after him.

Yuuri smiled sadly before moving to the couch, chuckling as he felt Vicchan’s soft fur tickle him as the poodle laid down next to his owner.

Yuuri stroked his pets’ fur, staring at the black screen of the TV that held both their reflections. He was thinking about Viktor’s question, considering his answer. He didn’t want to take the matter lightly, needing to prevent the occurrences from back then from repeating once again. The minutes ticked by, the noises of the clock signalling the steady march of time growing louder and louder.

So many questions that Yuuri had no answers to were shooting through the boys’ head, violently forcing him to keep thinking even as he desperately wanted to stop. Yuuri lay curled up on the couch, a panic attack on its way to reach him, when he felt a strong hand try to drag him out of his misery. Viktor sat down beside Yuuri, shaking the Japanese’ shoulders. “Yuuri?” he asked, concern clear in his voice. “Can you try to sit up for me, please?” he then requested.

Yuuri gathered all of his strength to do as he was told, sitting up slowly. “There you go. Take deep, steady breaths. Just follow my breathing.” the Russian soothed in a soft tone. Yuuri followed it instructions and felt the prior tightness in his chest slowly melt away. “Does your head hurt?” Viktor asked, gesturing to him to wait for a seconds upon Yuuri’s nod to head to the kitchen to grab some aspirin and a glass of cold water. Yuuri accepted it gladly, drinking all in one gulp.

Viktor left him alone to rest for a bit longer, returning some time later. “Do you feel better?” Viktor asked silently as he walked into the room. Yuuri nodded, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “Do you feel up for a walk?” he asked, both their dog’s ears expectantly raising.

And so they were walking side by side through the cold, snowy fields in late December. Their dogs were happily barking a few paces ahead of them, now and then stopping to wait for their owners.

Neither Yuuri nor Viktor was talking, but the enfolding silence was comfortable, both silently agreeing to just enjoy the scenery. Yuuri had made up his mind; he would take part in the talent show his love to everyone. He wanted to do it for Viktor, his family and his friends. He wanted to show them that he could do more; he wanted to make them proud, and he knew there was a lot of work ahead of him, but in the end, it would be worth it.

 They passed the lake Yuuri had often skated on when he was younger, its frozen surface shimmered beautifully as the sun’s golden rays fell upon it. “Have you ever skated before?” Yuuri stopped, turning to face Viktor who was also looking at the beautiful scene that stretched out in front of them.

Viktor nodded. “Yeah, I used to skate a lot when I was younger, but throughout the years I slowly lost my inspiration and the spark expired, I guess.”

“There’s an ice rink close by, we could go there sometime if you want,” Yuuri informed the other boy who, in response, nodded eagerly. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

 

 

**December 30th**

_Dear Diary,_

_Today, Viktor and I went ice skating together. It was the most fun I’ve had in weeks. Thankfully, the rink wasn’t very crowded so we didn’t have to take as much care as we probably would have. We were the only ones there when we arrived in the morning. It’s been way too long since I last ice skated, so I had especially much fun today. Viktor and I even chased each other around, he would constantly turn and take off for another direction. He tried to teach me how to land some jumps, and god, he’s good at it. I couldn’t land any of them, but Viktor promised he wouldn’t stop until I could execute at least one perfectly. I’m already looking forward to it._

_Viktor and I also got invited to the annual new year’s party, which we’ll go to tomorrow. Phichit and Georgi will go as well. I look forward to seeing them all again. “Practice”, as Viktor and I call it, is going well. I feel like I steadily improve, even though I still think I lack the special ‘something’. I have to study hard when school starts again._

_It’s hard for me to believe that there’s less than a year left until the finals._

_I hope that Viktor will keep living with us._

_~Yuuri_

 

 

“There’s no chance I’ll let you go like this, Yuuri,” Phichit stated coldly, turning away from his so-called-best-friend.

They had met up to get ready for the party together. Yuuri had dressed himself hastily that morning, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. Phichit, unfortunately for Yuuri, wasn’t having any of it.

He rummaged through his closet until he found the perfect outfit for his best friend to wear. He gestured for Yuuri to sit down and immediately started his work.

Twenty-seven minutes later, Yuuri was gaping at his reflection in the mirror, unable to believe that he was, indeed, looking at himself. Phichit had done an astonishing job, making Yuuri look straight like a model out of one of those famous magazines. “Now, Yuuri, fulfil my work and show everyone your true Eros,” Phichit whispered, grinning in pure mischief. “E-Eros?” Yuuri shrieked, eyes wide as he tried to let everything sink in.

This would be an interesting night.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Viktor and Chris were getting ready as well. “Ready for some hot stuff, dude?” Chris asked as he grabbed his phone that would surely be full of hot--- pictures. Just… pictures. Viktor nodded, grabbing his phone. He got a message from Phichit, wondering how the boy had gotten his number in the first place. He quickly opened it as they headed out the door to Chris’ car.

All it said was…

 

_You can thank me later._

 

Viktor didn’t respond, due to him not even knowing what the Thai boy meant.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Yuuri and Phichit arrived at the party around 20 minutes later, the deafeningly loud music guiding them to their destination. The place was already crowded even as the party hadn’t even officially begun, having Yuuri uncomfortably backing away from a group of drunk guys trying to flirt with him.

He lost sight of Phichit not even ten minutes after, standing awkwardly in a corner, desperately trying to avoid socialization. He wondered if Viktor was there already as he looked around, trying to spot the familiar platinum silver mob of hair.

How he was supposed to survive three hours of partying he didn’t know. At the moment, he didn’t even know if he would survive the party at all. He would probably be deaf in the morning. Yuuri had never been a fan of partying, and therefore always tied to avoid it when he could.

When he finally spotted Viktor, the Russian rapidly stopped in his tracks, eyes widening as he looked at Yuuri. Was he.. blushing? Yuuri waved shyly and Viktor immediately accepted Yuuri’s invite to come over.

He closed the distance between them in record-time and smiled brightly at Yuuri. “You look… amazing,” he complimented in admiration. Now it was Yuuri’s time to blush as he returned the compliment. Something in Viktor’s expression changed as he smiled knowingly. “I guess I really have to thank Phichit, then.”

Yuuri didn’t know what exactly Viktor was referring to, but could very well imagine what he meant. Surely Phichit wouldn’t let his work go unrewarded. Yuuri’s face lit up as one of his favourite songs came up, badly wanting to sing along to ‘Shall we dance’. Viktor seemed to like the song as well as he hummed along to the familiar tune.

Yuuri looked around and found everyone dancing along. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to at least move a little, right?

The Japanese slowly started to dance, still uncertain about his movements, when Viktor unexpectedly swept him off his feet and dragged him to the dance floor.

They danced, danced, and danced some more. Song after song, Yuuri’s mood constantly got better. When finally a slow song started playing, Yuuri was unsure of how to act at first, shyly looking around at the other couples that were swaying along to the acoustic version of ‘Tales of a sleeping prince’.

Viktor slowly intertwined their fingers. He then laid his arms around Yuuri’s shoulders, keeping him close. And so there were gently swaying along to the soft tune.

Their luck, unfortunately, was short-lived as Georgi came crashing through the door, demanding to dance with Yuuri. Viktor reluctantly let the boy go, a sour feeling settling in his chest. Georgi intrusively pressed Yuuri into his chest, resting his face in the other boys’ jet black hair.

It was the first time Viktor had seen Yuuri with his hair gelled back. Viktor couldn’t withstand the urge to repeat the thought of how gorgeous Yuuri looked today. He wore a button-down shirt that complimented his eyes and tight jeans. To put it short; he looked absolutely stunning.

What he definitely didn’t like, though, was the imagine in front of him; Yuuri pressed into Georgi’s chest, looking more uncomfortable than he had ever seen him. Viktor just wanted to pry Yuuri away from him.

There was one hour left of the year, one that held many changes for Viktor, but he refused to complain because he finally found what he had searched for his whole life. A family, someone whom he could hold on to. Someone who would give him steady and the love he had always hoped for. And maybe, he found even more than that.

 

As soon as Georgi released him, Yuuri headed off to the bar to grab a drink. He didn’t know if it was just his imagination playing tricks on him or if Viktor truly looked… jealous, even. Yuuri felt bad for the warm feeling that settled in his chest, but… Viktor being jealous must surely mean something, right?

Downing shot after shot, he didn’t notice the drunk guy stumbling in his direction until he viciously crashed into him, knocking Yuuri off his feet.

The guy was lying on top off him and Yuuri could hardly breathe through all the pressure.

Suddenly, the drunk touched him fiercely, not stopping even as Yuuri begged him to and he wanted to scream, to escape the flesh and bone prison that violently held him in place.

And then Viktor was there, prying the guy away from him, punching him several times, a dark, dangerous gleam in his eyes.

Viktor looked ready to kill someone as he shouted: **“Don’t you dare touch him again!”** The drunk quickly backed away and vanished in the crowd that had gathered around them.

Yuuri was still lying on the ground, heavily panting as he tried to catch his breath and fill his lungs with the much-needed air.

Viktor crouched down next to him, gathering him up in his arms and bringing his face close to his chest. Viktor was apologizing over and over for not being there, and Yuuri wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, that he should have noticed the guy sooner but he couldn’t find his voice, he couldn’t speak even as he wanted to so badly. Viktor sat there, simply holding Yuuri until the Japanese had calmed down enough to stand up again.

Viktor stood up, steadying Yuuri as he guided him to one of the benches on the balcony, helping him sit down again. Yuuri rested his head on Viktor’s shoulder, whispering a quiet ‘thank you’.

And as on call, Georgi was there, heavily panting in his outraged state. Heavily stamping over to where they were sat on the bench. “Yuuri, are you okay?! Should I call an ambulance? Do you want me to carry you to the hospital? Are there any doctors present?! We need a doc---,”

“Georgi!” Viktor interrupted the other boy, shaking his head. Georgi stopped, looking down on Yuuri as if he wanted to make sure he was indeed unhurt. He sighed sadly and nodded as he sat down on one of the other benches. He said nothing, he just sat there, watching Yuuri as he slowly dozed off on Viktor’s shoulder.

 

 

Viktor didn’t know how much time had passed as he sat there, securely holding Yuuri as he slept. The loud music was suddenly drowned out by cheerful voices of the guests, counting down the last thirty seconds of the year.

 

_30_

 

**_What good deeds had he accomplished this year?_ **

 

_29_

 

**_Had he made someone proud?_ **

 

_28_

 

**_What goals had he achieved?_ **

 

_27_

 

**_Had he found the place he truly belonged to?_ **

 

_26_

 

**_What could he have done better?_ **

 

_25_

 

**_What didn’t go as planned?_ **

 

_24_

 

**_What helped him on his way?_ **

 

_23_

 

**_What had he wanted to do?_ **

 

_22_

 

**_What had he actually done?_ **

 

_21_

 

**_What could he do in the future?_ **

 

_20_

 

**_Where had he wanted to go?_ **

 

_19_

 

**_Whom had he wanted to meet?_ **

 

_18_

 

**_Whom had he wanted to forget?_ **

 

_17_

 

**_Which boundaries had he wanted to cross?_ **

 

_16_

 

**_What could the next year bring?_ **

 

_15_

 

**_What could his future hold?_ **

 

_14_

 

**_Whom had he yet to meet?_ **

 

_13_

 

**_Whom had he yet to let go of?_ **

 

_12_

 

**_Whom had he made happy?_ **

 

_11_

 

**_Whom had he disappointed_ ** _?_

 

_10_

 

**_Why were there so many feelings he couldn’t explain?_ **

 

_9_

 

**_What could he do to make the following year as precious as possible?_ **

 

_8_

 

**_Whom did he want to spend the next year with?_ **

 

_7_

 

**_He knew_ **

 

_6_

 

**_He knew it all_ **

 

_5_

 

**_But maybe, it was time to ask the question that was truly important_ **

 

_4_

 

**_Had he finally found the love he had searched for?_ **

 

 

_3_

 

 

_2_

 

 

_Viktor closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Yuuri’s, putting all his emotions, all his love and all his passion in that one kiss that meant more to him than he could ever express._

 

_1_

 Because the answer was ‘yes’, he did.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri was standing in front of a lake, its water a familiar deep, stunning shade of blue. It reminded Yuuri of something… or someone? He couldn’t recall a time where he had felt as carefree as he did now, standing there and fully taking in the breath-taking scenery. But deep down, there was something troubling him. Like there was something he had forgotten, something he was never supposed to forget.

Yuuri couldn’t put his finger on what it was. He felt like there was something trying to pry him away from this beautiful world, but he didn’t want to leave just yet. He feared that if he left now, he might not be able to come back.

But then he felt a presence swirling around, following his every step like a shadow. Yuuri didn’t know what it was, nor did he want to. He felt threatened by it, like a wild animal lurking in the bushes. He felt defenceless, vulnerable and exposed to whatever it was out there.

He tried to back away as a warm breeze brushed his skin, soothing his fright. And in that very moment, he was sure to have felt something gently brush his lips, like a kiss. He wanted to lean into the constant, radiating warmth but found that he couldn’t move, like he was bound to the place he stood on.

And when the world slowly faded out, Yuuri could do nothing but watch.

Yuuri was sure to have jumped at least a metre as he suddenly awoke to a thunderous ‘bang’. It took him a few seconds to realize that he must have fallen asleep leaning on someone, but he would apologize later. He frantically sat up, meeting a pair of blue eyes which he immediately recognized as Viktor’s. “Vi-Viktoruu! What’s happening?” he mumbled hoarsely, confusion visible on his face.

Viktor looked at him, shocked. “I, I didn’t mean to-!”

“Let’s dance, Viktoruu!”, Yuuri shouted as he looked around, spotting the other guests dancing. When Viktor didn’t react, Yuuri raised his voice again. “Please, Viktorrrr!”

“Yuuri, what exactly was it you drank at the bar earlier?” Viktor asked, trying to look serious even as he was obviously suppressing his laughter. “I just had a glass of water, I thin-- Wa- Was it water? I’m not sure…?” Yuuri asked, deep in thought. Viktor just smiled and led him to the dance floor once more.

 

Viktor came back from the bathroom, back hurting from all the dancing. Yet he couldn’t help but smile brightly as he searched the dance floor for Yuuri.

_Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri._

A sour feeling settled in his chest when thinking back to what happened earlier, but being here, with Yuuri, was enough to make him forget all his troubles.

Thinking of… Where was he?

Panic settled in his chest as Viktor frantically looked around, trying to find him.

When his eyes landed on a pole that definitely hadn’t been there when he left. Viktor couldn’t help but stare as Chris and Yuuri pulled off move after move, gracefully moving around even in their drunken states.

Viktor never pulled out his phone more quickly in his life.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“This… is the worst day of my life,” Yuuri said, his voice brimming with embarrassment. Viktor could barely speak, his voice coming out as small puffs between his laughter. “What else did I do?” Yuuri then asked. “Well, first you challenged the bartender for a dance-off, which you’ve won, obviously. After that, you got rid of your clothes-“

“V-Viktor!” Yuuri interrupted, shocked. “Okay, okay! _Most_ of your clothes, and challenged Chris on the pole. I can show you, by the way! I filmed all of it!” Viktor happily cheered. “No, no, no, no!” Yuuri yelled, shaking his hands wildly.

“I’m a bit sad no one captured our dance-off on video, though… I sure would have loved to see it,” Viktor started but was cut off by a pillow, thrown by Yuuri, in his direction.

Yuuri most certainly had to re-order his ranking list of the most embarrassing moments in his life, this one would clearly top most of them by far.

Yuuri knew that Viktor didn’t plan on letting him forget about the night, as he replayed all the photos and videos of it he had.  

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was Friday, 28th January 2019, and Yuuri was literally freaking out. It was the day before the talent show and Yuuri couldn’t stay calm any longer. Viktor and him had worked hard for the following day, but still Yuuri felt as unprepared as one could possibly feel.

He felt like he wasn’t even able to play the piano in the first place. After all, he’d only ever had lessons for barely two months. His hands were sweating, and he carried an unbearable feeling of nervousness in his stomach. He considered resigning, just sitting in the audience, enjoying the show instead of playing. If he got to choose, he knew what he’d rather do. But Viktor, eager as he was, wouldn’t even let him think about withdrawing from the show.

He acted like a real coach now, having quit all forms of informalities. Yuuri didn’t know what he was supposed to think about Viktor’s actions.

The Russian seemed to be nervous, constantly harbouring over Yuuri, asking him how he felt, if he wanted to revise the song again, if there was anything he didn’t feel comfortable with. Yuuri had to admit he enjoyed being the object of Viktor’s unbroken attention, but it did little to ease Yuuri’s growing anxiety.

The evening prior, Viktor came to visit Yuuri one last time before they’d head off. He sat down on Yuuri’s bed and took out his phone. He opened the gallery and scrolled down to one of the last files, named ‘2007’. The footage was blurred, switching out of focus every few seconds. But Yuuri effortlessly recognized Viktor’s unique platinum coloured hair.

Viktor was young, his hair barely reaching his shoulders. He smiled at the camera before sitting down, hands hovering over the keys of a white piano before starting to play.

“It was the first time I played in front of an audience. I was so excited I could barely sit still for a minute,” Viktor said, fondness in his tone, “The quality’s bad, I know, but… I still see everything clearly, even after all this time.”

The quality slightly contorted the sounds Viktor created, but they weren’t any less enchanting. The audience clapped after Viktor finished. The young boy was standing in the middle of the stage, bowing slightly before disappearing behind the curtains. Yuuri was unconsciously clapping as well as he stared at the now dark screen of Viktor’s phone, whispering, “You were so young.” Viktor was still smiling, looking at the dark screen with a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Thanks for showing me.”

 

 

Yuuri and Viktor were sitting in the backseat of Chris’ car, who luckily agreed to drive them. Yuuri was staring out the window, desperately trying to harness his growing anxiety. Their goal was constantly getting closer, the GPS already announcing their arrival in less than five minutes. Yuuri was one of the oldest contestants, the others, it seemed, were younger children wanting to show everyone what their talent was.

The talent show was divided into three groups: Music, dance and other. Yuuri already knew that he was the only pianist taking part, which could be an advantage if he performed according to plan. Most of the participants were either singing or dancing. Yuuri’s group would open the show, so he had to be there a little earlier to have everything prepared.

 The first round concluded who’d compete in the finals that took place only a few hours after. Everyone who’d get through had to show a second performance, which, for Yuuri, was ‘Ballade pour Adeline’ by Richard Clayderman.

 

“It’s almost your turn, Yuuri,” Viktor appeared behind a curtain that led to the backstage area. Yuuri determinedly refused to watch any of the other contestants’ acts, trying to keep his nervousness at bay. Yuuri rose to his feet, taking long, steady breaths. He could do this.

He peeked through the curtains and spotted the piano he would play on today being parked on the stage. When he looked back, Viktor was there, securing him in a warm, reassuring embrace. He heard his name being announced through the speakers, waiting for three seconds before confidently walking up the stage.

Yuuri gracefully strides over to his piano, bows to the audience and sits down. He uses the opportunity to gather his thoughts one last time and starts playing. His hands following the familiar order of keys and chords, the story he is trying to tell developing in his head.

All his prior nervousness gets replaced with the warm, cosy feeling of doing what he grew to love. He was creating a story, unfolding its secrets as his hands fly over the keys.

And before he knew it, he was done, staring at the audience in awe. For a few, unbearable seconds everything was silent, no one in the hall dared to move as if Yuuri had cast a spell on them.

And in some ways, he had. Because in the next second, the crowd erupted in cheers, clapping and whistling in amazement. Because Yuuri had enchanted everyone present with his tale of life and love. Yuuri stood up on shaking knees, bowing again before leaving the stage. As soon as he appeared behind the curtains, Viktor welcomed him a bone-crushing hug.

“I’m so, so proud of you, Yuuri,” Viktor exclaimed as they sat in the waiting room, waiting for the judges to publish their judgement.

Yuuri got in the finals, executing his second song perfectly. He came in second, just behind a ten-year-old dancer.

Even though he didn’t win, Yuuri couldn’t be happier.

 

* * *

 

 

The finals were coming up, so Yuuri, Phichit and Yuuko had met up to study together. It didn’t take long for them to realize that neither of them knew how to do the exercises lying in front of them. And not even two minutes after they began, they were already panicking, thinking of worst-case scenarios in which none of them would pass the exams.

“I wonder what the genius is doing right now…,” Yuuko said in a flat tone. Yuuri immediately pictured Viktor fast asleep in his room with Makkachin curled up next to him. “Well, he never studies,” Yuuri informed the others, sighing loudly as he rested his head on the table. “Maybe we could ask him to tutor us?” Phichit then suggested.

Yuuri considered the request for a second, honestly thinking that Viktor might agree. “Well, I guess we could ask him…,” Yuuri replied, slowly standing up, waiting for the others to follow. When neither of them moved, Yuuri sighed again, clearly getting the message. He knocked on Viktor’s door to announce his arrival before entering the room.

He was met with a happy bark from Makkachin, who was lying on the floor next to Viktor’s bed, wagging his tail excitedly. Viktor was, as expected, asleep. Yuuri didn’t want to wake him, but the future of Yuuko, Phichit and him depended on it! Viktor didn’t even stir as he shook his shoulder.

“Viktor, Viktor! Wake up, we need your help!” Yuuri whispered as he continued shaking Viktor’s shoulder. Finally, Viktor stirred, little by little peering his open. He sat up at a snail’s pace and eventually met Yuuri’s eyes in confusion. “Okay, so Yuuko, Phichit and I met up to study, but things weren’t exactly… working. We thought that maybe… you could give us a little tutoring lesson?” Yuuri said hopefully, staring at Viktor with his brown, wide puppy-eyes he knew Viktor couldn’t resist.

Viktor sighed grumpily but agreed to help them anyway. Yuuri brightened up before sprinting back to his room to inform his friends of today’s Victory.

He knew that Viktor was talented, but he never knew he could tutor as well. After three exhausting hours, they had somewhat understood the basics, even being able to do most of the exercises themselves. Yuuri was smiling as he laid in bed that night, listening to Vicchan’s soft snoring as he again watched the video of his performance at the talent show.

Phichit couldn’t restrain himself from proudly telling their whole class they had gotten privately tutored by ‘the genius’ himself. And so they were gathered in their living room two weeks before the finals, begging Viktor to help them. Viktor didn’t look happy in the slightest, but agreed to help them nonetheless. He’d done a fine job, really, managing to keep everything under control even as tutoring a group their size practically screamed for chaos.

“Thank you, Viktor-Senpai!” At least Yuuri’s class had the decency to properly thank Viktor for his help. When finally everyone had gone, both Yuuri and Viktor flopped down on the couch, ready to fall asleep  then and there. “How do you keep up with them all day?” Viktor asked, noticeably sounding astounded.

“Well, I’ve had lots of training. My class in primary was… something else if I dare say,” Yuuri chuckled, letting his head fall back. “What do you plan to do after you graduated, Viktor?” Yuuri asked, sitting up straight to look at him.

“My father always wanted me to go to Tokyo University, take over his legacy, but… to be honest, it’s not at all what I truly want,” he replied, fatigue taking over his features. “What do you want, then?” came Yuuri’s reply.

“I always wanted to become a competitive figure skater when I was younger, but I weren’t able to cling to that dream. I also wanted to become a famous pianist, but I don’t think I could spend the rest of my life doing something I don’t unconditionally love.”

Yuuri was torn between going deeper into conversation with Viktor or letting the topic fall for today. He decided to let Viktor decide if he wanted to continue or not as he replied, “I don’t know what I want to do, either. I just feel like there’s nothing I’m particularly good at or if there were something my anxiety would clearly get in the way…” Viktor smiled, but kept quiet. Yuuri thought he would let the topic fall but then Viktor’s voice rang through dark, barely lit room again.

“I wanted to become a doctor. When I was seven, my little brother got involved in a hit-and-run right in front of my eyes. I- I didn’t know what to do, Yuuri. I was so scared. But what really frightened me was being completely unprepared, clueless as to what to do… All I could do was stare as he lay there…,” Viktor’s voice tightened as he clearly  fought back the threatening tears.

Yuuri wanted to say something–anything – but was cut off by Viktor’s voice raising once again. “I don’t want to experience something like that ever again, but I want to be able to do more than just first aid if it happens again. I feel like being a doctor, helping others, is something I could gladly do for the rest of my life. I feel like I owe it to him.”

“I think you should follow your dream, Viktor. If becoming a doctor is what you truly want, then do it!” And in that very moment, a still unsharpened idea settled into the deep-ends of Yuuri’s mind.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The last day of the finals had arrived. Yuuri nervously wobbled on his chair as the teacher was already giving out the papers. He wouldn’t fail Viktor after all the help the other boy had provided him with!

As he looked over the questions, he found that he actually knew how to do them. He eagerly scribbled down his calculations before filling in all the answers. When the teacher collected the exams again, Yuuri felt like a rock had just been lifted off his shoulders. The atmosphere in their class took a noticeable change as the dread and frustration vanished in thin air.

Yuuri left the room to find Viktor when he found the Russian standing right outside their classroom. As soon as Viktor noticed Yuuri, he tensely asked “How’d it go?” Yuuri smiled brightly and for him, watching Viktor’s face light up was worth all the stress he went through over the last few months. He met Viktor in a hug before dragging him off to grab something to eat.

 

_I believe we all wish to continue walking forward with the knowledge gained from all the years that lay behind us engraved in our hearts._

_Teachers, parents, we are truly indebted to you for guiding us through these three years._

_Thank you. Class representative, Yuuri Katsuki._

 

_Likewise, Phichit Chulanont._

Yuuri could barely believe that this was the end of their journey. He found it hard to believe that he would never walk through the gates, halls, and doors of his now former school again. After everyone gave their speeches, he couldn’t suppress his tears anymore.

Everyone of their class had passed the final exams erupting  in wild cheers and joy. They would all meet up one last time to celebrate their victory.

Yuuri stood at the gate, taking all in one last time before turning around to face his already waiting family. Viktor had passed with his usual excellence, of course. But he, too, seemed happy about it. Yuuri hoped he would still get to spend as much time with Viktor as possible, even though they would be in different departments from now on. Viktor would attend the Medical Department, studying to become a doctor and fulfil his dream, whereas Yuuri attended the arts department.

 

Phichit and Yuuri were getting ready for the ‘so-called-party’, but both of them knew that it would be more like a banquet, really. Formal, without dancing and loud music-  all thanks to Class-A and B. They could sing Karaoke, though, so Yuuri mentally prepared for an evening full of off-key singing and deafening voices.

Phichit had created a folder specially for the evening, ready to share the misery that awaited them with his Insta-followers. Yuuri couldn’t recall a time where he had dressed as noble as today.

All classes were divided by different tables, neatly arranged in five rows. The hall they sat in was appropriately decorated and the tables were full of all kinds of dishes. They ate accompanied by the soft tunes of a violin.

As they finished eating, it was time for Karaoke. Georgi’s hand shot up in an instant. As soon as he got chosen, he grabbed his guitar, announcing that he would sing a song written by himself.

 

_“Ladies and Gentlemen!_

_Welcome to Georgi on-stage tonight!_

_Please listen to my song, “Yuuri, my love.”_

_A one, two, three, four…_

_I love Yuuri,_

_I’m so grateful that I was able to meet him._

_Yuuri loves me too._

_That’s why we’re happy._

_We met during spring when sakura petals fall._

_Is God playing a trick on me?_

_I fell in love with Yuuri at first sight._

 

Georgi rouse from his seat, laid the guitar on the ground as he was confidently striding over to where Yuuri stood. He stopped with only a short distance separating them.

Yuuri shrieked when he witnessed the other boy getting down on one knee. “Katsuki Yuuri, will you do me the honour of becoming my husband? I shall continue to love and honour you just like I did the last three years we’ve known each other.”

Yuuri didn’t know what was happening. Georgi continued kneeling before him, patiently awaiting his answer. Yuuri felt petrified. He felt that if he tried to talk now, his voice would hopelessly fail him. Never in his whole life had he expected this. He closed his eyes, trying to calm the turbulence inside him when suddenly, he was yanked around by a strong pair of arms.

He opened his eyes to see what was going on when he was met with Viktor’s blue eyes that we’re coming closer and closer—

 

He didn’t know how much more his poor heart could take as Viktor passionately kissed him.

 

* * *

 

 

_Dear Diary,_

_Can you believe I’m going to university already? To be honest, I don’t think I’ve changed at all. I still see myself as this immature, clumsy boy who lacks confidence. But how about I tell you that this immature, clumsy boy now has a boyfriend?_

_Hard to believe, right?_

_Even though Viktor openly kissed me, he hadn’t acted any different the days after. He just continued being his usual, clingy self. I didn’t dare ask him about it, I guess I was afraid of what his answer could be. But then, one evening, he confronted me about the kiss. He asked me what exactly it was between us. He asked me if I were embarrassed of him._

_I just laughed, telling him that I feared the same._

_And for the first time since, we genuinely talked about our feelings. And so we’re officially dating now. My mother made Katsudon for us and Viktor loves it just as much as I do. I hope we can continue eating Katsudon in the future._

_I have to admit that I feel sorry for Georgi, poor lad hasn’t been feeling great recently. But I couldn’t have possibly said yes, right? It would have been far from fair to lie to him like that._

_I genuinely hope that Georgi will find the true love he deserves._

_Just like I did._

_P.S. I don’t know for how long I will continue writing diary, I’m a grown-up now, after all._

_~Yuuri_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Yuuri was panicking, hysterically pacing in the living room as he tried to remember where he put his bag. Today was their first day of university and Yuuri just had to be perfectly prepared. The first impression counted, after all!

Viktor was silently observing the spectacle from his spot in the threshold. “Have you looked in your room?” Nod. “My room?” Another nod. “The closet?” Yuuri stopped, facing him with a questioning look. “Now why would I put it… there…,” he slurred as the watched his mother entering the room, Yuuri’s bag in hand.

“It was in the closet, wasn’t it?” he asked, annoyed by himself. Hiroko nodded as she handed the bag over to her son. “Good luck!” she shouted as Yuuri and Viktor headed out the door.

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Can you believe we’re in University now?” Yuuri asked as they crossed the yard. “Well, yes. I definitely wouldn’t doubt it after all the times you’ve told me,” Viktor chuckled, taking Yuuri’s hand as they walked. Openly showing affection wasn’t a matter that should be taken lightly, but Viktor and Yuuri decided that they were old enough to decide for themselves about what they would and wouldn’t do.

“Ah, there’s Phichit..,” Yuuri informed Viktor, giving his hand a last squeeze before whispering “See you later.” He’d rather stay with Viktor, heading to the medical department while they held hands.

“Hi, Phichit!” Yuuri greeted his best friend who was already smiling at him. “Hi!” Phichit greeted him back. “Can you believe that we’ll be going to this place almost every day for the next four years?” Yuuri asked him. Phichit nodded eagerly. “I can’t wait. Going to university is so much cooler!”

Yuuri looked at the clock. “Ahh, we should probably head to the classroom.”

 

Their professor welcomed them with a long, imprinting lecture.

_“Congratulations on getting in._

_There may be some amongst you who think you can take it easy after getting into university._

_But that’s being naïve! Way too naïve!_

_This department especially has many student repeating years!_

_I predict many students here will hear this very speech again next year!_

_Students! Be sure to study hard!_

_Don’t waste the expensive tuition fees!_

_Become smarter!_

_Got it?!_

_Don’t grow to be the shame of this university!”_

 

“This professor definitely is something else,” Phichit said as he confirmed what they’d all been thinking.

“Hey, you there!” a brown-haired boy yelled, trying to get their attention. “The Ski Association welcomes beauties!” Yuuri and Phichit purposely ignored them, not interested in joining any clubs.

“No, please join the Film Research Club!” another boy yelled.

“If you want a club, join the Equestrian Club!”

“I’m from the Tennis Club. Would you like to join us?”

“We’re the bright and cheerful Pin Pong Club!”

“You’re very handsome, so how about the announcer Club?”

“You there, Sir, how about the Bowling Club?”

“I’m from the Yachting Club. Ride on a yacht in dreamy Barcelonaan colours!”

“We’re your friendly, comedic Rakugo Study Group.”

 

“How is it even possible to have so many clubs?” Phichit complained, carrying a heavy pile of adverts. “Well, our University isn’t even that big compared to others, I don’t want to know how many clubs they have there,” Yuuri responded as he carried the same amount of prospects. They were walking through the corridors as Yuuri spotted Viktor in one of the classes.

The Russian was playing on a white piano, accompanied by a beautiful woman playing the violin. Yuuri could only stare for a few seconds before Phichit crashed into him, unwantedly announcing their arrival. Viktor stopped playing for a few seconds but never looked up as if he already knew who was silently watching him. The woman smiled at them, though the smile seemed strained, faked, even. “Hello, my name is Mila. I attend the Medical Department with Viktor. As you can see, we’re in the Music Club as well.” Yuuri didn’t like the way she emphasized Viktor’s name at all, but introduced himself and Phichit politely nonetheless.

“Well, if you’d excuse us? We have a lot to prepare for the upcoming Music Festival,” she informed them with a deathly glare in her eyes. Yuuri felt uneasiness tug at his stomach, begging to be granted permission to enter. An idea slowly started to form in his mind, the uneasiness fading away, for it couldn’t possibly go wrong.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Yuuri,” Viktor scolded. “You know that this isn’t a very good idea, right?”

“Maybe. And I know it was only the first week of University, but please let me transfer to the Medical Department!” Yuuri pleaded. Even though it wasn’t for Viktor to decide, he still wanted his approval. Yuuri knew that he would have to study harder than ever before, but if it meant being by Viktor’s side and sharing his dream was worth it.

“If becoming a nurse is what you genuinely want… But know that the patients’ lives depend on you. It’s not a job for the faint-hearted.” Viktor finally sat down beside him, locking their hands as he looked at Yuuri. “I trust you, Yuuri. But please don’t do this just to be by my side more.” Yuuri knew that being by Viktor’s side was, indeed, part of the reason he wanted to become a nurse.

“I want to be worthy of being by your side. I want to share your dream and help others as best as I can. I know that it’s going to be hard, but I’m ready to fight for it,” Yuuri stated, weakly squeezing Viktor’s hands. He didn’t know why he felt unsure, suddenly, as if all his prior confidence had disappeared. But he truly, honestly meant what he said.

“I still have much time left to decide. I promise I won’t take this lightly,” Yuuri whispered, brushing a gentle kiss against Viktor’s lips.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Love Valley?!” Yuuri uttered, eying the prospect his mother had given him. “Don’t you think we’re a little… too old for this?” Yuuri asked with raised eyebrows, imagining a colourful decorated kindergarten-like building in the middle of nowhere. “Just read the offers!” Hiroko happily suggested. Yuuri did as he was told, and opened the prospect to read its content.

His mouth fell open as he read the first lines.

‘Are you ready to discover the true meaning of love and passion? Are you searching for the hottest adventure of your life? Then book yours now! For more details, visit our website: [www.Love-valley.com](http://www.Love-valley.com).

“Mom, you can’t be serious!” Yuuri looked up to meet his mothers’ eyes, shocked by the imagines that immediately clouded his mind. Hiroko was sheepishly smiling, chuckling as she left the room. A few seconds after the door linking the kitchen to the dining room closed, Hiroko’s voice could be heard again as she stated “How good that I’ve already booked it~!”

Now, Yuuri was truly, utterly horrified. He grabbed his phone and immediately scrolled through their E-Mails. I didn’t take long to find the right one.

‘ _Order Confirmed_ –3 days love-adventure at Love Valley for two, breakfast included, pets allowed’

Yuuri closed his eyes and rested his head on the kitchen table. He felt denial leave him and slowly, painfully, realization set in. It seemed like he had to spend three whole days with Viktor, alone. Well, if that were the problem. Yuuri was more afraid of what they’d find there. Would they get pressured to do yet inappropriate things?

The Japanese was interrupted in his daunting train of thoughts by Viktor walking through the door. “Good morning, my little piggy,” Viktor whispered, his voice slurred by the gentle kisses he welcomed Yuuri with. “Good morning,” Yuuri responded gently, forgetting about the matter for a second. As soon as Viktor turned around to grab a fresh bowl, Yuuri was reminded with what had been bothering him for the last hour. Viktor seemed to have noticed the change in his boyfriend’s behaviour as he eyed him carefully for a few seconds, eyes darting to the table.

“Love valley?” Viktor laughed, his voice the complete opposite of Yuuri’s when his mother first told him about her idea. “You could have always told me if you wanted to---,“ Viktor began, but was interrupted by Yuuri wildly shaking his head, emphasizing the gesture with his hands,  repeating ‘no’ over and over again. Viktor laughed again, shooting Yuuri a warm yet teasing smile.

“Would it calm you if we brought Makkachin and Vicchan along?”, Viktor asked, resting his head on his hand. Yuuri nodded enthusiastically. “I mean, I’m not trying to make it sound like I don’t want to, but it’s just…,” Yuuri mumbled, unsure of how to continue.

“Yuuuuri~,” Viktor said in a singsong manner. “I think we should take this opportunity to learn a bit more about each other.” Yuuri reluctantly nodded, praying for Viktor’s questions not to be too forward. “Tell me, is there a boy you’ve loved? A past relationship?”, Viktor asked coyly, waiting patiently for Yuuri’s answer. “N-No..,” Yuuri stuttered, not daring to meet Viktor’s eyes.

“At least someone you were interested in? A crush, maybe?” Viktor then wanted to know. It took all of Yuuri’s might to not let his thoughts wander as he thought about his answer. “N-No comment,” he said, wondering how he managed to make his voice sound at least somewhat steady.

Yuuri looked up as he felt Viktor’s hand brush his, seeking permission to intertwine. Yuuri smiled softly as he took in the sight of their locked hands. Being able to touch Viktor was still unique for him, a moment he desperately wanted to cherish with all his might. “Sorry, I’m just teasing. But I want you to know that it’s okay. Being with you alone is more than I could have ever hoped for,” Viktor assured him, a gentle expression on his face.

“I love you,” Yuuri whispered as he leaned in to steal yet another kiss from Viktor, whom was more than ready to provide him with as many kisses as he wanted.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The day of their departure arrived, and Yuuri could honestly say that he looked forward to the days he could spend with Viktor. Phichit and Yuuko had been pretty surprised when he told them about their stay at love valley. The Thai boy constantly stopped talking to scribble something down, explaining he needed ideas for the upcoming birthday of Seung-Gil. Yuuri still didn’t know the true extent of their friendship. Honestly, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it was more than just platonic.

Viktor held his hand on the way to the station, on the train, and on the final taxi ride to their hotel.  They were warmly greeted by their host, a kind-looking, elderly woman named Mayuko. She gleefully guided them to their room, explaining everything there was to know on the way. “Good night. I’ll see you at breakfast,” she said, giving both Makkachin and Vicchan a loving pet on their heads.

“I didn’t expect this place to be so… different,” Yuuri later wondered, looking at Viktor with an amused expression. Viktor seemed to share his opinion as he nodded in agreement. There was only one king-sized bed in the room, but Yuuri couldn’t care less about the fact that this would be their first time sleeping in the same bed together. As soon as Yuuri stumbled out of the spacious bathroom, he fell into bed next to Viktor, who already seemed to be at the verge of falling asleep. Viktor put his arms around Yuuri’s middle and rested his face in his boyfriends’ neck, holding him gently. Yuuri closed his eyes and let sleep take him as he accustomed to the warm feeling in his chest. Makkachin and Vicchan were also lying next to each other at the foot of the bed, silently snoring as they slept.

When the Japanese woke up in the morning, their limbs were a tangled mess. Yuuri’s face was hidden in Viktor’s chest, whose arms were safely secured around the dark-haired male.

Yuuri couldn’t think of a way he would rather wake up in the morning. He sighed contently, deciding not to get up yet.

After an hour or so later, he got up to his complaining bladder rather than his own free will. When he returned from the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed, he found Viktor still lying in bed, fast asleep. Yuuri couldn’t find it in him to wake the peacefully sleeping man in front of him and decided to grab breakfast for both of them. It took some time to find the dining hall in the rather large building, but Yuuri didn’t mind. Some exercise in the morning never hurt, right?

The buffet laid out before him seemed endless, an infinite hoarding of foods from all around the world. Yuuri found it almost impossible to choose between the tasty-looking dishes. After twenty minutes of unsuccessful turning and directing through the rows of covered tables, Yuuri decided to go for the classic; a Croissant, coffee and some sandwiches.

It was hard manoeuvring their breakfast through the endless halls of the building, but Yuuri managed to reach their room without any incidents. As expected, Viktor was still sound asleep.

Yuuri set the filled plates down on the table before waking his boyfriend.

“Time to wake up, sleepy-head,” Yuuri tried, groaning when Viktor didn’t even stir. He decided to shake his shoulder, increasing his intensity when Viktor again wouldn’t wake. It took him ten minutes to get Viktor to at least groan a little as he was roused from his sleep.

It took ten minutes more to get Viktor to speak to him.

And five more minutes to pry the blanket away.

When he finally managed to get Viktor to sit down at the table, the coffee was cold already. Neither of them minded though. They mostly ate in silence, chatting now and then. “Is there anything planned for today?” Yuuri asked before taking another bite of his croissant. Viktor shook his head, “What would you like to do?” he asked, smiling warmly. Yuuri thought for a few seconds before responding: “How about we go into town a little? We could take Makka and Vicchan to the beach afterwards.” Viktor nodded, petting his poodles’ head.

Thirty minutes later, Yuuri was ready to go, whereas Viktor was pouting in a corner. “Viktor, it’s just a leash! We’ve brought another, see?” Yuuri demonstrated as he held up a light green leash. Viktor looked up for a moment but quickly returned his focus to one of the chairs in the corner he wailed in. “It was my favourite leash…,” Viktor muttered. Yuuri didn’t know if he should laugh at his boyfriends’ hilarious expression as he pouted over a simple leash.

“Viktor, it’s not like the leash is gone or anything, you simply  forgot to take it,” Yuuri tried to reassure. He crouched down opposite Viktor, taking his hand. “But you gave it to me…,” Viktor whispered. “How about I get you a new one?” Yuuri suggested. He turned around to face Makkachin. “Would you like that?” he asked the poodle who was happily wagging his tail in response.

They left the hotel just a short time after, hands intertwined while holding their dog’s leashes in the other. The walk ahead of them would take around an hour, giving the couple an opportunity to chat freely.

“Have you ever thought about moving to another country before?” Yuuri asked, the topic seemingly coming up out of nowhere. “Well, I’ve lived in Saint Petersburg for most of my life before we moved here. It was hard at first,” Viktor answered, smiling at a memory yet unknown to Yuuri.

“and I don’t remember much, but the gulls’ cries tend to remind me of home. My mother used to tell me stories of how I always wanted to fly with them,” Viktor added. Yuuri tried to picture a small Viktor in his head, smiling at the imagine.

“Viktor, is that you?” came someone’s call behind them. Yuuri immediately recognized the voice he would rather not hear again. Viktor, on the other hand, surprisingly seemed to struggle with adding a name to the new yet familiar voice. When they turned around, both of them were met with a more forced than happy smile from none other than Mila Babicheva. Though Yuuri was sure that the fake-smile was directed at him. Unexpectedly, she wasn’t alone. A dark-haired woman was with her.

“This is my friend, Sara Crispino,” Mila introduced, still wearing the strained smile. Sara smiled, a genuine smile, and bowed slightly. “Are you going somewhere, Viktor?” Mila asked, not even bothering to look at Yuuri. Viktor did nothing more than nod, clearly not wanting to be in the conversation for reasons Yuuri couldn’t put his finger on.

“Ah, what a coincidence! We were heading to town, too!” Mila informed them. Sara seemed confused, suddenly turning to Mila with a confused expression. “But I thought we wanted to—,” she began, but was interrupted by Mila’s slightly annoyed voice. “Yeah, change of plans,” she simply said. The dark-haired girl didn’t look happy in the slightest, but didn’t say anything else.

Yuuri didn’t want this. He didn’t want to have Mila around the whole day. He knew he was being selfish, but he wanted to spend the day with Viktor alone. “A-actually we’re on our way to our date..!” Yuuri interfered, flinching at the stammer in his voice.

“A date?” Mila said. Judged by her expression, Mila didn’t believe Yuuri’s prior statement as she narrowed her eyes. And as if on call, Viktor interrupted, saving Yuuri from his misery. “Indeed, so if you’d excuse us?” Viktor’s voice seemed tight, strained with annoyance, even.

Mila tried to cover her shock with a smile that seemed a lot more forced than all the other ones combined. Instead of saying something, she kept quiet, tugged at Sara’s hand to symbolize her that it was time to go. The girl seemed to understand, and, much to Mila’s dismay, turned to face Yuuri and Viktor to bid them goodbye before giving in to Mila’s constant tugging and whispering.

“A date, huh? Viktor stated as he took hold of Yuuri’s hand once more. Yuuri blushed deeply in response to Viktor’s words. “It was the first thing that came into my mind- so, um..,” Yuuri mumbled. Viktor chuckled. “I look forward to it.” Yuuri smiled as relief flooded over him. Being in a relationship was still new to him, but he slowly started to get comfortable with the knowledge.

Makkachin barked as soon as the town came into sight. Viktor and Yuuri leashed their dogs before entering through the Medieval-like gates. The town was buzzing with life, Yuuri could spend hours just taking in all the different smells, voices and colours. They could see the ocean blending together with the horizon from where they stood. “I need a picture of this,” Yuuri said as he searched for his phone, releasing a quiet ‘ah’ as he finally took hold of it.

After he took several pictures, he opened his gallery to marvel at his work. After silently praising himself for the pictures, which, by the way, turned out pretty fine, he looked up to find Viktor staring at him. The Russian stared at him in astonishment with mouth opened slightly. “Is something wrong?” Yuuri asked, unsure of how to feel as he was observed so closely.

“Nothing. Just thinking about how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you,” Viktor whispered, lovingly reaching out to cradle Yuuri’s cheek. Yuuri leaned into the touch closing his eyes as he felt warmth spread through him like an arrow. “I’m nothing compared to you. Have you ever looked into the mirror?” Yuuri replied, giving Viktor’s hand a warm squeeze.

Viktor leaned in to brush a soft kiss to Yuuri’s lips. And if Yuuri could decide, he would luckily relive this moment for the rest of his life. The sun made Viktor’s eyes shine magically, their brightness making the ocean look dull in comparison. The wind carded through his silky, platinum hair that softly tickled Yuuri every time they kissed.

Everything about this moment was perfect, magical, even. They were dragged out of their moment by Makkachin and Vicchan demanding to continue the walk. Yuuri leaned in to kiss Viktor one last time before they took up their pace again, heading to a small shop.

“Let’s buy those!” Yuuri said as he held up a pair of silver bracelets. Viktor turned to look at them, immediately agreeing to Yuuri’s suggestion.

“Thank you, for everything,” Yuuri fondly whispered as he closed the bracelet around Viktor’s arm. Viktor was blushing slightly, returning the gesture before pressing a soft kiss to Yuuri’s forehead. “I love you,” he mumbled in his ear, “so much.”

The ocean was glimmering behind them, and Yuuri slowly pulled on Viktor’s sleeve, “let’s go down there!” he suggested.

They walked along the shore in comfortable silence, appreciating the beautiful scenery. Their dogs were playing catch with the water, joyfully barking.

And for the rest of the day, Yuuri fondly looked at the bracelet that shone beautifully every time sunrays fell upon it. _Coming here was a good decision_ he noted to himself before falling asleep to the steady breathing of his boyfriend.

 

* * *

 

Viktor woke up to the steady rise and fall of the man lying next to him. He smiled, trying to remember even the tiniest of details from Yuuri’s sleeping face as it was touched by the soft sunrays of the morning sun. The light was peeking in brightly through the curtains, illuminating their room softly. The birds were singing to the sound of the ocean’s waves, creating the melody of morning.

The Russian stroked Yuuri’s hair before pressing a gentle kiss on the Japanese’ forehead.

The last day had arrived, leaving Viktor in a gloomy mood. He didn’t want to go, he didn’t want the time he’d spent with Yuuri to become nothing but a cherished memory. If he had the might, he would choose to  stay like this forever. With Yuuri, here in this lovely little town, living in a small cottage by the ocean.

He took one last glance at Yuuri before getting up to grab breakfast, just like Yuuri did the previous day. Makkachin eagerly trotted after him, demanding his unshared attention. Viktor crouched down, in the middle of the halls, to stroke Makkachin behind his fluffy, brown ears. The poodle approvingly barked in response, wagging his tail happily.

Viktor told Makkachin to stay put before entering the dining hall. He, too, found it almost impossible to decide which foods to try.

In the end, he headed back to their room with a multicoloured plate filled with all kinds of food.

When Viktor entered their room, he found Yuuri already sitting at the table, stroking Vicchan’s head. The Japanese lovingly smiled at him before rousing to meet Viktor halfway. Viktor kissed Yuuri softly, his damp hair cool to the touch. “How should we spend our last day, my Solnyshko?” Viktor asked, putting all the love he felt for the man sitting across him in one question.

“Why don’t we stay here? See what they have to offer?” Yuuri suggested, smiling at Viktor with his beautiful, hazel-brown eyes.

They walked the dogs along the beach before heading back to spend the day in the hotel’s SPA area. Their dogs were taken care of  in the pet’s care.

Viktor couldn’t remember a moment in which he felt more relaxed. Yuuri and him just went for a swim in the pool and were now chilling on the loungers, savouring the last precious hours of their weekend. The Russian was reminded with Yuuri’s request of transferring to the Medical Department a few months prior and couldn’t help worrying about it again.

Viktor had constantly spotted Yuuri sitting with his face hidden in a medical book somewhere around the house. He knew how much he wanted this, but Viktor couldn’t just not worry about it. He feared that it might become too much for Yuuri who was kind and loving and everything good there was in the world they lived in.

“Viktor?” Yuuri asked, “Are you okay? You seemed absent lately.” Viktor brushed it off, not wanting to worry Yuuri on a day like this. The dark-haired male didn’t look like he believed him, quite the opposite, but he didn’t ask any more questions.

“I miss Vicchan,” Yuuri then said. Viktor turned to look at Yuuri to find the big, brown eyes he loved so much staring back at him. “Let’s pick them up, then. How do you feel about going to the beach one last time? We could grab something for dinner after,” Viktor suggested. No answer was needed as Yuuri’s face told Viktor everything he had to know.

They quickly got dressed and headed to the dog care afterwards. Makkachin and Vicchan started barking as soon as they saw their beloved owners, sensing that they came to pick them up. Yuuri was busy hugging the dogs as Viktor paid the worker, thanking her for keeping an eye on their companions.

They headed for the ocean, accompanied by the sun beginning to withdraw its rays. A beautiful reflection of the sun was shimmering at the horizon, golden and bright and breathtakingly beautiful.

Viktor didn’t want to leave this place of eternal peace behind, didn’t want to return to the town he grew bored of. But there was something giving him hope; for he knew that Yuuri would be by his side, that Yuuri would stay by him even in his darkest days. Yuuri would give him all the strength he needed to fulfil his dream. And perhaps, they would soon work for their dream together.

They were holding hands, as they always did, but the feeling of their hands intertwined hasn’t lost its magic ever since the first day. It was a wonderful feeling, full of love and warmth, and Viktor never wanted to be without it again.

“You should do it,” Viktor suddenly said. He stopped to cup Yuuri’s face, pressing their foreheads together. “And when you pass the transfer examinations, I promise we’ll go on a date together. As many dates as you like. And we’ll eat Katsudon,” Viktor whispered. And then Yuuri looked at him like he was the only thing in the world that mattered, and Viktor was sure he felt his heart burst with love for this beautiful, gorgeous man.

They returned to their hotel when the sun had fully set and neither of them could see clearly anymore, happily laughing with their hands still locked tightly. They had dinner together before heading back to their room to start packing, stealing sweet kisses from each other in between.  

For Viktor, the moment of their departure arrived way too soon. They followed their morning routine one last time, walked the dogs and were soon on their train home. Yuuri was asleep with his head resting against the window. The glass reflected the male’s soft features as he slept. Viktor watched him for a while before deciding to sleep a little himself.

He rested his head on Yuuri’s shoulder and found himself dozing off only a few minutes after.

When they arrived home, they were warmly greeted by the soft hugs of their family, telling them how empty the house felt without them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Yuuri was studying harder than he had ever before, the transfer exams were coming up and he was more than determined to pass them! Viktor’s promise was spurring him on, his love making Yuuri stronger for the exhausting months that lay ahead of him. With Viktor by his side, he felt strong enough to conquer all!

… Or not.

Yuuri was gaping at the results, his determined brain still in shock. Apparently, Viktor’s love hadn’t been enough to make him pass.

Long story short: Yuuri failed.

 

_Could this be someone’s conspiracy to break Viktor and me up?_

_Or is this a marital test of love from God?_

 

Phichit was trying to cheer him up, but Yuuri wasn’t listening. How should he tell Viktor?

And in that very moment, the voice he didn’t want to hear shouted his name happily. Yuuri turned around, grumpily staring at Viktor. Viktor’s happy face fell and was replaced with a frown. He seemed to know what happened, but instead of taking a look at the board, he put his arms around Yuuri, guiding him away. “Let’s have Katsudon tonight!” he happily suggested, acting as if Yuuri didn’t just fail the transfer exam.

And so it happened that just the two of them were sitting at the nicely decorated table, chatting freely whilst eating Katsudon.

“Don’t worry, Yuuri. You’ll pass it next year. And to what I said to you, my promise still stands,” Viktor said warmly. Yuuri couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, wondering what he did to deserve someone like Viktor.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“You may begin.”

Yuuri quickly turned the paper around, as soon as he finished reading the first question, he began to write down his answer. He couldn’t fail again this year! Especially after all the tutoring sessions from Viktor and Phichit. On some nights, the sentences, facts and figures continued haunting him even in his dreams, chasing him around the area he had always considered his safe-zone.

 

“Finally finished,” Yuuri moaned, resting his head on the cool surface of the table. Georgi, who decided to start working after they finished Highschool, came walking into the room, carrying lots of delicious smelling dishes. “Thanks, Georgi,” Yuuri said as he started eating, doubling his pace as noticed how hungry he really was.

They hadn’t spoken much ever since Georgi proposed to him, but luckily for Georgi, he found someone new. “What was her name again?” Yuuri asked after downing a plate of Omurice.

Georgi looked up, his expression softening as he answered: “Anya.” Yuuri smiled as he continued eating. The Japanese was honestly happy for  him, he knew, after all, how kind and loving he was. He deserved someone who was just as happy to love him back. “How are things going between you and that Hektor?” Georgi asked, seemingly interested.

“It’s Viktor,” Yuuri corrected with a smile on his face. “Well, we’ve been together for quite some time now.. I sometimes wake up in the morning and wonder how someone like me could ever have someone like him.” Georgi nodded as if he knew exactly what Yuuri meant. “I know that feeling. But you shouldn’t think so low of yourself, Yuuri. I haven’t loved you for almost four years for nothing, after all.” Georgi was smiling, but Yuuri could see the hurt in his smile, painfully engraved in his soul.

“I’m sorry, Georgi,” Yuuri whispered, unable to meet the Russian’s eyes. “Don’t worry. I probably wouldn’t have met my princess if Hektor hadn’t acted as he did,” Georgi replied honestly.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Yuuri woke up the morning after his exam, he found Viktor’s side of the bed empty. The bed felt cold without Viktor lying beside him. Yuuri decided to get up, expecting to find Viktor downstairs. He quickly showered before heading down to greet his family. When he walked through the door, he immediately agreed with himself that he never wanted to the expression on his mother’s face again.

Hiroko was frowning, looking like she was just at the verge of tears. Yuuri didn’t want to ask what had happened, but his brain was yelling at him to find out what the problem was.

Just as he opened his mouth to ask, he heard two male voices coming from the balcony. One clearly belonged to his father, but he couldn’t assign the other thickly accented voice. He didn’t know if the conversation was meant for his ears, but Yuuri couldn’t help listening.

“We’re grateful for what you did, Mr. Katsuki. But my wife and I have decided to take Viktor in again, so he will no longer require your services. And neither will I.”

Yuuri felt all the blood drain from his face as the first tears fell. He felt his knees collapse under him. His head was ringing, his sight blurry from the tears that were still streaming down his face. His mother crouched down beside him, putting her arms around him as she stroked his hair. She didn’t even try reassuring him with calming words because she knew that no words could ease the pain.

“We decided to take him back to Russia for the time being so that he can go to a university worthy of his standards.”

Yuuri couldn’t contain himself anymore, loud, heart-breaking sobs echoed through the house as Yuuri felt his heart shatter and dreams vanish.

The Japanese was crying, trying to break free as the door burst open, revealing Viktor with a face similar to Yuuri’s. He crashed into Yuuri’s arms, hugging him as tightly as he could, stroking his hair and whispering soft, Russian words into his ear. Yuuri clung to Viktor as if he was the only thing that could save him from the raging storm inside of him, his guardian in times of darkness.

And in so many ways, Viktor was. Viktor was the only one who could have saved him, but as soon as his father came into sight, he froze. He slowly let go of Yuuri, not raising his head once as the tears flowed again. The look in the man’s eyes could be easily described outraged, radiating bitterness as he glared at his own son with disgust.

The man violently grabbed his son and dragged him out of the door.

Shortly before Viktor disappeared out of Yuuri’s sight, he mouthed one last word.

 

_“Goodbye.“_

 

And Yuuri’s soul shattered into pieces.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri didn’t know for how long he laid in bed, crying and questioning destiny.

 

_I am colourblind_

 

His mother, his father, Mari… They all tried to cheer him up, and they all failed.

 

_Coffee black and egg white_

 

Yuuri felt empty, robbed of what kept him going.

 

_Pull me out from inside_

 

Robbed of the person that kept him going.

 

_I am ready_

 

Robbed of the love he so desperately needed.

 

_I am ready_

 

Robbed of his happiness.

 

_I am ready_

 

Robbed of his soul.

 

_I am_

 

Robbed of his heart.

 

_Taffy stuck and tongue tied_

 

He had passed his exams

 

_Stutter shook and uptight_

 

But lost his impulsion

 

_Pull me out from inside_

 

He wanted to feel Viktor’s lips against his

 

_I am ready_

 

But he didn’t even know how he looked anymore

 

_I am ready_

 

All he saw was sadness as it wept inside him

 

_I am ready_

 

For his lost love and lost soul

 

_I am_

 

And another tear fell

 

_Fine._

 

And Yuuri yearned for his touch.

 

* * *

 

 

“Yuuri?” Phichit asked softly as he entered Yuuri’s barely lit room, “I’ve brought Vicchan.” Phichit carefully sat down on Yuuri’s bed, yet unsure if his best friend was awake at all. Vicchan whined silently, licking his owner’s face lightly. “Viktor’s mother called this morning. She said  that Viktor’s fine. He misses you, too, you know?” Phichit informed him, his voice barely above a whisper. “Yuuri,” Phichit sighed sadly, “You know that Viktor wouldn’t want this.” The only answer the Thai boy got was deafening silence. Vicchan curled in beside Yuuri, snoring softly. Phichit knew Yuuri was awake because he could see his hand shaking while tenderly stroking the poodles’ soft fur. “I’ll come back later, okay?” Phichit asked, not even expecting an answer anymore. He got up and left the room. He could hear Yuuri gently speaking to Vicchan. His voice sounded hoarse and broken and it pained Phichit to see his best friend in such a state.

“You miss Makkachin, don’t you? I miss him, too. So, so much,” Yuuri mumbled, his eyes were burning from all the crying and his tears refused to come, he probably didn’t even have any left. But somehow, Yuuri couldn’t care less about his inability to cry. All he wanted was Viktor, Viktor, Viktor…

He missed Makkachin so much. He missed Viktor so much. He missed his smile, his eyes, his voice.

His love.

His warmth.

His passion.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The flight to Russia was spent in unbearable silence. His father was sitting a few rows behind him, avoiding contact at all costs. Viktor didn’t recognize the man he considered his hero as a child. He didn’t recognize the man he had always thought to be gentle, loving, and caring.

At least until he threw him out, that one night a few years ago. His father had caught him kissing another man, just for the excitement of doing it. He didn’t take it well, had a raging-fit in the middle of the hallway and didn’t calm down even at his mother’s tries. “I will never,” he spat through clinched teeth, “accept a gay as my son.”

Upon moving in with Yuuri, he had been afraid. He hadn’t known what to think of the boy he thought he’d found a friend in. He was confused, scared and hurt by his father’s actions. He hadn’t known how to feel, too afraid to even feel at all.

 

* * *

 

 

Viktor was staring out the window, suppressing his tears as he thought back to the man he left behind. He thought back to what happened only a few hours prior, when he woke up in the morning, next to his sweet, wonderful Yuuri with no care in the world. Never had he expected to find the man he never wanted to see again standing in their kitchen with a murderous glare. Never had he expected to get dragged out the house he considered his home by the man whose voice Viktor never wanted to hear again. Never had he expected to be forced to go back to Russia by the man whose violent grip he never wanted to feel again.

When he heard Yuuri’s broken sobs, he felt something break in him, too. When he saw Yuuri’s tear-stained face, he felt his heart burst. When he felt Yuuri’s arms around him and knew that it would be the last time, he felt his soul shatter.

But his father had only laughed. His father had dragged him into his car and headed straight for the airport. Viktor had cried, pleaded, prayed for him to stop.

But he didn’t.

At least he still had his Makkachin.

Because his father knew much his mother loved poodles. Viktor rested his head against the cool glass, shutting his eyes closed. He imagined Yuuri, the way he looked, the way he sounded, the way he smelled. He pictured his soft, happy expression as his whole face lit up into the smile he loved.

Would he ever get to see that smile again?

Viktor didn’t know.

He looked down on his wrist that felt empty without the bracelets Yuuri had given him. The bracelets that sealed their love

 

* * *

 

 

When the plane landed, his mother was there to greet him. She wanted to hug him as her tears fell, but his father pried her away from his disappointment of a son. Viktor wondered if they’d live in Russia again now.

But he didn’t want to. Not when the person he needed most was so far away from him.

His father bought a new mansion it seemed. A luxurious building, but Viktor knew he would never feel at home there.

Just as he never felt at home in their old one.

His father wanted to speak to him privately. And so Viktor sat in front of him, never meeting the eyes of the man who had taken everything from him.

“I don’t want to make this longer than it must, so don’t you dare speak up to me even once,” his father began. “You are aware of the shame you have brought upon our family, how much of a disgrace and disappointment you are. But I give you a chance to restore your honour. You are to be married within the next two weeks. Your mother and I have already chosen a few fitting brides from wealthy families. Don’t disappoint me again,” as soon as the last words were spoken, his father turned around and left the room, leaving Viktor to his thunderous thoughts.

“Vitya?” his mother asked gently from where she stood. Viktor fell to his knees, sobbing. He felt his mothers’ arms around him, hugging him tightly. How he had missed the warmth of her love. “I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this,” Viktor cried, clinging to her more tightly. “I know, darling. I know. I promise you that I will try everything in my might to get you back to him,” his mother said with her warm, soothing voice. Viktor’s eyes widened. “I always thought you were embarrassed of me.”

He felt her arms tighten even more. “I could never be embarrassed of you, Vitya. If Yuuri is whom you truly want to spend the rest of your life with, then so be it. Your happiness is the only thing that truly matters to me, Vitya, you must never forget that. ”

So she knew.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“This is finally it, I guess,” Yuuri muttered as he stood in front of the Medical Department building. “My first step towards becoming a nurse starts today.”

**Medical Dept. - Room C**

_“In the second year of nursing, we will begin practical training. For that purpose, you will now work together in groups of five. To ensure that you establish strong bonds of communication…._

Yuuri unwillingly let the voice of the teacher fade out as he looked at the woman sitting next to him. She had beautiful, dark hair and bright, stunning eyes. He turned to his right and looked at a man who looked to be slightly younger than him. He wore a jacket over his T-shirt with “JJ” printed on it. He was on his phone, texting someone. “It’s Katsuki Yuuri, right?” came a soft voice from his left. His eyes locked with those of the dark-haired woman. Yuuri nodded. “You just transferred over, right?” she asked. “Y-Yes, I’m Yuuri Katsuki, nice to meet you!”, Yuuri introduced, slightly bowing his head. “Likewise. I’m Anya Popovich,” the woman introduced herself. “Y-you?!” Yuuri shrieked, mentally hitting himself for his response. “Yes, I immediately recognized you after everything Georgi told me about you,” Anya answered with a smile on his lips. “I’m JJ Leroy,” came a confident, arrogant voice from behind. JJ was holding up his fingers, forming ‘JJ’ as he smiled conceitedly.

Yuuri couldn’t help but dislike him instantly. Unfortunately, JJ continued talking, his words only increasing his dislike towards him. “My dream is to marry a doctor and move up in social status.”

“You’re still thinking of such things?” came a loud, annoyed voice that Yuuri hadn’t heard yet. “Don’t to go into nursing with that irresponsible attitude of yours!”

JJ grinned, standing up and answering: “I like intelligent women!”

“I want my wife to give birth to superior children in the future!”

“Nursing is an altruistic and sacred job! It’s putting the future of others ahead of your own!”

And so the argument continued until JJ seemingly had enough. The man sat down and took out his phone to chat once more. The other man turned to look at him, introducing himself as Emil Nekola. Apparently, it had always been his dream to become the country’s number one nurse. Suddenly, another face appeared, smiling sweetly at Yuuri, who at this point, wanted nothing more than to leave this place. “Michelle Crispino, nice to meet you.”

 

 

Over the next weeks, they slowly started to become friends, working for their dream together. And every night, Yuuri sat at his desk, writing letters in which he told Viktor what he learned that day. The pain was still there, the hole Viktor left behind a constant presence in Yuuri’s day. One day, Yuuri hoped, he would be able to see him again.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**2 years later**

 

“It’s almost time, isn’t it?” Michelle asked excitedly. Anya nodded in agreement. Yuuri was excited as well. In one week’s time, they would have their capping-ceremony. In one week’s time, Yuuri’s dream would finally become reality. But a part of him was missing, making his happiness incomplete. He hadn’t heard Viktor’s voice for over two years, and he slowly found himself struggling to remember the sound of it. All Yuuri had left was the bracelet Viktor had given him. He wanted Viktor to be there when he gets to call himself a nurse for the first time, to listen to his speech… He wanted Viktor to be the first one to see him in his gown.

After the ceremony, Yuuri would begin his internship at the hospital. Had everything happened according to their plan, Viktor would be there, too.

Had everything happened the way Yuuri hoped it would, Viktor would be lying next to him in bed, holding him until he fell asleep and bestowing him with sweet, gentle kisses in the morning.

But it didn’t.

And every morning, Yuuri continued to wake up in his- their bed, hopes shattered that everything had been nothing but a nightmare.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

‘Even the atmosphere feels nervous,’ Yuuri thought. ‘I can tell that everyone is nervous.’

_“Katsuki Yuuri!”_

“Yes!” Yuuri replied, rousing from his seat. As he walked down the aisle, his thoughts again drifted to Viktor. “I feel like I’ve become a little closer to you, Viktor.”

And so Yuuri stood proudly, the nurse’s gown feeling like his shining armour.

_I solemnly pledge myself before God and in the presence of this assembly to pass my life in purity and to practice my profession faithfully._

_I will abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous and will not take or knowingly administer any harmful drug._

_I will do all in my power to maintain and elevate the standard of my profession and will hold in confidence all personal matters committed to my keeping and all my family affairs coming to my knowledge in the practice of my calling._

_‘Viktor, can you hear me?_

_I hope I will be able to be with you again in the future._

_I promise to always do my best._

_Even if you’re not by my side anymore.”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Vitya! We have to go!” came his mother’s agitated voice. Viktor sat up in shock, frantically looking around to find the source of the familiar voice. He found his mother standing in the threshold of his door and instantly Viktor knew that something must have happened. His mother had a swollen eye, dark bruises forming around it. Viktor was certain that his father did this.

“Quickly, we have to go!” she whispered, gesturing for him to come. Viktor slipped on his shoes and a light cardigan before dashing out the door, following his mother to the emergency exit.

A black car was already waiting for them when they came crashing through the doors. They quickly got in, his mother spoke in rapid-fire Russian, giving the driver directions. “Vitya, we don’t have much time so I want you to listen to me. We’re heading to the airport. You’re going back to Japan. Follow your dreams and finish your studies, become a doctor. You have my blessings and my approval of following your plan, but I want you to stay true to yourself. Yakov is accompanying you to Japan to ensure your safety, and don’t worry about Makkachin. He should be waiting at the airport already.”

“Mother…,” Viktor stuttered, his voice breaking. “I love you so much, Viktor. Don’t worry about me, okay? I’ll be fine. I’ll call every day for as long as you want, darling.” There were tears in her eyes, threatening to fall. Viktor hugged his mother tightly, thanking her over and over again.

 

‘Wait for me, Yuuri.’

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Viktor was dashing down the familiar street, Yakov’s complaining yells only a dull sound in the distance. He could already see the house, he just  wanted to run faster but his legs were already burning, aching from all the running. He pressed the doorbell as soon as he reached the entrance.

“Who’s there?” came Hiroko’s voice from the other side of the speaker and it was the best thing Viktor heard in months.

“I’m home,” he whispered.

He would always remember the screams that followed. Not only five seconds after, the doors were opened and Hiroko crashed into his arms. She was crying and laughing at the same time, calling for her husband and Mari to come downstairs, not long after he was greeted with joyous hugs. But after a few minutes,  Hiroko’s eyes went wide.

“It’s Yuuri’s capping ceremony tonight.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Yuuri was sitting in the dimly lit church long after everyone had left. His mind was far away, floating in the eternity of his imagination.

Suddenly, he heard the doors being opened. He knew that normally no one would come here at this time of night. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. Yuuri was terrified, fearing for his life as he was hiding behind one of the benches. He spotted a forgotten crouch lying beside him and quickly took hold of it as he rouse to his full height. He knew he had to sound confident, to scare the intruder away!

“Show yourself!” Yuuri demanded, clutching the crouch more tightly.

 

A dark figure was coming nearer, its face slowly becoming visible as the candle’s light fell upon it.

 

Yuuri’s heart stopped as the crouch fell to the ground.

 

Viktor was looking at him with tears shining in his eyes. His hair was dishevelled, and he seemed to be still in his pyjamas with only a cardigan to spend him warmth. “Yuuri…,” the Russian whispered as he opened his arms.

 

And it was the best thing Yuuri’s ever heard.

 

Without thinking, he dashed into Viktor’s open arms.

 

And he felt whole again.

 

Because Viktor was there.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri was a crying mess, clinging to Viktor as if his life depended on it. He wanted to touch every perfect part of him, he wanted to hear his beautiful, soothing voice and he wanted to kiss him until they both were out of breath. But most importantly, he wanted to stay in Viktor’s arms forever, where he felt safe and protected. He missed the feeling of their bodies pressed together as they comforted each other through hard times. But Viktor’s kisses had much more meaning to it.

Viktor would hug him even when he felt fine, at times he least expected to receive the loving gesture. He knew that Viktor was naturally clingy and affectionate, but he loved him even more for it. Because at times Yuuri didn’t know how to go on, Viktor would be there to guide the way to safety. In times he thought his heart would burst with anxiety, Viktor was there to hold him until he could breathe normally again. In times he thought the stress would devour him whole, Viktor was there to encourage him that it was worth it. And Yuuri was thankful for every gesture, every word and every touch, no matter how small.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Viktor whispered into his shoulder, gently caressing his hair. In response, Yuuri could only cling to him tighter. He was aware that they’d have to talk about what happened. After all, two whole years had passed without them hearing from each other. But at that moment, Yuuri couldn’t care less. All that mattered to him was the man in his arms. The man who hasn’t stopped loving him even when life wanted to tear them apart.

“I love you,” Yuuri whispered. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” He couldn’t stop saying it, the taste of the still familiar words on his lips was encouraging, refreshing, filling him with dreams he hadn’t dared to wish for. “I love you too, more than you could ever know,” Viktor answered, voice hoarse from crying for so long.

Both of them were at their worst, still crying and clinging to each other for dear life, but neither of them would rather be somewhere else.

The candle that Yuuri had been holding was lying on the ground a few paces away, long forgotten as he crashed into Viktor’s arms. Even though Yuuri couldn’t see Viktor’s face, he knew that he must have seen it from where he stood. His thoughts were proven correct when Viktor retreated to gather the candle in his hands. He held it gently, carefully, like it was as fragile as glass that can easily be broken.

 Viktor approached Yuuri again, pride glimmering in his eyes. He came to a stop in front of Yuuri, who slightly bowed his head. The Russian pressed a kiss to his forehead and stroked Yuuri’s cheek with the utmost care, making Yuuri feel like a king at his coronation. “Let me hear your speech, Yuuri,” Viktor smiled, his eyes watery again. He held Yuuri’s hand to guide him down the aisle. He sat down on the bench in the first row, looking at Yuuri like he was the most beautiful man in the world.

Yuuri began speaking, even though his voice was hoarse and breaking on the edges, he put all his passion, love and emotion in his vows.

They didn’t stop holding hands for the rest of the day, for it was Yuuri’s confirmation that Viktor was still there with him. And when they laid in bed that night, Yuuri finally felt complete again. He listened to Viktor’s soft breathing and wondered what the next days would bring.

He wondered what destiny had in store for them. But whatever it might be, Yuuri knew that he was ready to face the world with Viktor by his side.

And for the first time in two years, his dreams were a place where the beauty of day continued.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I  just want you to know that we don’t have to rush this. I don’t want to pressure you even more,” Yuuri said, looking into Viktor’s eyes.

“You need to know. It wouldn’t be fair otherwise,” Viktor replied, insecurity clear in his voice.

“My father brought me back to Saint Petersburg. He bought a new, much safer mansion for us to live in. It was on the first day that he told me of his plans. He-,” Viktor’s voice broke. “He wanted to force me into marriage. Only a few days later, I met the person who was supposed to become my wife. Her name was Isabella, and one look at her told me that she didn’t want this. She never met my eyes when we talked. And she despised Makkachin.

She never said more than she had to, and she never touched me. Not even once. I wrote you so many letters I’d lost count, I wanted to send them but to no avail. After only three weeks, I was desperate to hear your voice again. My mother tried to be there for me, but she, too, was suffering from my father’s violent hands. I told her about my dream, the goal I was aiming for. And she promised me she’d talk to him. I- I had to swear it, on my life- that I would marry Isabella and take over his legacy. He allowed me to continue my studies, said it might be helpful in the future.

I married her, Yuuri. On our wedding day, she never once smiled. And neither did I. I felt bad for it, but I couldn’t get the imagine of you standing there instead of her out of my head.

She moved in with us the day after the wedding, but her heart seemed to break even more with each day that passed. She didn’t love me, and I didn’t love her. We never slept in the same bed, we never talked to each other. Apart from important meetings, we never spent time together.

It was her father that broke the treaty. I could see the grief in his eyes whenever he looked at his daughter. I could feel the sorrow, the guilt he felt. My father was outraged, fuming with anger. The moment she bid her goodbyes was the first time she looked at me in almost two years. I didn’t dare feel relieved, because I knew that he wouldn’t stop searching for a fitting bride even if he were on his deathbed.

It was a cold morning in late December when my mother wanted to speak to me. When she delivered the news.. I broke out in tears because I thought that I could finally come back to you. He died, Yuuri. His funeral took place on the first day of January, and for me it felt like a whole new beginning. It was only the day after that guards hired by him appeared at our gates. They were meant to ensure that I took over the legacy, Yuuri. But my mother promised me that she would find a way to get us out of there.

And that’s why Yakov’s here. For my mother, he was something like a confidant. He promised her that he would do anything to help us escape, and he did. Without him, we wouldn’t have gotten out. My mother’s staying at friends of Yakov’s, but I hope I’ll get to see her again soon,” Viktor finished, finally granting his tears permission to fall. “Do you hate me?” he asked, looking up at Yuuri with his sad, sad eyes.

“I could never hate you, Viktor. Especially not for something you didn’t want to,” Yuuri whispered, pulling Viktor in his arms. “I love you,” Yuuri mumbled in his ear.

“Are you going to continue your studies?“ Yuuri asked after a long while of much-needed silence. He felt Viktor nod against him. “I’m glad,” Yuuri answered, feeling hope flatter in his chest.

“I guess I have to take you out twice, hm? Let me think of something worthy for my beloved Yuuri.”

“I love you, lyubov moya,” Viktor whispered tenderly.

Yuuri chuckled. “What does that mean?”

“My love.”

Maybe Yuuri’s dreams would become reality after all.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Yuuri was proudly standing in front of the hospital, fully taking in the sight of his new workplace. He strengthened himself with a few words of encouragement before heading inside to begin his first day as a nurse.

 

Being a white-gowned angel, as Yuuri later realized, wasn’t as easy as he imagined it would. Yuuri had gone lost in the endless halls of the hospital thrice on his first day. On his second day, he met Yoshida-San, an elderly woman who constantly shooed him around. One day it was juice she craved, the next it was soda. No matter how hard Yuuri tried, he just couldn’t please her.

Night shifts were, by far, the worst. Complaining patients, emergency after emergency, teenagers with alcohol poisoning, the list was endless.

On Saturday evening, Yuuri was mentally preparing for the worst day of his life. The whole week had been terrible, his unrestrained joy replaced by incomprehensible misfortune. Of course, being reunited with Viktor was a dream come true, giving Yuuri strength to always do his best, but his first days as a nurse were far from fulfilling. His anxiety was his constant companion, an invisible force that was slowing him down, making him stutter in front of patients and stumble in the halls.

Yuuri had prayed for the weekend to arrive, hoping it would restore his luck. He had a date with Viktor tonight and it just needed to go perfectly. Much to Phichit’s approval, he had his hair gelled back, and his glasses were lying folded on the desk. Phichit insisted on not wearing them, saying Yuuri looked hotter without them. If someone asked Yuuri, he wouldn’t even agree with ‘being hot’ in the first place.

The Japanese’ sight was blurry, limited due to him not wearing his glasses. Yuuri didn’t want to risk anything, so he decided to bring them along. “Better safe than sorry, right?” he told Phichit as they skyped.

A knock on the door made Yuuri shriek. He looked at his reflection in the mirror one last time before heading for the door. He was greeted with Viktor, who looked undeniably stunning, like a prince straight out of a fairy-tale. Viktor looked at him, his cheeks slightly reddening. “You look beautiful, zolotse,” he said, holding up his arm for Yuuri to take. Yuuri returned the compliment as they headed down the stairs. Hiroko insisted on taking a photo of them,  though Yuuri was sure that it must have been at least forty.

As soon as Yuuri registered the black limousine, his eyes went wide. The chauffeur opened the door with a bow. Viktor continued holding Yuuri’s hand as they climbed inside the luxurious vehicle.

“V-Viktor! You didn’t have to—,” Yuuri was cut off by Viktor’s hand on his lips. “Only the best for you, _darling_.” The drive to their destination would take a bit longer, so Viktor apparently thought it necessary to open an expensive bottle of Champagne. Yuuri knew he probably shouldn’t drink after all he tended to get quite… affectionate when drunk. But somehow Viktor managed to convince him otherwise. “Don’t worry, Yuuri, I’ll protect you!” he said, smiling widely as he pronounced a toast for their following date.

When they arrived at their destination, Viktor covered Yuuri’s eyes with a blindfold, carefully guiding him to his surprise. After a few minutes, Viktor gently turned Yuuri around to remove the blindfold, covering his eyes with his hands as he quickly checked the location. After the Russian was convinced that everything he had ordered was there, he whispered into Yuuri’s ear, “You can open your eyes now, love.”

Yuuri’s eyes went wide as soon as he adjusted to the beautiful scene in front of him. At the shoreline stood a table, lit by candles and decorated with red and white roses. The lake was reflecting the moon’s surface, fireflies swirling in the air. A white piano stood a few metres away from the table, accompanied by a violin.

Yuuri was overwhelmed, speechless as his heart was flooded with love for the man standing next to him. He looked into Viktor’s eyes, flashing his brightest smile as he embraced Viktor with all his love. Yuuri felt Viktor relax against his shoulder as he released a breath. “Thank you,” Yuuri mumbled into the other man’s hair.

Viktor guided him to the table and sat down across Yuuri. The Russian even hired trained waiters to serve them. They were served a three course dinner, and Yuuri was sure it was more expensive than what Yuuri ate in a whole week. But the Japanese could honestly, genuinely say that he enjoyed himself. The surrounding atmosphere was magical, soothing his nerves after a stressful week.

After they ate, the talked for a while, simply enjoying each other’s company.

 

At some point throughout the night, a woman appeared to play the violin. Yuuri was surprised when Viktor stood up, thinking it was already time to go. He was even more surprised when Viktor headed for the piano, looking at Yuuri as he sat down. His hands hovered over the keys for a moment, waiting for the violinist to begin.

As soon as Viktor joined in, Yuuri’s eyes widened at the strangely familiar sound. The tunes they created were mesmerizing, and Yuuri felt like a spell had been cast on him, snatching him away from this world into one of purity and peace. Another man appeared, sitting down beside Viktor to take over as Viktor rouse to his feet.

Yuuri felt his heartbeat quicken as Viktor came to a stop in front of him.

The first tears fell when Viktor got down on one knee, taking out a small, black box. He slowly opened it, revealing a glittering silver band.

“Ever since I was a kid, people looked up to me because of my talent, my looks, or my family’s wealth. I never knew the feeling of true friendship, nor the feeling of true love. I always thought I was nothing but a mere machine, functioning but not living. But when I met you, you showed me the meaning of trust, the beauty of friendship and the splendour feeling of love. Ever since the beginning, I wanted you to stay close to me. You taught me how to live; you taught me how to love myself and others. You encouraged me to fight for my dreams, and I couldn’t be more grateful. I know I never have to search again, because everything I need, I have found in you.

 

Katsuki Yuuri, will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?”

 

* * *

 

 

 

_I, Katsuki Yuuri, have finally become Viktor’s husband!_

_I am still in denial that this actually happened!_

_Blessed by everyone, it was a wedding ceremony filled with many tears of happiness._

_When we gave our vows, a combination between_ Viktor’s and my song was playing.

_After Viktor proposed he told me the song’s name for the first time._

_It’s Stammi Vicino._

_And I want him to do just that–Stay By Me and never leave._

 

* * *

 

 

 

**5 months before the wedding**

 

“Yuuri! Let’s go shopping!” Hiroko called from the kitchen, rousing Yuuri from his much-needed sleep. “Good morning, Okasan,” Yuuri mumbled, wearily sitting down at the kitchen table.

“So, you already have a wedding location, right?” Yuuri nodded. “What about the cake?” Hiroko then asked. “A friend of Viktor’s owns a bakery, we’ll visit him soon for further details,” Yuuri answered, already looking forward to all the cakes they’ll get to try.

In the end, it was only Yuuri’s suit for the wedding left. Hiroko was more than happy to accompany her son. Phichit and Yuuko joined them as well.

The Thai boy was uncontrollably rambling, asking Yuuri repeatedly if he could be the best man. “Yes, Phichit. It would be an honour to have you as my best man,” Yuuri replied, smiling as he watched Phichit’s face brighten up. “Who’s gonna take photos?! We’ll need a professional photographer!” Phichit stated, frantically typing something in his phone.

“Guang Hong Ji,” Yuuko interrupted. “He took photos at my wedding. He’s young, but his photos are a piece of art.”

“Ah, I even follow him..,” Phichit mumbled as he scrolled through the photographer’s posts. Yuuko was right, his works truly looked otherworldly. He always managed to catch the right angle, the natural light giving the photos a soft touch of particularity. “Done!” Phichit proudly stated, finishing his gesture with one last tap on his phone.

“Did you just book him?” Yuuko asked, clearly proud of her suggestion. Phichit nodded enthusiastically, showing the ‘order confirmed’ notification. Yuuri, on the other hand, couldn’t exactly follow his closest friends as they continued talking about the unique Chinese photographer.

“We’re here!” Hiroko happily announced, pointing to a store that Yuuri knew sold nothing but wedding suits.

“Welcome to IGLESIA, my name is Leo. How may I help you?” a nicely dressed, brown-haired man welcomed them. After giving all the details, Leo disappeared into another room, returning with a deep blue Tux. Yuuri’s eyes widened at the fine material, already picturing himself wearing it at the altar. After trying it on, Yuuri knew that something just wasn’t right. He didn’t have that ‘wow-feeling’ most brides get when finding their perfect dress.

“How about we try for some white ones?“ Leo asked after noticing the dissatisfaction in his customer’s eyes. Yuuri nodded, his eyes following the adviser’s every step until he disappeared behind a corner again. Phichit was nonstop taking photos, documenting everything in his Insta Story. “Don’t let Viktor see it,” Yuuko advised while taking photos herself.

Leo returned with several Tuxedos, each one specially embroidered and adorned. Yuuri’s eyes immediately glued to the one in the middle. Before he even tried it on, he knew that he found his perfect outfit. They bought several ties, because neither Hiroko nor Yuuri could decide between black, white or light blue.

Yuuri was smiling brightly as they walked back to their car, happily posing for Phichit, who was taking photos again.

“I wish you could just marry tomorrow, I’m not sure how much longer I can wait!” Phichit wailed, clutching his phone close to his heart. Yuuko smiled, “Who could have guessed that you would marry your idol one day? I certainly didn’t, back then, but I’m so happy for you, Yuuri!”

 

**4 months before the wedding**

 

Viktor and Yuuri were at the bakery, planning their wedding cake. Unfortunately, neither of them could decide which flavours the three-story cake should have. “How about vanilla, chocolate and strawberry?” Yuuri suggested. “That’s way too standard, Yuuri~,” Viktor answered, flicking through the catalogue.

Viktor found a page listing all available cake flavours. “Chocolate fudge with dark chocolate chips and peppermint mousse, Mocha spiced chocolate, Italian lemon with lemon curd and lemoncello buttercream, Champagne cake with redcurrant or blackberry jelly with créme de cassis?” Viktor read. “Those look good, don’t you think?” Viktor asked, tapping Yuuri’s shoulder.

Yuuri nodded, scribbling the numbers of the different cakes down. “Have you found something yet?” an elderly man asked as he walked into the room. “I think so. Is it possible to combine those?” Yuuri asked, pointing on his list.

The man confirmed Yuuri’s request, already taking notes of his own. “Would you like to try them first?” he then asked, smiling warmly. “Yes, that would be nice. Right, darling?” Viktor asked, his fiancé nodded in agreement. “Very well. How about tomorrow? We’ll have the cakes ready for you to try around 12,” the man informed them, opening his notebook.

After setting the appointment, Yuuri and Viktor left, contently walking around the town hand in hand. “How do you feel about visiting our wedding-location? It’s not far from here,” Viktor asked, putting a soft kiss on Yuuri’s lips. Yuuri agreed, resting his head on Viktor’s shoulder as they walked.

“If I had the choice, I’d marry you right now,” Yuuri mumbled, cheeks tinged red slightly. Viktor chuckled, putting his arm around Yuuri’s shoulder to pull his fiancé even closer. “If I had the choice, I would have married you long ago,” Viktor replied, making warmth spread in Yuuri’s chest.

“We have another appointment with the photographer next week,” Yuuri informed Viktor. “Something about him getting a few first ideas or so.”

“Imagine Makkachin or Vicchan bringing the rings, wouldn’t that be cute?“ Viktor wanted to know, his question sounding more like a suggestion. “Maybe we could teach them to do it, after all we still have four months left,” Yuuri replied, picturing their dogs toddle down the aisle with white flowers in their curly fur.

They reached their wedding location, a gallant manor, imposingly built on a hill from which one could look over the whole town. They climbed the last set of stairs and passed through the gates, immediately being greeted with the yard that was buzzing with life. The ceremony would take place in a brightly lit hall, decorated with white flowers.

“Can you believe that this is truly happening?” Yuuri asked, looking at Viktor with bright eyes. Viktor shook his head, lovingly pulling Yuuri into an embrace. “But it is, and I can’t wait to call you my husband,” he whispered in Yuuri’s ear.

 

The appointment at the bakery went well, the young couple settled on three different flavours on three stories. They also met their wedding photographer, Guang Hong Ji, to discuss further details. All in all, there were still three months and three weeks left and neither Yuuri nor Viktor knew how to survive the growing anticipation.

Yuuri knew that Hiroko had accompanied Viktor buying his Tux as well, so it was most likely that their suits would compliment each other somehow.

The news had spread quickly, and within the first three weeks, everyone knew of their upcoming wedding.

The invitations were sent long before the wedding because both of them wanted to make sure that their loved ones were informed early. Viktor had sent an invitation to his mother, hoping to finally see her again. Yakov, who left them two months ago after ensuring that Viktor would be safe, was invited as well.

Viktor invited former classmates, relatives in Russia, close friends, and even the nice elderly baker. Yuuri, on the other hand, had originally wanted a small wedding, but it didn’t take long for Viktor to convince him otherwise.

 

**Two weeks before the wedding**

 

“I love you,” Viktor whispered into Yuuri’s ear as they laid in bed that night. Yuuri turned to face Viktor, smiling sweetly. “I love you, too.” His growing nervousness became a constant companion, following him wherever he went.

Never in his wildest dreams had Yuuri believed to actually get married to his idol. Sure, he dreamt of marrying Viktor countless times before, but nothing could compare to what he felt at the moment. Viktor?” Yuuri asked silently. “What are we going to do once we’re married?” Viktor looked straight back at him, his expression thoughtful, before answering: “When I finish my studies, we could buy a house. For us and Makkachin and Vicchan… Our child. We could adopt if you want.”

Yuuri’s smile was watery as he replied. “Yes, yes. I’d love that.”

Yuuri dreamt of their future that night, smiling even as his mind was far, far away.

 

**2 days before the wedding**

 

Yuuri looked at his reflection in the mirror. The stylists that had been working on him for the past two hours had done an incredible job, turning Yuuri into a man worthy of marrying _the_ Viktor Nikiforov. Even though Yuuri was the only one who felt that way, he still had his doubts. No matter how often his friends and family told him, he feared that he might hold Viktor back on trying out on all the opportunities that life could offer a man like him.

He loved Viktor with all his heart, which was exactly why he wanted the best for him. He thought back to all the times Viktor told him how much he loved him. He couldn’t help the tears that slowly escaped his eyes. Not even five seconds after, the stylist was scolding him for ruining his make-up. She was smiling, though, gently wiping the tears away.

“You probably don’t know who I am, but I attended the same Highschool as you and Viktor. I know what you must be feeling, but let me tell you one thing I’ve seen the way Viktor looked at you, the way he brightened up whenever you came into sight. You shouldn’t doubt yourself, not now, not ever. Some may not believe in it, but I’m positive that it’s destiny who brings those meant to be together. So please, don’t doubt yourself anymore,” she said in a gentle tone, smiling again as Yuuri met her soft, green eyes.

“Thanks,” was everything Yuuri could get out through all the emotions flooding through him. He looked at himself and smiled, repeating her words in his head.

 

**shortly before the wedding**

 

It was almost time for the ceremony to start. The guests had settled and everyone waited patiently. The hall went quiet as the small orchestra started to play.

_The doors opened and Viktor walked through, escorted by Yakov. They walked down the aisle and came to a halt in front of the altar. He glanced at her mother, who was sitting in the first row with tears glimmering in her bright blue eyes._

_The song changed into another one, soft and slow. The doors opened again, revealing Yuuri and his father. Toshiya proudly escorted his son down the aisle. He sat down next to Yakov, who seemed to be close to tears as well. The grooms only had eyes for each other, their eyes tightly locked on those of their partner. As expected, the groom’s Tuxedos matched perfectly, complementing the other in every way._

_When the orchestra finished, it was time for the Officiant’s opening remarks._

_“Friends and family, dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov. You have come here to share in this formal commitment they make to one another, to offer your love and support to this union, and to allow Viktor and Yuuri to start their married life together surrounded by the people dearest to them._

_Marriage is the most challenging of all human relationships. No one but you and your partner can create your marriage – through faith and patience, dedication and perseverance, through talking and listening, supporting and believing in one another. You have to learn to forgive, to appreciate the differences you will explore, to make the important things matter. What this ceremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together as partners._

_The Officiant turned to the couple standing before him before raising his voice once more._

_“Will you, Viktor Nikiforov, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”_

_“I do.” came Viktor’s answer, proud and steady._

_“Will you, Katsuki Yuuri, take this man to be your wedded husband?”_

_“I do.”_

_After receiving the support of the community, it was time for the wedding vows._

_“Please, now read the vows you have written for each other,” the Officiant announced._

_Viktor’s eyes locked with Yuuri’s, all the love he felt for the man standing opposite him clearly visible._

_“I, Viktor Nikiforov, take you, Yuuri Katsuki, to be my husband, partner, and my love. I shall cherish_

_you with all my heart, In Sickness and In Health, for good and for worse._

_I will work hard to keep our bond of honesty, faith and love, to make it strong to withstand the tides of time and change, for it shall forever grow with us._

_I vow to honour and respect you for all you are and will become. I vow to take pride in who we are, both separately and together._

_I will work hard to create a world we all want to live in, where love and respect will be recognized and celebrated in all their many forms._

_Our future home will be a sanctuary and respite for us and for those whom we cherish._

_Above all, I will give you my love freely and unconditionally._

_I pledge this to you, from the bottom of my heart. For all days of our lives._

_Thank you for everything, Yuuri. For all you’ve done to me. I love you more than I could ever put into words, and standing here, with you, is more than I could have ever hoped for.”_

_Yuuri couldn’t see clearly anymore, his sight blurry with tears. He knew Viktor was crying, too. He could hear it in voice. Yuuri smiled through the tears as he gave his vows, his eyes never leaving Viktor’s._

_“May I have the rings, please?”_

_It wasn’t Vicchan who brought the rings, but it didn’t make the moment any less mesmerizing. And Yuuri knew that he would treasure this moment forever in his memory._

_“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss each other.”_

_And so they did._

 

When the celebrations began, Yuuri couldn’t be happier, and he was certain that Viktor felt the same way. They hadn’t stopped holding hands ever since the ceremony. Photos were taken when the Sakura leaves fell, their colours as bright and pure as Viktor and Yuuri’s happiness.

Two days later, every available wall of their house was decorated with pictures of their wedding, reminding of their newfound union.

Three days later, Yuuri and Viktor were off to their honeymoon in Barcelona, fulfilled with happiness that felt everlasting.

 

 

 

“What is it?” Viktor asked gently, holding Yuuri’s hand as they sat in the plane that would fly them to their honeymoon. “I was just thinking that we’re really married now,” Yuuri said, shuffling closer to Viktor. His husband lovingly returned the gesture, putting his arms around Yuuri before resting his head on the smaller man’s shoulder.

Viktor quickly fell asleep, his chest softly rising and falling. Yuuri smiled to himself, thinking of ways to spend the flight without Viktor to talk to.

“Excuse me, but you two are on the same tour, aren’t you?” a woman with light blond hair asked, her accent was undefinable, more of a mixture of several ones. “Yes, we’re on our honeymoon,” Yuuri answered, blushing slightly. The woman smiled. “Ah, we’re on our honeymoon, too. We must be on the same tour. My name’s Anna. This is my husband, Eric.”

“I’m Yuuri K,—Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov. Nice to meet you. It seems our husbands have something in common,” Yuuri said, smiling at Anna whose husband was sound asleep next to her. “This is my husband, Viktor Katsuki-Nikiforov,” Yuuri introduced, pointing to the sleeping man next to him. It still felt so unreal, like everything was nothing but a mere dream.

“What a handsome husband,” Anna stated, looking at Viktor in amazement. Yuuri nodded in agreement. “I know, right?” he stated proudly, giving Viktor’s hand a light squeeze. “How did you meet him?” Anna asked, still looking at Viktor.

“Well, it’s a long story… We met in Highschool, he unexpectedly moved in with me and we fell in love along the way, even though I’ve loved him before he even knew my name, I felt like I’ve found a whole new kind of love in him.”

“That sure is a unique story. We only have a boring romance from work,” Anna said, her voice cold and affectionless. Yuuri wondered how it was possible to sound like this when talking about something that should make your chest flatter with joy.

 

“Yuuri!” Anna greeted, running towards them. They had finally arrived in Barcelona and were now waiting for their suitcases when Yuuri heard the familiar voice again. She reached them and immediately, her eyes were glued to Viktor’s. “Ah, your husband is even prettier from up close!“ she stated shamelessly. Yuuri felt something tighten in his chest, instantly disliking the feeling.

“Viktor, this is Anna. She’s from the same tour—,” Yuuri started but was interrupted by Anna’s voice. “Nice to meet you!” she cheered happily, her hand stretched out. Viktor’s expression was blank as he greeted her, and Yuuri couldn’t help but feel somewhat relieved. “Anyway, where’s your husband?” Yuuri asked after noticing that Anna was, indeed, alone.

“Dunno. Must have gone off or something,” Anna mumbled, clearly uninterested. Eric appeared behind her a few minutes later, informing her that the shuttle bus had arrived. Anna turned around to face Yuuri once more, this time, she whispered into his ear “It must be great, having such a wonderful husband, Yuuri. But hey, won’t you trade with me?” Yuuri shrieked, but before he could say something else, Anna brushed it off as a joke, turning around to face her husband, whom she obviously wasn’t very happy with.

The uneasy feeling returned, and this time, ten times worse.

 

The hotel was grand, extravagant interior and even more opulent decorations. Their suite was luxuriously arrayed, only seeping with superior, but Yuuri immediately felt at ease there. After they unpacked, Viktor suggested they go to the ocean. Both of them were getting ready, stealing kisses in between. “Let me help you with that,” Viktor said as he took the bottle of sunscreen from Yuuri’s hands, tenderly spreading the lotion on Yuuri’s back.

Their moment was interrupted by the phone ringing. Reluctantly, Yuuri picked it up and was greeted with Anna’s cheerful voice, asking if they wanted to go to the ocean together.

Yuuri almost wanted to decline the offer, but before either of them could say something, Anna’s voice was ringing through the room again. “Great, see you then!” Yuuri couldn’t believe his misfortune. All he craved for was having Viktor to himself.

“Over here!” Anna greeted them when they reached the beach just below their hotel. Her husband was standing a few feet behind her, struggling with the parasol. Anna clung to Viktor, who looked nothing but annoyed, and happily spoke up again. “Shall we get going?” Without waiting for his answer, she dragged him away and out of Yuuri’s sight.

“W-what just happened?” Yuuri asked, confusion and anger mixing in his stomach. “Hey, shouldn’t you do something about this?” he asked Eric, who was looking just as confused as Yuuri felt. Eric lowered his head, sadly staring at the ground. “I’m sorry, I understand how you feel. It’s nothing new to me, wherever we go, she keeps flirting with other men.”

“But- How can you let her treat you like this?” Yuuri asked, feeling sympathetic for the other man.

Eric’s eyes were still tightly locked on the ground as he answered. “I’m afraid of losing her.” Now, Yuuri could definitely understand that. They talked for a little while longer before deciding to go searching for their partners.

What they found, though, made Yuuri’s blood boil. Anna was pressing a kiss to Viktor’s cheek as Viktor handed her his towel. Yuuri knew he shouldn’t feel like this, but he couldn’t stop it. Eric seemed to share his emotions. He dashed forward to grab Anna’s hand, trying to drag her away from Viktor. Yuuri looked into Viktor’s eyes and felt some of his anger replaced by sympathy as he was met with the strained expression in Viktor’s eyes. The Russian man looked upset, to say the least, as he broke free from Anna’s grip to get back to his husband.

The next days, unfortunately, weren’t any different. One of them woke up in the morning and kissed the other awake. They had breakfast together and talked about what they wanted to do. At some point, Anna would always find them and, much to Yuuri’s dismay, cling to Viktor for the rest of the day.

When their last day arrived, Yuuri was desperate for at least one moment of intimate togetherness. He could count the moments he and Viktor had spent alone on one hand.

“Hey, Yuuri. Let’s go out today, just the two of us,” Viktor suggested, stroking the back of Yuuri’s hand. The Japanese brightened up, Viktor’s tender words his knight in shining armour, saving him from the fangs of jealousy. He just smiled when Anna’s voice rang through the speakers again, asking if they wanted to join them on a tour.

“I’m sorry, but Viktor and I decided to spend our last day on Barcelona _alone_ ,” Yuuri informed the woman he had grown to dislike over the past days, emphasizing his last word. The words felt refreshing on his tongue, filling him with joy.

Anticipation was building up inside of him when he got ready for their date, slicking his hair back softly. He turned around when he felt someone knock on the door, opening it to reveal Viktor. His husband looked as beautiful as ever, splendid platinum hair shining in the soft evening sun. “Are you ready, Lyubov Moya?”

And Yuuri should have expected it, he honestly should have.

As if Anna would him get away that easily.

All of a sudden, Eric came crashing through the door, panic evident in his voice. “Anna… Anna isn’t feeling well!”

And so both of them ended up following a distressed Eric into the suite he shared with his wife. Anna was lying on her side, clutching her stomach. Viktor immediately started asking questions as he observed her. “Any nausea?” Eric shook his head. “Fever?” Another shake. “I didn’t know what to do. Also, Anna asked for you,” Eric explained, eyes nervously switching from his wife to Viktor.

Yuuri felt anger boil in his chest. He didn’t want this. He just wanted to spend the last day of _their_ honeymoon with Viktor.

“Which parts hurt?” Viktor asked, bowing over Anna to examine her. “V-Viktor! Maybe we should call the tour guide now..,” Yuuri said, but his suggestion went unanswered. “Her pulse is strong,” Viktor noted. “Show me your stomach.”

 _N-no! Don’t touch her_ … Yuuri thought. “Does it hurt when I touch you here?” Viktor asked, pressing down on her stomach. “It’s okay,” Anna answered, resting her hand on Viktor’s.

Yuuri couldn’t bear it anymore. Anna was tearing Viktor and him apart and Yuuri was sick of it. All he wanted was a romantic evening with Viktor. All he wanted was his _husband_ to himself for just one evening. That couldn’t be too much to ask for, could it?

“NO! Don’t touch her like that!” Yuuri screamed, tears escaping his eyes as Viktor pressed his hands down on Anna’s body. “I thought that we would be alone this evening. I- I don’t want this!” Viktor looked up at him with wide eyes. “Stop that, Yuuri!” Viktor yelled. “You married a man who’s becoming a doctor, didn’t you? How can our relationship carry your jealousy all the time? If you keep doing that, I doubt we’ll be able to be together forever.”

Yuuri felt his eyes go wide. Tears were streaming down his face as he listened to Viktor’s words. Did he already doubt their relationship? Had Yuuri destroyed his dream?

Suddenly, Yuuri dashed out of the door. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. He hadn’t meant for any of this to happen!

And as he walked along the silent streets, he felt his dreams slowly vanish.

Was this the end?

 

 

 

 

“Yuuri!” Viktor yelled frantically, running down the stairs of their hotel. He knew that he made a terrible mistake, but he could do nothing but pray that his Yuuri was alright. It was dark already and wandering around at this time of night- alone could hold many dangers. Viktor didn’t know what came over him. He was annoyed at Anna for practically destroying their honeymoon, angry at himself for not realizing sooner and worried about Yuuri more than he could put into words.

Viktor had been blind; he didn’t see the true extent of Anna’s feelings towards him. The woman had told him anything after Yuuri stormed off, confessing her growing feelings for him. It was Eric who pulled him out of his trance, yelling at him to go find his husband.

“Yuuri!” he yelled again, looking around for any signs of his partner. Yuuri was nowhere to be seen, and panic tug at his Viktor’s heart. If something happened to him—

Viktor shook his head. He shouldn’t think about this now. He would find Yuuri and apologize a thousand times over if that was what it took to make his husband forgive him for his selfish mistake. He would never, ever leave Yuuri and he needed him to know that. He never wanted to see Yuuri look like that, least of all because of something he, his husband, said.

 

 

Yuuri didn’t know for how long he had been walking down the streets already, but when he looked up, he had no plan where he was. He searched for his phone, but quickly realized that he forgot his bag in their suite from all the excitement.

“Great…,” he mumbled, scolding himself for being so careless.

 

It was dark, and Yuuri couldn’t see where he was going anymore. The dull lights of the apartment blocks next to him did little to help him find his way home. The night air was cold, and Yuuri started to shiver in his thin shirt and waist-coat. His thoughts were still racing a mile per hour, and a feeling of dread settled in his stomach.

Had he ruined their relationship just like that? Had they reached the end before their story even began? Yuuri tried to stop the tears from falling, but standing here on an empty sidewalk, darkness surrounding him with no traces of his husband who soon might not be his husband any longer, he just couldn’t.

A group of men came walking in his direction, and Yuuri quickly pronounced them his last chance of finding back to Viktor. “Hey! Could you help me, please?” He stuttered. “What does a hottie like you want here of all places?” They spat, clearly drunk. “Actually, I- I was searching for my husband!” Yuuri then stated, trying to get the message across somehow. “Gay, huh?” They laughed, “What a waste.”

And with that, they left.

Time passed by, and Yuuri didn’t know what to do anymore. The streets were completely devoid of any human life, no one whom he could ask for directions back to their hotel. He wondered if Viktor was searching for him at all.

But on the other hand, he felt bad for doubting his husband like that. Yuuri simply didn’t know what to feel anymore. Giving in to his fate, he sat down against a wall, hugging his knees to his chest to provide himself with some well-needed warmth. He could only hope for Viktor to forgive and rescue him.

 

“Yuuri!” Viktor screamed, ignoring the weird looks he received from other people. The only thing that matters was his husband. Eric had offered to help him after he frantically ran back to the hotel, hoping for a miracle. “Is there a special place you’ve been to?” Eric asked, panting as he tried to keep up with Viktor’s incredibly fast pace. “We didn’t have the chance to,” he grumbled in response.

“I’m truly sorry, Viktor. I should have seen her intentions,” Eric apologised, “but please believe me when I say that she never went that far before.”

Viktor couldn’t bring himself to feel much sympathy for the other man right now. They reached a quiet part of town with little to no people around that they could ask, and Viktor felt his heart throb in his chest.

If anything happened to Yuuri, he would never forgive himself.

Their torches were the only thing providing them with light. Suddenly, Eric called out, “There!” Viktor’s eyes fell on a dark figure, cowered against a wall. It didn’t take long for him to recognize Yuuri. His eyes widened before he sprinted towards him, folding his arms around his shivering body.

“Vi-Viktor…,” Yuuri mumbled, voice hoarse. _He must have been crying._ “I’m so sorry, my love, I swear I’m not going to leave you. I’m never going to leave you,” Viktor assured his husband, carding his hands through his soft, inky-black hair. Yuuri’s body was wrecked with silent sobs, and Viktor felt his own eyes begin to brim with tears, too. Eric stood silently next to them, phone in hand, ready to call for an ambulance.

“Is he okay?” He then asked, as Viktor continued holding Yuuri in his arms. “I think so,” Viktor replied, softly stroking Yuuri’s back. “Let’s go home, Solnyshko,” he fondly whispered, helping Yuuri up. From what he could see, his eyes were red and puffy from all the crying. “I’m sorry, Vitya,” he then mumbled, “please don’t leave me.”

And with that, Viktor threw his arms around Yuuri once more. “I promise I’m never going to leave you, Yuuri.”

Their intimate moment was interrupted by Eric, who looked at them with a regretful expression. “I wanted to apologize again, Yuuri. I’m sorry for what my wife and I did.” He offered his hand, and Yuuri slowly, reluctantly took hold of it. Neither he nor Viktor said anything, too caught up with themselves to pay Eric much notice on their way back to the hotel.

They held each other for the rest of the night, never once interrupting their embrace.

 

 

“Yuuri? Are you awake, sweetheart?” Viktor whispered, gently stroking the back of Yuuri’s head. Yuuri only groaned in response, clearly not wanting to get up. “We have to start packing now, love, our flight leaves soon.”

“Nooo, don’ wanna go,” Yuuri weakly protested, voice still rough from sleep. “I’ll pack, then. Get some more sleep, my Yuuri,” Viktor then said gently, pressing another kiss to the top of his husband’s head before getting up to start packing. “Mhh, love you,” Yuuri mumbled, voice muffled by the pillow.

“I love you, too,” Viktor responded.

 

Yuuri could hear Viktor rummaging around in their suite, picking up each of their belongings. He felt bad for not helping, but he was just too tired to get up. Thinking back to the previous week had Yuuri ready to cry again, he couldn’t believe that their honeymoon was over already. He was incredibly mad at Anna for destroying what was supposed to be the happy beginning of their marriage. Instead, it nearly tore them apart.

 Viktor joined him in bed not long after, so they ended up nearly missing the shuttle bus that would bring them to the airport.

Anna apologized for what she did, though neither Yuuri nor Viktor could spot honest guilt in her apology. The newlyweds spent the whole flight talking, coming to terms with each other after everything that had happened.

What originally seemed to tear them apart managed to strengthen their relationship more than ever.

 

**1 year later**

 

“Viktor! Get up already!” Yuuri yelled from the kitchen. How could his husband sleep in on such an important day?! The truth was that Yuuri had been silently awake for the last three hours, patiently waiting for the minutes to tick by.

After a long, exhausting discussion with Yuuri’s parents, they made an important decision: the couple would move out after Viktor finished his studies, straight into their new home. Much to Hiroko’s dismay, the poodles would accompany their owners into what would hopefully be their forever home.

They planned to visit three available houses today with their estate agent–the appointment was set for 8 AM – and either Viktor had forgotten about their plans or he simply didn’t know what time it was. It was 7:24 AM and Yuuri slowly began to panic. He stamped up the stairs and rushed into their bedroom to pry Viktor’s blanket away. Viktor, it seemed, had other plans as he tightly held onto the fabric spending him warmth on this cold winter morning. “Nooo…,” he mumbled, wearily trying to use Yuuri’s pillow as a blanket.

“Viktor!” Yuuri scolded, “We’re going to be late for the appointment!” Viktor slowly sat up, yawning as he stretched. “Huh?” he murmured, confused, “wha’ day’s it?” His question was incoherent, incomprehensible, and muffled by the sleepiness in his voice. His Russian accent, that was normally hidden under years of speaking another language, was also strongly audible.

“Saturday,” Yuuri answered, trying to kiss Viktor awake. Viktor suddenly leapt out of bed and into the bathroom, and Yuuri thought he heard Viktor swearing in Russian along the way. “I’ll wait downstairs,” Yuuri called, informing his husband as he headed for the door.

Viktor got ready in record time and met his husband in the kitchen, properly kissing him good-morning. The Russian offered his hand for Yuuri to take, who accepted the gesture gladly. Yuuri stopped to look at the pictures of their wedding that were hanging on the walls in the entrance hall. He felt all the joy and happiness flood back to him as he looked at his and Viktor’s bright smiles.

Fortunately, the streets were almost empty that morning, so Yuuri and Viktor managed to arrive to their appointment on time. The first property was a two-story house with a garage. Yuuri immediately fell in love with its high ceiling, but sadly, it didn’t have a garden, making it unsuited for a couple with dogs.

The second property was more of a mansion than a house, really. It was luxuriously decorated, with modern interior and a large garden and pool. It had a garage, three bedrooms, three bathrooms, a nice, open kitchen, and countless other rooms distributed on three grounds. “This is too much, Viktor!” Yuuri complained as his husband approvingly looked around the rooms.

“It may seem too much now, but who knows? Maybe our children’s children will live here one day,” Viktor replied. And in that  very moment, Yuuri knew that Viktor had made his decision.

They ended up buying it without having seen the last property, but neither Yuuri nor Viktor seemed to mind. For Yuuri, it all felt like a strange dream, too improbable to even be true. But Viktor seemed genuinely happy as they began packing a few weeks after, cheerily humming along to ‘Still Alive’ playing on the radio.

Hiroko and Toshiya had tears in their eyes as they bid their goodbyes, hugging their son and their son-in-law tightly. Mari was there too, also wanting to say goodbye to her baby brother and Viktor. “Take good care of him, Vicchan,” Hiroko pleaded as they turned around one last time. Viktor nodded. “I promise I will.”

Saying goodbye was harder than they imagined, but made leaving for their very own home all the more exciting.

It didn’t take long for the two to make themselves at home, decorating each room individually, since Yuuri wanted the interior to be more like them. Vicchan and Makkachin were as lively as ever, running around in the halls of their new home.

It became kind of a routine for them, to sit before the lit chimney every evening, telling stories about their childhood and adolescence before they met each other and all the while sharing their favourite blanket.

Their new life couldn’t be more perfect.

 

 

 

“Katsuki! There you are!” the head nurse yelled, quickly waving him over. Yuuri felt confusion spread in his chest at her distressed tone. “The internal medicine ward is lacking staff because a lot of nurses have taken leave,” she informed him. “It’s a good thing you’re here now. I’d like you to go there.”

Yuuri did as he was told, heading for the internal medicine ward.

He walked through the surprisingly silent halls as a door in front of him opened, revealing none other than his husband. “Viktor? What are you doing here?” he asked softly, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. “They were lacking staff,” Viktor replied. “Ah, I’m here because of that, too. Now we can do our best together,” Yuuri said, blushing slightly.

Viktor smiled gently, falling into pace next to Yuuri.

“Excuse me, could someone help us?” came a panicked voice from around the corner. Not long after, Mila Babicheva and Sara Crispino appeared in front of them. Mila was heavily leaning on Sara, sweat was plastered on her face as she tried to convince them that everything was okay. “Mila suddenly collapsed..,” Sara explained to them, when Mila interrupted her. “It’s no big deal. I was just feeling a little anaemic.”

“Please take a look at her, Viktor,” Sara pleaded, completely ignoring Mila. “Sure, if you’d follow me?”

 

 

“Finally, some time to myself,” Yuuri muttered as he sat down on one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs. “This department sure is busy…”

The last days had been nothing but stressful. Yuuri and Viktor had barely gotten any time to themselves, leaving the house early in the morning and coming home late at night. Phichit made sure that their dogs had everything they needed, but he also took the opportunity to post lots of selfies with the adorable poodles.

And while they both genuinely loved what they did, neither could deny that it was hard. Yuuri felt tired, fatigue accompanying him wherever he went. He was glad to have his husband by his side, encouraging him to always to his best.

Viktor sat down next him, a bottle of water in hand. He rested his head on his husband’s shoulder, ready to doze off then and there. Yuuri chuckled softly, but shook the Russian’s shoulders nonetheless. Their shift was still far from over, and yet Yuuri felt his lack of sleep kick in at full force. Apparently, Viktor didn’t fare any different, as he didn’t even stir at Yuuri’s attempts of waking him up.

Suddenly, another nurse came running down the hall. “Dr. Nikiforov, an emergency!” she shouted, frantically waving for them to come. As if a button had been pressed, Viktor quickly stood up to follow her. It was as if all his tiredness had disappeared into thin air. “We have a five-year-old child who’s fading in and out of consciousness!” she informed them as they headed to the examination room.

 

 

“Doctor, what’s wrong with Takashi?” the distressed mother asked, her eyes never leaving her son’s. “There’s some vomit lodged inside his throat,” Viktor updated her as he examined the young boy’s mouth. Viktor rapidly turned to his husband. “Yuuri, prepare the tube.”

Yuuri hurried out of the room to gather everything they needed as Viktor spoke up again, informing the mother of what they’d do. “I’m going to insert a tube inside your son’s throat and suck out the vomit lodged in his oesophagus.”

When Yuuri returned, he quickly set up the machine, informing Viktor that everything was prepared. “Yuuri, he might move violently from the pain, so please hold him down,” Viktor ordered before beginning to insert the tube.

 

“Alright, he should be fine now,” Viktor declared, making room for the frightened mother to hold her son. “Thank you so much!” she whispered, tears softly shimmering in her eyes. “You did well, my boy.”

 

After saying goodbye to Takashi and his mother, Yuuri and Viktor were standing at the reception, holding hands as they watched their retreating figures. Just as Viktor leaned down to press a kiss to Yuuri’s lips, the nurse from earlier appeared again.

 

“Dr. Nikiforov, we have another emergency!”

“What a day,” Viktor whispered, quickly pressing a kiss to Yuuri’s cheeks before following her.

“It sure is,” Yuuri whispered as he watched them go.

 

“Perfect!” Yuuri breathed out, admiring his work. All pictures they had taken together over the past ten years were neatly hanging on the wall of their entrance hall, sorted by date and year. Yuuri especially loved those that resulted in their wedding. It was one of Yuuri’s rare days off, so he decided to spend the time doing something useful.

After walking the dogs first thing in the morning, he all but ran into town to have their photos printed. It most certainly took some time to get back to their home whilst carrying a large pile of precious photos that Yuuri definitely didn’t want to fall to the ground on a rainy and muddy winter day.

He knew that his efforts were more than worth it, because just staring at the pictures made him feel at home. After checking the time–10:13 AM–Yuuri found himself clueless on what to do. ’8 more hours, maybe 9… I’ll survive that much, right?’ he mumbled to himself while sitting down on their couch. It didn’t take long for the poodles to find and bombard their owner with licks and kisses. “Makkachin, Vicchan! S-Stop!” Yuuri laughed breathlessly.

After Vicchan and Makkachin had padded off to play somewhere else, Yuuri was sitting in silence again. Back home, he had never been alone. Either his mother, father, Mari or Viktor were there to keep him company, but now the dogs were the only ones giving him joy when his husband wasn’t there.

Yuuri scrolled through his contacts to find someone available to talk, sighing as he realized that they were all working. The Japanese stood up to go find the dogs when an idea formed in his mind. What about the piano that neither of them had used ever since they moved there?

Filled with at least some anticipation, he headed down the stairs to where their piano stood.

Upon seeing it, memories from times long lost returned to his mind. The day he first heard his grandma play, the day of his first lesson, the day of his first competition. And Viktor, Viktor, Viktor. Yuuri smiled at the images playing like a movie in his head and sat down to be met with the familiar feeling of tranquillity. Yuuri took a minute to let the composure settle before starting to play the foreign tune he was creating in his head.

The minutes ticked by; the story progressed in his head and the tunes continued ringing through the room.

Yuuri smiled to himself as his hands glided over the keys. He didn’t hear his phone ringing in the corner until he stopped playing to scratch Vicchan, who had been patiently waiting for Yuuri to finally direct his attention to him, behind his ears.

To Yuuri’s surprise, it was Viktor calling him. As soon as he accepted the call, his husband’s cheery voice rang through the room. “Yuuri! Let’s go on a date after I’ve finished my shift!” Viktor’s voice was as happy as ever, filling Yuuri with bliss as he stood there, trying to hide his delight. Going on dates with Viktor wasn’t something new, but Yuuri always enjoyed the feeling of being close to him. He loved the way Viktor would look at him and no one else when they’re together. He loved the feeling of their fingers intertwined, like a haven shielding him from all dangers.

“Yuuri?” The Japanese only realized that he had yet to agree to Viktor’s request as his husband’s voice rang through the emerging silence again. “I’d love to. Where shall I meet you?” Yuuri asked, smiling softly as he stroked Vicchan’s fur. Noises of Viktor flicking through some papers could be heard before he answered. “Meet me at Lambiel’s at eight. I’ll wait there for you.”

“L-Lambiel’s? But-,” Yuuri shrieked, it was no secret that Lambiel’s was one of the best restaurants in town. “No buts, only the best for you, my love. I love you,” Viktor said, and even though Yuuri couldn’t see his face, he knew that the other was smiling. “I love you too. See ya,” Yuuri replied before hanging up.

As soon as he hung up, he quickly opened Whats app to text Phichit, in need for his wisdom.

 

                     _10:26 AM_

 ** _To Phichit:_** E M E R G E N C Y ! ! !

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** Hang on

 

Phichit read his message and called him in record time. “This is about Viktor, right? Tell me everything.” Yuuri breathed in and out for a few seconds, trying to control his racing thoughts. “We have a date tonight. At Lambiel’s,” Yuuri informed his best friend, practically hearing the other’s mouth fall open.

“I’ll be at your house as soon as my shift’s over, meet you in thirty!” Phichit yelled before ending the call abruptly, leaving behind an incredibly confused Yuuri.

Less than thirty minutes later, Yuuri’s phone screen jumped to life again, revealing another message from Phichit.

_10:53 AM_

**To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** : we’ll go shopping

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** he’s gonna regret not having booked a hotel room for the 2 of u 

                                       **¯\\_(** **ツ** **)_/¯**

 ** _to Phichit:_** …

 ** _to Phichit:_** Phichit

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** Just the truth **(** **ᗒᗜᗕ** **)** **՛** **̵̖**  

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** : I’m here!!!

 

Phichit was indeed standing right in front of their entrance, waving at him as he made his way to his best friend’s car.

“This  is going to be so much fun,” Phichit said as he turned on the engine. Yuuri was uncomfortable the whole ride, why couldn’t they have just stayed at home? Surely they would have found something fit for the occasion, right?

“How do you want to seduce him?” Phichit asked teasingly, his eyes glimmering mischievously. “I don’t—I wouldn’t- Just… no,” Yuuri managed to stammer out, his cheeks turning red in embarrassment. “It’s okay to think that way. You’re married, after all,” Phichit assured him, earning an annoyed huff from his best friend.

“But seriously, have you ever… you know?“ Phichit then asked, and if Yuuri’s cheeks weren’t already at their deepest shade, he was sure that  they would have turned at least three times darker. “Twice,” Yuuri replied, without meeting Phichit’s eyes. “After he proposed and on the night of our wedding.”

Fortunately, Phichit kept his mouth shut from then on, sparing Yuuri from more intimate questions. When they arrived at their destination, Yuuri reluctantly got out of the car. “Do we really have to do this? My closet’s quite full already, so—,” Phichit interfered, nudging Yuuri lightly. “I’m doing this for your sake–and for Viktor’s. Come on, Yuuri, I promise you’re not going to regret this.”

Somehow, Yuuri found that hard to believe, but he tried to be positive nonetheless.

Finding the perfect outfit, one that was worthy of Viktor Nikiforov on top of that, was easier said than done. Phichit and Yuuri had been turning the whole store upside down for the last two hours or so, desperately searching for what they knew had to be the best. And whilst Yuuri had wanted to give up after merely searching for fifteen minutes, Phichit was still high in spirits even after two long hours.

Even the shop assistants had given up offering their help. “Come on, Yuuri! Just wait until we find the perfect one and you’ll see that all the trouble was worth it!” Phichit eagerly tried to encourage Yuuri, but ended up only darkening his best friend’s mood, earning a frustrated ‘ _If_ we find the perfect outfit today, which I very much doubt.”

Surprisingly, they did find what could be considered the perfect outfit for Yuuri’s upcoming date. It was rather… explosive. A simple white shirt with a tight waistcoat, protruding silver embroidery that was clearly meant to rouse attention. It came with too tight jeans and even matching gloves.

“I can’t believe this anymore,” Yuuri groaned as he let himself fall back on the soft-cushioned bench. Phichit had immediately insisted on buying it, which they did, only a few minutes after. Yuuri, on the other hand, wasn’t comfortable wearing something as.. special as this. All his life, he wanted to stay in the background, being the object of all attention was torture for him.

He had always been the shy, quiet type that everyone would brush off as a typical loner. Even as a teenager, Yuuri had never intentionally seeked attention. “Don’t be afraid, Yuuri. Viktor will love it,” Phichit tried to assure him. “Whatever…,” Yuuri mumbled. “Let’s just go home.”

 

Viktor’s shift would end in less than an hour, and Yuuri was nervously pacing around the bathroom, repeatedly staring at his reflection in the mirror. Yuuri couldn’t deny the fact that he looked, indeed, somewhat handsome. He decided to bring another outfit as a replacement in case his nerves would get the best of him again.

The dogs were taken care of, and Yuuri was ready to leave the house, but something inside of him violently protested against it. He brushed it off, petted the poodles one last time and headed out the door.

“Have fun, Yuuri!” Phichit cheerily shouted as Yuuri climbed out of the car. The streets were jammed, so the Japanese decided to walk the last bit to the restaurant. People were looking at him, and Yuuri didn’t like it. Their piercing stares made him uncomfortable, and Yuuri almost found himself silently begging for the ground to devour him whole.

A loud crash roared in the distance, and Yuuri quickly turned around to make out the source of the deafening noise. A crash, it seemed. A crowd had already gathered around a wounded passer-by, clutching his leg as he shook violently. Yuuri jostled his way through the crowd, shouting “I’m a nurse!” before crashing down on his knees to  start examining the semi-conscious man.

“Head angle for breathing set,” Yuuri whispered, “Pulse is 140bpm.” He knew that he needed to stop the bleeding and quickly looked around for something that would work as a bandage. An elder woman offered her neckerchief, Yuuri thanked her quickly before securing it around the man’s head. “My leg…,” the man stammered out, voice strained from pain. “It might be fractured,” Yuuri informed him, begging for the ambulance to come.

Sirens were blaring in the distance, but Yuuri knew that it would take some time to pass through the busy streets. “Help will arrive soon,” Yuuri assured as he tried to splint the man’s leg.

 

“Fracture of the femur,” Yuuri informed the paramedic shortly after they loaded the man into the ambulance. “I stopped the bleeding and gave basic first-aid treatment. His pulse is 140 bpm, and he’s fully conscious.”

“Got it, thank you. We were lucky to have a nurse on scene,” the paramedic said before disappearing into the ambulance.

Yuuri still felt shaken, but he was relieved all the more. Only when he looked down on himself did he realize that he completely forgot about the date. His eyes widened as he spotted his blood-stained waistcoat. If he didn’t know better, one would certainly believe he was the one who just got into an accident.

The dark-haired man rushed down the street, praying for Viktor to still be there. His mind was racing, his heart beating and his hands sweating. What would he do if Viktor had gone already? Did he think that Yuuri carelessly forgot about the date? Yuuri already thought of ways to beg for Viktor’s forgiveness.

The restaurant came into sight, and Yuuri realized that he wouldn’t get in, not without a reservation. He stopped right in front of the entrance and tried to stop the tears from flowing. “Viktor will be gone by now…,” Yuuri whispered to himself, completely oblivious to the shocked stares of the other passer-by’s.

“Yuuri…,” he heard Viktor’s voice, it was just above a whisper but Yuuri still heard it, and when he turned around, he found Viktor’s eyes widen drastically as he came crashing forward to engulf him in a tight embrace.

Yuuri openly cried into his husband’s chest, and the stares continued.

And neither of them could care any less.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance—Oh god,” Viktor stammered as he looked Yuuri over. The Japanese reached out to cradle Viktor’s cheeks in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. “There was an accident on the way. It’s not my blood, but—I’m sorry I messed up. I’m sorry I ruined our date,” Yuuri breathed out silently, hiding his face in the crook of Viktor’s neck.

“It’s okay, love. You didn’t ruin anything. Let’s get you cleaned up first,” Viktor said lovingly and led Yuuri across the horribly expensive carpets of Lambiel’s, directly to the bathroom. He locked the door behind them and started to wipe the blood off Yuuri’s face, his movements gentle and soft.

“You don’t happen to have brought clothes to change, do you?”, Viktor asked, not at all expecting the answer to be ‘yes’.

Yuuri couldn’t have been more thankful to have, indeed, brought clothes that were originally meant to replace his current outfit if required. He breathed out a sigh of relief before opening his bag to reveal a clean pair of jeans and a navy blue button-down shirt.

Viktor beaming at him was worth all the stress Yuuri went through.

 

After a three course dinner, Viktor asked him if they wanted to stay the night, and Yuuri agreed. He texted Phichit, thanked him for his help and asked him to take care of the dogs since they wouldn’t come home that night.

 

 ** _To Phichit_** : Thanks for your help!! Even tho things didn’t exactly go as planned

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** No problem!!

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** **(** **ᗒᗜᗕ** **)** **՛** **̵̖**  

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** but what happened

 ** _to Phichit:_** There was an accident, I did first-aid and somehow managed to look like the one hit

 ** _to Phichit:_** I’m alright though, Viktor loved the embroidery btw

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** I’m glad!!! And I thought he would haha

 ** _to Phichit:_** oh and btw

 ** _to Phichit:_** Could you please take care of the dogs? We won’t be home ‘till tomorrow

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** so he booked a room after all??? ***\0/***

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** have fun!!!

 ** _to Phichit_** : … Phichit

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** tell me everything

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** e v e r y  l i t t l e  d e t a i l

 ** _to Phichit:_** Phichit

 ** _to Phichit_** : no

 **To _Yuuri (_** ** _⺣_** ** _◡_** ** _⺣_** ** _)_** ** _♡:_** **( ¬** **‿** **¬** **)**  

 

And as they laid in bed that night, holding each other tightly, Viktor asked the one question that would change their lives forever.

 

“Yuuri, how do you feel about children?”

 

 

It’s been two months since Yuuri and Viktor applied for a child at a local Christian adoption agency. The couple was patiently waiting for the call that would make their dream come true. Every day toys and new furniture added to their interior, making special parts of the house look more like an adventure playground than a simple room to live in.

They were excitedly waiting for what would complete their small family; a child. Neither Yuuri nor Viktor could be any happier as they eagerly decorated their home to make it fit for a small baby. “Have you seen the stroller somewhere?” Yuuri called from the kitchen. Viktor’s reply came immediately, startling Yuuri slightly. “I put it in the basement, down the hall in the first room on the right.”

Yuuri stopped to look around their living room, picturing a toddler playing on the ground with Vicchan or Makkachin. The dogs seemed to have noticed the change in their owner’s behaviour as well, since they didn’t beg for attention as often as they used to. Maybe they knew how busy both of them were, handling a full-time job and preparing for the first child was a lot of work, after all.

“These are the last,” Viktor said as he set down a pile of boxes, all of them were lettered as ‘toys’. “Do we honestly need more toys, Viktor?” Yuuri chuckled, pointing to the closets that were overflowed by toys. “It’s impossible to have too many, Solnyshko,” Viktor said, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Yuuri’s lips.

“Are you finished here?” Viktor asked, looking around the living room that Yuuri managed to make at least look somewhat decent again. Yuuri nodded, rising to his feet to pull his husband closer. “I’m so happy,” he whispered softly. The Russian pressed his lips against Yuuri’s forehead, enclosing him in his arms. “We’re going to be parents,” he mumbled into the inky black hair that he loved carding his hair through.

“How long do you think it is going to take?” Yuuri asked as he rested his cheek against Viktor’s chest. “A month, maybe two? After all they said that couples usually have to wait around three or four months for their child,” Viktor said, lovingly holding his husband.

“And we are done with all preparations already..,” Yuuri chuckled. “I don’t know if I can manage to wait that long. Today seems like a good day to start our family, don’t you think?”

“Everyday is a good day to start our family, as long as you’re there with me, my Solnyshko. But I guess we’ll have to find a way to spend our evenings then, huh?” Viktor said, nuzzling Yuuri’s hair, “How about some pizza and the cheesiest movie we can find?”  Yuuri nodded contently, already thinking of movies he never ever wanted to watch again.

“Did they just-- uh, that is disgusting” Yuuri said, disgusted by the scenes playing on the TV. “How did the actors even agree to this?” Viktor laughed heartedly, clutching his stomach as the movie stretched on. The plot was pointless, and neither Yuuri nor Viktor knew what its point was. After watching for sixty-three minutes, they decided to turn the movie off and watch something that could be described as decent.

 

 

 

It was spring, and the sakura leaves started falling again. Viktor and Yuuri walked through the rain of cherry blossoms, holding hands and enjoying the pure beauty of the moment. They had been informed that the last part of the process had been initiated, so they would meet their son in less than a week. Workers of the agency would visit them in the first three weeks and, judging by the circumstances, decide whether they could adopt or not.

Neither of them could put into words how happy they were.

“Let’s grab something to eat, yeah?” Viktor asked, squeezing Yuuri’s hand gently. His husband nodded against his shoulder. “Can we visit Okasan?” he pleaded. Yuuri missed his family dearly, after all he hadn’t seen them for way too long. Vicchan and Makkachin were happily bouncing beside them, sniffling on the freshly fallen leaves.

“Sure, they should be home by now, right?“ Viktor asked, though it wasn’t exactly meant as a question, since Viktor already knew the answer.

After an hour drive, Viktor pulled into the familiar parking lot in front of the house he had lived in for so long. The dogs immediately seemed to recognize it since they started barking excitedly.

“Yuuri! Vicchan!” Hiroko shouted, running down the stairs to embrace her boys in a tight hug. “I’m so glad you came to visit!” She kneeled down to softly hug the poodles that were begging for her attention as well. Unfortunately, Hiroko was the only one at home. “Just know that you can visit as often as you like, my dears!”, Hiroko cheered happily, gesturing them to sit down.

“I’ll make you some Katsudon, okay?”, she then asked, smiling at the couple, that, of course, nodded eagerly. “It’s been so long since I last ate it,” Yuuri whispered as he stroked Makkachin’s soft curls.

Of course, it was just as tasty as he remembered. Hiroko’s smile brightened as she earned a delighted ‘Vkusno’ from Viktor, the Russian was digging into the bowl like his life depended on it, devouring his husband’s favourite dish in no time.

“I can’t believe I’ll be a grandma soon. Times flies fast, huh?” Hiroko said in a more serious tone, though she was still smiling. “It most certainly does,” Viktor replied, looking at his husband as he thought back to everything they’d been through.

“Please, visit more often  in the future!” Hiroko said as she hugged them again. She leaned down to pet Vicchan and Makkachin once more before waving at the couple.

Hiroko continued to stand at the threshold of their house, staring at the empty streets, long after they disappeared out of sight. She was smiling as silent tears of joy and sadness fell.

 

 

 

 

 

“He’s beautiful,” Yuuri whispered through tears as he held their son for the first time. Viktor had his arms around his husband’s waist, smiling brightly at the latest addition of the family. “He is,” Viktor breathed out, gently wiping Yuuri’s tears away. “Hold him,” Yuuri said, his voice so full of love that Viktor was sure his heart would burst with all the emotions flowing through him at that moment.

And so Yuuri gently, carefully handed the small bundle over. Viktor felt tears streaming down his face as he held their son, full of pride and love for his family.

“Welcome home, Takuto Ilya Katsuki-Nikiforov.”

 

 

 

“Takuto! Wear your hat!” Yuuri shouted as he chased his laughing four-year-old son around the living room. “Love, do you need help there?” Viktor chuckled as he walked into the living room. Suddenly, Takuto stopped to dash into his father’s arms. “Papa!” he happily shouted as the Russian lifted him off the ground and into his arms.

Yuuri finally managed to secure the hat on the tiny child’s head as he contently rested on his papa’s shoulder. “Daddy?” Takuto asked, turning to face Yuuri. “Are we going to see granny today?”

Yuuri smiled and lovingly nodded, hugging his husband from behind. “Are you ready to go, love?” the Japanese asked, pointing to the door. “All set, my Yuuri. Mari should arrive to pick the dogs up any minute, I think she’ll manage them just  fine, da?” Viktor answered, locking their fingers as they headed out the door.

“Bye, Makka and Vicchan!” Takuto shouted cheerily, waving to the poodles lying on the couch. Mari’s car appeared around the corner a few seconds later. She quickly climbed out to say goodbye to them before they headed to the airport.

Viktor’s mother, Alyonna, had invited them to come over for her birthday, to which the family happily agreed. She had last seen Takuto when he was still a baby, so it was time for them to meet again.

Luckily, Takuto fell asleep just twenty minutes after the take-off. “I wish we could visit her more often,” Yuuri sighed, resting his head on his husband’s shoulder. “I know, Solnyshko,” Viktor replied, stroking the back of Yuuri’s hand. “I know.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“How much you’ve grown, my little darling!” Viktor’s mother said happily before the young boy embraced her tightly. “Granny!” he shouted, giggling as she littered him with kisses.

She then turned to Viktor and Yuuri, who were fondly looking at them. “I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered before pulling them close. “It’s a shame we get to see each other so rarely.” The journey to her manor was spent in delighted chatter from all sides. Yakov was there, too, smiling his rare smiles at the tiny boy next to him.

“How about we take him to the ice rink? He loves skating, we always take him to our local rink on Saturdays,” Viktor suggested as they were gathered in the living room. Takuto was playing with the many toys his granny got him, giggling happily as he created a story.

“I think he’d like that,” Alyonna said. “I’ve only ever skated once, though.”

Taking the four-year-old ice skating was a good idea, because as soon as his tiny skates hit the ice, he was off, happily flying over the ice as if he owned it. Yuuri and Viktor were skating, too. They either got chased by their son or chased him in reverse, laughing heartedly.

Alyonna watched them in joy, taking photos and videos of the small, happy family. Yakov was there to keep her company, which she was grateful for. “He’s changed so much, didn’t he?” she asked fondly. Yakov could do nothing but agree. Over the last few years, it was easy to see how much Yuuri changed Viktor into the better. From the way he moved, acted and spoke to the way he held himself with so much more pride.

Viktor was like a son to him, and he couldn’t thank Yuuri enough for teaching Viktor how to live again.

 

 

With five, Takuto started taking lessons. He dedicated them to Makkachin, who died shortly after his fifth birthday.

 

With six, he got into primary.

 

With seven, he won his first competition and dedicated it to Vicchan.

 

With ten, he begged his parents for a dog of his own.

 

With fifteen, he entered the Senior Division.

 

 

 

_I remember the day I first met him clearly._

 

_The day my life changed forever. I remember the way he looked at me when he was happy, upset, or just hopelessly bored. I remember the way he talked, the way he said my name with such sincerity and honesty._

 

_I remember all the times in which I felt myself falling deeper and deeper in love._

 

_With everything that he was._

 

_And everything that he would be._

 

_I remember his hair and how soft it was to the touch. I remember his voice, how it managed to sooth me no matter how anxious I was._

 

_I remember his promises and how hard he fought to keep them._

 

_I remember his eyes, how they made the ocean look dull in comparison. The way his blue orbs sparkled whenever joy engulfed him._

 

_I remember his hands, the way our fingers would intertwine at all opportunities we got, the way he touched me, creating fireworks all over my skin._

 

_I remember his love and how it always managed to give me the strength I needed to fight for my dreams._

 

_I remember the way destiny struck and our lives intertwined, bringing me the love I had always hoped for._

 

_I remember his gentle kisses, how they always managed to make warmth spread inside of me even when an icy chill surrounded us._

_And every morning, I wake up to his splendid beauty._

_And I pray_

_Please, don’t ever take him away from me._

_Let him always be by my side._

_Let us always be together._

_As lovers._

_As partners._

_As a family._

_But he’s not the only light in my life. There’s Takuto._

_Our wonderful, beautiful son._

_And I know_

 

_that I was lucky._

_Lucky to have found everything I’ve searched for._

_When I wake up in the morning, it is to the soft and steady beat of our hearts._

 

_When I go to bed in the evenings, I always pray for the same thing._

_Stay close to me._

_And I promise_

_that I will always stay close to them._

_Because I know_

_That love conquers all._

Next on the ice, Takuto Ilya Katsuki-Nikiforov, representing Japan!

 

 

_And I know that I couldn’t be any more proud of him._

_Of us._

_And when I’d reached for the stars, it was the whole universe looking back at me._

With twenty, he was on top of the world.

 

With twenty-three, he got married to the love of his life.

 

With twenty-five, his daughter was born.

 

With twenty-eight, he retired to start coaching.

 

With thirty, he considered himself the luckiest man in the world.

 

And he couldn’t be more grateful for all his parents did for him.

 

And seeing them looking at each other with expressions so full of love, even after all those years made him happier than he could ever put into words.

 

Because they were happy,

 

And they would always be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional art by ToraToramins! 
> 
> Ocean scene in love valley and their dance at the annual's new years party

 

full-sized versions of the wedding and piano draw!


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